Date: January 4th, 2024 7:21 PM
Author: Carmine area
In the series finale, the door to the c130 opens and I step out onto a blindingly bright tarmac in the desert, with ruck and duffel bags, à la Hurt Locker. The camera pans out and then cuts to a montage of the endings for all the other characters:
- EPAH's kids grow up to be normal and unmutilated
- zurich is leaving rehab with new PREP prescription in hand
- spaceporn's kid grows up to be normal too, without any residual childhood trauma (physical or otherwise)
- boner police marries GJR
- evan39 is literally the assistant manager to a Kroger in Seattle
- TBTP is in a normal, healthy marriage to a pastor; they have with 4 kids and a fifth on the way.
- obeezy finds a reason to live
- Idris Elba correctly answers a poaster's query of how he would feel, had he not eaten breakfast that morning
- Rudolph correctly bets every game of the NFL, MLB, NBA, and college football seasons
- Benzo quits his meth, heroin, and cock addictions and becomes the head of a successful hedge fund, during which he finally leaves Decatur
- OldHLSDude adopts a realistic assessment of how boomers have ruined our country, and in a fit of penance assassinates Nikki Haley
- Karlstack is deplatformed for plagiarism
- doodikoff starts dating two models at once
- consuela leaves his apartment, gets jacked, finds some friends, and married a nice girl 15 years his junior
The camera cuts back to me and the E7 on the tarmac giving directions screams over the roar of the jet engines, "WELCOME TO ISRAEL."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5470659&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310864#47250365)