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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Cream slimy brethren personal credit line
  12/03/18
...
Cream slimy brethren personal credit line
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
wine duck-like telephone set
  12/03/18
ty!
Cream slimy brethren personal credit line
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Buff Up-to-no-good Pit
  12/03/18
...
deranged crystalline orchestra pit death wish
  12/24/21
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Brindle razzle-dazzle ape
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Brindle razzle-dazzle ape
  12/24/18
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Wonderful Lay
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Fiercely-loyal Translucent Athletic Conference Famous Landscape Painting
  12/24/18
120
bateful sienna windowlicker background story
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bateful sienna windowlicker background story
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Artistic gold tyvmft
Startled salmon rehab
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...
Cream slimy brethren personal credit line
  12/16/21
...
odious misanthropic range
  12/24/18
...
Tantric Corn Cake
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
floppy fantasy-prone school cafeteria
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Cream slimy brethren personal credit line
  07/01/19
...
Brindle razzle-dazzle ape
  07/01/19
...
Brindle razzle-dazzle ape
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Cream slimy brethren personal credit line
  12/10/19
getting close...
Cream slimy brethren personal credit line
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Cream slimy brethren personal credit line
  12/24/19
...
Cobalt swashbuckling weed whacker mother
  12/24/19
...
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embarrassed to the bone jap
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Twisted dingle berry field
  12/24/19
...
flushed mildly autistic principal's office water buffalo
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Startled salmon rehab
  12/24/19
lol
Cream slimy brethren personal credit line
  12/24/19
This
deranged crystalline orchestra pit death wish
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
alcoholic soul-stirring multi-billionaire mad-dog skullcap
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Cream slimy brethren personal credit line
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Cream slimy brethren personal credit line
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lube up your chimneys!
Cream slimy brethren personal credit line
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pure gold 180
deranged crystalline orchestra pit death wish
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Gay Self-absorbed Main People
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beady-eyed sadistic university round eye
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It's time.
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vigorous location stock car
  12/24/20
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Cream slimy brethren personal credit line
  12/16/21
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Maniacal Thirsty Casino
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beady-eyed sadistic university round eye
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Chri$tmas $pirit
Cream slimy brethren personal credit line
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Lmao
smoky institution scourge upon the earth
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smoky institution scourge upon the earth
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Pink French Chef Gunner
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deranged crystalline orchestra pit death wish
  12/25/23
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grown men with poopy butt cracks
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nude butt cheeks
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constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: wine duck-like telephone set

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Buff Up-to-no-good Pit

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: deranged crystalline orchestra pit death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Brindle razzle-dazzle ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Bistre half-breed quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: dark keepsake machete



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: rambunctious adventurous cuckold



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Buff Up-to-no-good Pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: concupiscible idiotic wrinkle pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: vigorous location stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: offensive voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: yapping dopamine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Boyish stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Brindle razzle-dazzle ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Wonderful Lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Fiercely-loyal Translucent Athletic Conference Famous Landscape Painting

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: bateful sienna windowlicker background story

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: bateful sienna windowlicker background story



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Maniacal Thirsty Casino



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: stimulating umber sneaky criminal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Startled salmon rehab

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: odious misanthropic range



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Tantric Corn Cake



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: floppy fantasy-prone school cafeteria

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Brindle razzle-dazzle ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Brindle razzle-dazzle ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Cobalt swashbuckling weed whacker mother



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: embarrassed to the bone jap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Twisted dingle berry field

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: flushed mildly autistic principal's office water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Startled salmon rehab

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: deranged crystalline orchestra pit death wish

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: alcoholic soul-stirring multi-billionaire mad-dog skullcap

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: pearl aphrodisiac feces



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: deranged crystalline orchestra pit death wish

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Gay Self-absorbed Main People



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: beady-eyed sadistic university round eye



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: vigorous location stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Maniacal Thirsty Casino



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: beady-eyed sadistic university round eye



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: smoky institution scourge upon the earth

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Cream slimy brethren personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: smoky institution scourge upon the earth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Pink French Chef Gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: deranged crystalline orchestra pit death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=6hr#49538935)