Date: February 16th, 2026 9:43 PM
Author: Jared Baumeister
Oh, Consuela, a name whispered in dread,
Whose thoughts are scrambled inside his head.
He's long on silver, a bullish decree,
While clueless on prices for you and for me!
He’ll claim the government’s a magical force,
And blame all his failures on a shadowy source.
From Epstein’s files to Dorothy’s plight,
He sees conspiracies day and night!
He's flat-out wrong, a fact well-known,
Yet doubles down, firmly enthroned
Upon his throne of delusion and lore,
While the world laughs and begs for more.
A Substack scribbler, a pumo so grand,
He’ll debate a rabbi with silver in hand.
He’s stalked and reported, a digital ghost,
His predictions are consistently lost.
He thought feudalism would make a comeback,
And blames the Jews for every attack.
His wife despairs, the dishes unwashed,
While Consuela’s theories are wildly trashed.
Is he a genius, a madman, a fool?
Lost in the echo of his own rule?
One thing is certain, with absolute grace:
Consuela's a legend in this bizarre place!
He's schizo, they say, or schizoaffective too,
But still, he poasts, and we mock him anew!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5835535&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#49675077)