and that's the fucking point. they did restaurant opening shit twice -- mocha joe's and the actual restaurant

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5148435&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#44812753)

larry: "oh... hey guru. i'm, just, uh... meeting richard for lunch for some sushi... kinda in a rush."

cslg: "oh wow, brother, that's awesome! here, take a stack of my cards. if he ever needs a lawyer tell him to give me a call. you know, i'm actually opening up my..."

larry: "hey, guru... i'm kinda in a rush, i'll see you la..."

cslg: "no worries brother, email me some time. i'm meeting up with the mongolian chef and his wife for the new sushi bar. thinking about making her part of his equity contribution if you know what i mean, haha... alright brother you need some more cards..."

larry: "wait... you're opening a sushi restaurant with a *mongolian* head chef? you can't do that. that's not sushi"

cslg: "brother you gotta take risks in life, you know what i mean? a lot of people told me you couldn't get rich from overprescribing shots for minor soft tissue injuries, but check out these settlement checks *pulls out iPhone*"

larry [getting eye to eye]: "listen you little rat faced kike, you can't just have a bunch of mongolians putting fish on rice and call it sushi... it's not real. it's never gonna work"

cslg: "haha woah brother, chill out! my life is awesome, i'm taking risks. you should try it man. seinfeld was, what, 30 years ago now? brother email me, when i open it'll be my treat. here, take some more cards..."

larry: "you don't get it, you little punk... i'm not going to stand for some bastardized mongolian sushi. i'll start my own restaurant"

cslg: "haha, i'm sure you will brother! like the coffee shop? or the play? no worries brother, i'll keep you out if you're serious. i've helped a lot of people out around here. gotta go brother, email me. here, take some more cards"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5148435&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#44812843)

LARRY: No, it was that lawyer.

JEFF: What lawyer?

LARRY: Remember I bumped into his car in the valley and he tried to get $500,000 from me?

JEFF: Oh yeah.

LARRY: And it wasn't even a real accident, I was only going like three miles an hour.

JEFF: That was crazy. So it's a spite sushi bar?

LARRY: Yeah, pretty much.

JEFF: But you don't even eat sushi. What is this one? Some kind of seaweed wrap?

LARRY: I have no idea.

JEFF: You don't have a clue what you're doing, do you?

LARRY: No, I don't.

[RICHARD LEWIS enters]

RICHARD: When I heard you were down here selling sushi I thought it had to be some kind of fucking joke.

LARRY: I'm just trying to drive someone out of business. It's a long story.

RICHARD: I really don't have time for this shit, man. I have a heart condition, I'm allergic to everything, and my girlfriend won't even talk to me.

LARRY: Oh, cue the violins. He's allergic to the sushi! Richard can't eat the sushi!

RICHARD: Fuck you, I'm getting out of here.

[SUSIE GREENE enters]

SUSIE: What the hell is this? Do you even have a license to sell this stuff?

LARRY: Yeah, it's all legit. Here, try one.

SUSIE: Jeff, this doesn't look sanitary. Was this prepared by a Japanese chef?

JEFF: It's fine, eat it.

SUSIE: Look at you, you're pathetic, shoving any random thing in your mouth.

[CSLG enters]

CSLG: Hey, Larry! Welcome to the neighborhood!

SUSIE: Who the fuck is this?

LARRY: It's the lawyer who owns the sushi place across the street.

SUSIE: Lawyer? What?

CSLG: Congratulations on the grand opening, Larry! Place looks great!

LARRY: Thanks.

CSLG: Well, I guess I can't really stay seeing how we're competitors, but I just wanted to drop off these Disneyland tickets for you and your wife. I also have floor seats at the Lakers game if you'd like to join us next week.

LARRY: Wow, I don't know what to say.

SUSIE: See Larry, he brought you these wonderful gifts out of the goodness of his heart. Now that is how neighbors should treat each other.

LARRY: Yeah, thanks.

CSLG: Okay Larry, you have a good one! Email me!

[CSLG waves goodbye and walks across the street]

LARRY: Oh that reminds me, Leon should be here any minute. He's bringing me those sushi knives or whatever they're called.

JEFF: Sushi knives?

LARRY: Yeah, they're the sharpest in the world. Cost like five grand.

[Sound of loud collision outside]

SUSIE: Oh my God! He killed him!

LARRY: Holy shit!

[Leon runs inside after hitting CSLG with his Escalade]

JEFF: What the fuck!

LARRY: He's covered in blood! Call an ambulance!

LEON: Motherfucker walked right in front of me!

LARRY: He's trying to say something!

CSLG: Chuh, chuh, chuh.

[CSLG spits out teeth and coughs blood onto sidewalk]

LARRY: What is he saying?

JEFF: I don't know!

CSLG: Ander. Chuh, chuh, chuh.

LARRY: Is he praying? What is that?

CSLG: Chander. Chandler.

LARRY: Chandler? Who's Chandler?

JEFF: I have no idea!

LARRY: Does anyone know who Chandler is? I'm looking for a Chandler! I need to find Chandler!

[Paramedics load CSLG into ambulance as CURB theme plays]

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5148435&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#44855864)

SUSIE: What the hell is this? Do you even have a license to sell this stuff?

LARRY: Yeah, it's all legit. Here, try one.

SUSIE: Jeff, this doesn't look sanitary. Was this prepared by a Japanese chef?

JEFF: It's fine, eat it.

SUSIE: Look at you, you're pathetic, shoving any random thing in your mouth.

***

Thank you, I died at this part.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5148435&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#44855995)