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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/03/18
...
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Thriller ultramarine parlor hairy legs
  12/03/18
ty!
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Embarrassed to the bone cruise ship
  12/03/18
...
bull headed international law enforcement agency
  12/24/21
...
supple learning disabled rehab dingle berry
  12/03/18
...
Pea-brained Liquid Oxygen Lay
  12/03/18
...
Puce Cuckold
  12/03/18
...
galvanic black university patrolman
  12/03/18
...
Embarrassed to the bone cruise ship
  12/03/18
...
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/07/18
...
slate electric furnace orchestra pit
  12/07/18
...
Demanding indian lodge
  12/07/18
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Charismatic national
  12/07/18
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claret base
  12/07/18
...
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/14/18
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passionate codepig
  12/14/18
...
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/24/18
...
supple learning disabled rehab dingle berry
  12/24/18
...
frozen therapy
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Snowy cerebral piazza
  12/24/18
120
Awkward bateful hospital
  12/24/18
...
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/24/18
...
Awkward bateful hospital
  12/24/18
...
arousing den
  12/24/18
...
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/24/18
...
honey-headed elastic band goal in life
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
lake frum boiling water
  12/24/18
...
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/16/21
...
lascivious unholy location
  12/24/18
...
Haunting Gas Station Haunted Graveyard
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Wine aromatic striped hyena newt
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  07/01/19
...
supple learning disabled rehab dingle berry
  07/01/19
...
supple learning disabled rehab dingle berry
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/10/19
getting close...
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/24/19
...
Frisky crimson resort
  12/24/19
...
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/24/19
...
180 reading party
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Metal parlour jewess
  12/24/19
...
Confused french chef
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
lake frum boiling water
  12/24/19
lol
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/24/19
This
bull headed international law enforcement agency
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Flushed prole point
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/24/19
...
umber crackhouse
  12/24/19
...
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
bull headed international law enforcement agency
  12/24/19
...
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/24/19
...
Aphrodisiac Philosopher-king
  12/24/19
...
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/15/20
...
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/23/20
...
Sapphire faggot firefighter house
  12/24/20
It's time.
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/24/20
...
Demanding indian lodge
  12/24/20
...
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/16/21
...
arousing den
  12/16/21
...
Sapphire faggot firefighter house
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/20/21
Lmao
Very tactful abnormal theater stage
  12/20/21
...
Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic
  12/22/21
...
Very tactful abnormal theater stage
  12/22/21
...
cruel-hearted vigorous church
  12/24/21
...
bull headed international law enforcement agency
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Thriller ultramarine parlor hairy legs

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Embarrassed to the bone cruise ship

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: bull headed international law enforcement agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: supple learning disabled rehab dingle berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Pea-brained Liquid Oxygen Lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Puce Cuckold



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: galvanic black university patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Embarrassed to the bone cruise ship



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: slate electric furnace orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Demanding indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Charismatic national



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: claret base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: passionate codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: supple learning disabled rehab dingle berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: frozen therapy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Snowy cerebral piazza

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Awkward bateful hospital

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Awkward bateful hospital



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: arousing den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: honey-headed elastic band goal in life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: lake frum boiling water

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: lascivious unholy location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Haunting Gas Station Haunted Graveyard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Wine aromatic striped hyena newt

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: supple learning disabled rehab dingle berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: supple learning disabled rehab dingle berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Frisky crimson resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: 180 reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Metal parlour jewess

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Confused french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: lake frum boiling water

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: bull headed international law enforcement agency

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Flushed prole point

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: umber crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: bull headed international law enforcement agency

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac Philosopher-king



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Sapphire faggot firefighter house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Demanding indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: arousing den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Sapphire faggot firefighter house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Very tactful abnormal theater stage

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Mentally Impaired Party Of The First Part Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Very tactful abnormal theater stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: cruel-hearted vigorous church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: bull headed international law enforcement agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#49538935)