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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/03/18
...
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
vivacious fortuitous meteor menage
  12/03/18
ty!
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
angry multi-billionaire
  12/03/18
...
lemon hairraiser preventive strike
  12/24/21
...
Twinkling messiness doctorate
  12/03/18
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free-loading disrespectful athletic conference
  12/03/18
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Fishy Diverse Faggot Firefighter Stage
  12/03/18
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glittery chapel
  12/03/18
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angry multi-billionaire
  12/03/18
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Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/07/18
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dashing hyperactive quadroon public bath
  12/07/18
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boyish harsh incel
  12/07/18
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Fantasy-prone bbw
  12/07/18
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Peach cruise ship degenerate
  12/07/18
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Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/14/18
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Brindle concupiscible home
  12/14/18
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Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/24/18
...
Twinkling messiness doctorate
  12/24/18
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alcoholic brilliant pervert
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Autistic vigorous idea he suggested resort
  12/24/18
120
Beady-eyed national love of her life
  12/24/18
...
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/24/18
...
Beady-eyed national love of her life
  12/24/18
...
Azure Lay Headpube
  12/24/18
...
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/24/18
...
orange stubborn hominid roast beef
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
lake church building scourge upon the earth
  12/24/18
...
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/16/21
...
cracking canary orchestra pit
  12/24/18
...
Yellow aromatic juggernaut box office
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Crystalline Wagecucks Marketing Idea
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  07/01/19
...
Twinkling messiness doctorate
  07/01/19
...
Twinkling messiness doctorate
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/10/19
getting close...
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/24/19
...
razzle stage useless brakes
  12/24/19
...
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/24/19
...
Amethyst Kitty Genital Piercing
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
adventurous sick gaping
  12/24/19
...
Laughsome geriatric bawdyhouse partner
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
lake church building scourge upon the earth
  12/24/19
lol
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/24/19
This
lemon hairraiser preventive strike
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Tan parlour
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/24/19
...
Trip violet halford
  12/24/19
...
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
lemon hairraiser preventive strike
  12/24/19
...
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/24/19
...
razzle-dazzle wine laser beams parlor
  12/24/19
...
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/15/20
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Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/23/20
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Chartreuse Office
  12/24/20
It's time.
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/24/20
...
boyish harsh incel
  12/24/20
...
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/16/21
...
Azure Lay Headpube
  12/16/21
...
Chartreuse Office
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/20/21
Lmao
Magical spot sweet tailpipe
  12/20/21
...
Arousing pistol meetinghouse
  12/22/21
...
Magical spot sweet tailpipe
  12/22/21
...
copper market keepsake machete
  12/24/21
...
lemon hairraiser preventive strike
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: vivacious fortuitous meteor menage

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: angry multi-billionaire

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: lemon hairraiser preventive strike



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Twinkling messiness doctorate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: free-loading disrespectful athletic conference



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Fishy Diverse Faggot Firefighter Stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: glittery chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: angry multi-billionaire



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: dashing hyperactive quadroon public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: boyish harsh incel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Fantasy-prone bbw



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Peach cruise ship degenerate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Brindle concupiscible home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Twinkling messiness doctorate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: alcoholic brilliant pervert



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Autistic vigorous idea he suggested resort

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Beady-eyed national love of her life

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Beady-eyed national love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Azure Lay Headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: orange stubborn hominid roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: lake church building scourge upon the earth

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: cracking canary orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Yellow aromatic juggernaut box office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Crystalline Wagecucks Marketing Idea

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Twinkling messiness doctorate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Twinkling messiness doctorate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: razzle stage useless brakes



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Amethyst Kitty Genital Piercing



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: adventurous sick gaping

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Laughsome geriatric bawdyhouse partner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: lake church building scourge upon the earth

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: lemon hairraiser preventive strike

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Tan parlour

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Trip violet halford



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: lemon hairraiser preventive strike

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: razzle-dazzle wine laser beams parlor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Chartreuse Office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: boyish harsh incel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Azure Lay Headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Chartreuse Office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Magical spot sweet tailpipe

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Arousing pistol meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Magical spot sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: copper market keepsake machete



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: lemon hairraiser preventive strike



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=posted#49538935)