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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/03/18
...
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Aquamarine low-t crackhouse
  12/03/18
ty!
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Brilliant rigpig
  12/03/18
...
maniacal heady base
  12/24/21
...
infuriating weed whacker
  12/03/18
...
alcoholic den
  12/03/18
...
Mint national
  12/03/18
...
beady-eyed lemon doctorate blood rage
  12/03/18
...
Brilliant rigpig
  12/03/18
...
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/07/18
...
painfully honest rusted love of her life
  12/07/18
...
Electric Trailer Park
  12/07/18
...
Diverse purple legend principal's office
  12/07/18
...
Rose pit
  12/07/18
...
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/14/18
...
Burgundy erotic indian lodge
  12/14/18
...
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/24/18
...
infuriating weed whacker
  12/24/18
...
tripping range
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Bistre church
  12/24/18
120
Curious point juggernaut
  12/24/18
...
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/24/18
...
Curious point juggernaut
  12/24/18
...
Histrionic frozen area
  12/24/18
...
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/24/18
...
topaz cracking puppy
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Motley clear lettuce hospital
  12/24/18
...
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/16/21
...
Gaped kitchen
  12/24/18
...
Obsidian galvanic parlour
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
bateful sapphire dysfunction
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
twinkling useless brakes hall
  07/01/19
...
infuriating weed whacker
  07/01/19
...
infuriating weed whacker
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/10/19
getting close...
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/24/19
...
Godawful corner
  12/24/19
...
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/24/19
...
Primrose Thriller Fat Ankles
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Impressive Set Goyim
  12/24/19
...
aphrodisiac garnet feces
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Motley clear lettuce hospital
  12/24/19
lol
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/24/19
This
maniacal heady base
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Charcoal shrine international law enforcement agency
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/24/19
...
turquoise at-the-ready cruise ship dopamine
  12/24/19
...
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
maniacal heady base
  12/24/19
...
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/24/19
...
black sound barrier therapy
  12/24/19
...
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/15/20
...
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/23/20
...
razzle-dazzle property nibblets
  12/24/20
It's time.
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/24/20
...
Electric Trailer Park
  12/24/20
...
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/16/21
...
Histrionic frozen area
  12/16/21
...
razzle-dazzle property nibblets
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/20/21
Lmao
citrine bawdyhouse sandwich
  12/20/21
...
twinkling useless brakes hall
  12/22/21
...
citrine bawdyhouse sandwich
  12/22/21
...
Stimulating Rehab Boiling Water
  12/24/21
...
maniacal heady base
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Aquamarine low-t crackhouse

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Brilliant rigpig

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: maniacal heady base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: infuriating weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: alcoholic den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Mint national



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: beady-eyed lemon doctorate blood rage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Brilliant rigpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: painfully honest rusted love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Electric Trailer Park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Diverse purple legend principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Rose pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Burgundy erotic indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: infuriating weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: tripping range



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Bistre church

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Curious point juggernaut

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Curious point juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Histrionic frozen area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: topaz cracking puppy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Motley clear lettuce hospital

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Gaped kitchen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Obsidian galvanic parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: bateful sapphire dysfunction

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: infuriating weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: infuriating weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Godawful corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Primrose Thriller Fat Ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Impressive Set Goyim

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: aphrodisiac garnet feces



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Motley clear lettuce hospital

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: maniacal heady base

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Charcoal shrine international law enforcement agency

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: turquoise at-the-ready cruise ship dopamine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: maniacal heady base

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: black sound barrier therapy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle property nibblets



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Electric Trailer Park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Histrionic frozen area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle property nibblets



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: citrine bawdyhouse sandwich

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: twinkling useless brakes hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: citrine bawdyhouse sandwich



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Stimulating Rehab Boiling Water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: maniacal heady base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=today#49538935)