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Non Lawyer here, I don’t get the “No Litigators” joke

Aren’t these guys prestigious? They’re the ones ...
Glittery house idiot
  04/04/26
It is impossible for litigators to move in-house.
House-broken rusted french chef
  04/04/26
why? can't they learn all that in house stuff on the job
Glittery house idiot
  04/04/26
found the litigator
boyish rose set
  04/04/26
...
heady sanctuary rigpig
  04/04/26
...
Aphrodisiac brunch pistol
  04/04/26
Doing M&A is like Matching on Match Day. The less &ldquo...
Turquoise fear-inspiring jewess
  04/04/26
...
Magical University
  04/04/26
so M&A lawyers are the best? they're like neurosurgeons?...
Glittery house idiot
  04/04/26
A lawyer who actually practices law is Scum, not unlike an E...
Turquoise fear-inspiring jewess
  04/04/26
what are the best Fake Jobs out there why isn't litigator...
Glittery house idiot
  04/04/26
Talking in court is stressful and involves actual work. Not ...
Marvelous karate
  04/04/26
when is being a litigator the right career move? Would David...
Glittery house idiot
  04/04/26
Product motherfuckin' Management
Turquoise fear-inspiring jewess
  04/04/26
As a litigator, this is very cr. Unless you own your own ...
heady sanctuary rigpig
  04/04/26
what makes litigators successful vs those that dont? doesnt ...
Glittery house idiot
  04/04/26
biglaw is the perfect example of what everyone aspires to be...
Aphrodisiac brunch pistol
  04/04/26
Do you realize how much shit you have to eat and then smile ...
heady sanctuary rigpig
  04/04/26
a friend of mine spent years as a AUSA then became a biglaw ...
Glittery house idiot
  04/04/26
lol @ AUSA calling themselves "trial lawyers" D...
heady sanctuary rigpig
  04/04/26
ok but my point still stands about their specialization as l...
Glittery house idiot
  04/04/26
"specialization" in prosecuting: - kiddie porn-...
heady sanctuary rigpig
  04/04/26
enough where they got a biglaw job and became partner soon a...
Glittery house idiot
  04/04/26
Yeah, because the only criminal defense BIGLAW does is gover...
heady sanctuary rigpig
  04/04/26
govt investigations and white collar crime pros is a fake jo...
Glittery house idiot
  04/04/26
"Oh no...we might get hit with fines and an embarrassin...
heady sanctuary rigpig
  04/04/26
*goes to jail for 20 years*
Glittery house idiot
  04/04/26
lol, when as a CorpBro gone to POUNDMYASS State Prison?
heady sanctuary rigpig
  04/04/26
POUNDMYFACE FedPrison https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo...
Glittery house idiot
  04/04/26
You had to go back over 15 fucking years to find a CorpBro w...
heady sanctuary rigpig
  04/04/26
https://decrypt.co/314424/sbf-victimville-violent-prisons-ca...
Glittery house idiot
  04/04/26
don't forget all the white collar crime and gun shit. Oh wow...
Aphrodisiac brunch pistol
  04/04/26
...
heady sanctuary rigpig
  04/05/26
Dermatologists should keep pamphlets in their office on Cliq...
Aphrodisiac brunch pistol
  04/04/26
Why do some of these Nerds/Losers get acne so bad? Never fig...
Turquoise fear-inspiring jewess
  04/04/26
it's a causation issue. It's not that Nerd/Losers disproport...
Aphrodisiac brunch pistol
  04/04/26
Why don’t college athletes have acne Also NBA seems...
Turquoise fear-inspiring jewess
  04/04/26
the real question is how many Losers could have become colle...
Aphrodisiac brunch pistol
  04/04/26
Losers don’t get disenfranchised bc they suck at sport...
Turquoise fear-inspiring jewess
  04/05/26
Hell is other litigators
mahogany insecure cumskin
  04/04/26
...
heady sanctuary rigpig
  04/05/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 10:36 AM
Author: Glittery house idiot

Aren’t these guys prestigious? They’re the ones who argue in front of SCOTUS right? Why would they be shunned in favor of some paper pushing corporate lawyers

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793111)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 10:56 AM
Author: House-broken rusted french chef

It is impossible for litigators to move in-house.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793136)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 11:07 AM
Author: Glittery house idiot

why? can't they learn all that in house stuff on the job

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793155)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 10:58 AM
Author: boyish rose set

found the litigator

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793139)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:26 PM
Author: heady sanctuary rigpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793876)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:27 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac brunch pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793879)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 11:11 AM
Author: Turquoise fear-inspiring jewess

Doing M&A is like Matching on Match Day. The less “lawyery” the lawyer’s job, the more prestigious and sought-after he is. The litigator has to actually argue things in “court” like a shitlawyer

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793160)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 11:12 AM
Author: Magical University



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793162)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 11:19 AM
Author: Glittery house idiot

so M&A lawyers are the best? they're like neurosurgeons?

what would litigators be then, internists?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793171)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 11:44 AM
Author: Turquoise fear-inspiring jewess

A lawyer who actually practices law is Scum, not unlike an ER doctor covered in blood and shit and exposed to tons of Viruses constantly saving thousands of lives and making 188k

Fake Jobs are where the money is. An anesthesiologist turning Knobs exquisitely like the conductor of a Symphony. A Dermatologist examining patient phenotypes. A neurosurgeon, yeah, maybe. Also he might get Sued if he fucks the brain up. One wrong move, champ.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793243)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:03 PM
Author: Glittery house idiot

what are the best Fake Jobs out there

why isn't litigator considered one

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793838)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:31 PM
Author: Marvelous karate

Talking in court is stressful and involves actual work. Not a true Fake Job. a good Fake Job allows you to pass of your work to an LLM, casually check the work and then inflate your billables by 60%

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793889)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:34 PM
Author: Glittery house idiot

when is being a litigator the right career move? Would David Boies have been better off being an M&A lawyer

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793897)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:35 PM
Author: Turquoise fear-inspiring jewess

Product

motherfuckin'

Management

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793898)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:27 PM
Author: heady sanctuary rigpig

As a litigator, this is very cr.

Unless you own your own shop, nobody is paying Litigators top dollar for what they do.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793881)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:29 PM
Author: Glittery house idiot

what makes litigators successful vs those that dont? doesnt biglaw have litigator partners making millions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793886)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:35 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac brunch pistol

biglaw is the perfect example of what everyone aspires to be when they take the LSAT but the cold hard truth is akin to George Carlin's giant club that you ain't in. More than half of attorneys are Women and maybe 10% of those women (5% of the total number of LSAT takers) will actually stay in the profession more than 10 years

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793899)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:45 PM
Author: heady sanctuary rigpig

Do you realize how much shit you have to eat and then smile for more in order to make it as a partner in BIGLAW?

Then there's the fact that BIGLAW hardly goes to trial. You won't see the inside of a courtroom until you're a mid-level associate, let along actually first chair a case.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793922)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:47 PM
Author: Glittery house idiot

a friend of mine spent years as a AUSA then became a biglaw litigator then partner, it doesn't seem as bad as xo makes it out to be

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793924)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:49 PM
Author: heady sanctuary rigpig

lol @ AUSA calling themselves "trial lawyers"

Depending on what they do, they aren't seeing a fraction of trial experience as StateBros

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793926)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:51 PM
Author: Glittery house idiot

ok but my point still stands about their specialization as litigators. this friend worked in the criminal division

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793927)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:51 PM
Author: heady sanctuary rigpig

"specialization" in prosecuting:

- kiddie porn-havers; &

- convicted felons in possession of firearms

not much heavy lifting.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793928)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:53 PM
Author: Glittery house idiot

enough where they got a biglaw job and became partner soon after with mostly AUSA experience

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793933)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 6:00 PM
Author: heady sanctuary rigpig

Yeah, because the only criminal defense BIGLAW does is government investigations and other white collar shit.

Hence, fake jobs. Nobody in BIGLAW is looking for a litigator who has experience handling murders and sexual assaults.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793949)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 6:03 PM
Author: Glittery house idiot

govt investigations and white collar crime pros is a fake job?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793954)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 6:29 PM
Author: heady sanctuary rigpig

"Oh no...we might get hit with fines and an embarrassing press release"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49794012)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 6:38 PM
Author: Glittery house idiot

*goes to jail for 20 years*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49794034)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 6:39 PM
Author: heady sanctuary rigpig

lol, when as a CorpBro gone to POUNDMYASS State Prison?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49794036)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 6:42 PM
Author: Glittery house idiot

POUNDMYFACE FedPrison

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2010/03/madoff_prison_beating.html

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49794043)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 6:45 PM
Author: heady sanctuary rigpig

You had to go back over 15 fucking years to find a CorpBro who got treated like a Nigga and sent to prison?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49794045)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 6:49 PM
Author: Glittery house idiot

https://decrypt.co/314424/sbf-victimville-violent-prisons-california

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49794052)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 7:01 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac brunch pistol

don't forget all the white collar crime and gun shit. Oh wow what a DEFENDER OF ARE FREEDOMS: you got 20 years on someone for 3d printing a gun

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49794091)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 5th, 2026 1:10 AM
Author: heady sanctuary rigpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49794782)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:28 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac brunch pistol

Dermatologists should keep pamphlets in their office on Clique Theory like my Chiropractor has for dog chiropractics.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793885)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:35 PM
Author: Turquoise fear-inspiring jewess

Why do some of these Nerds/Losers get acne so bad? Never figured that out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793900)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:38 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac brunch pistol

it's a causation issue. It's not that Nerd/Losers disproportionately get acne. I'm a Scumgineer and never had acne besides a couple pimples in my teens. I knew kids who looked like their face went through a pizza grater. Phenotype matters here; the acne kids who realize this will usually develop into Nerds. The rest are Losers.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49793905)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 6:42 PM
Author: Turquoise fear-inspiring jewess

Why don’t college athletes have acne

Also NBA seems less bald vs irl if anything

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49794042)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 7:02 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac brunch pistol

the real question is how many Losers could have become college athletes but didn't because of acne

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49794094)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 5th, 2026 11:55 AM
Author: Turquoise fear-inspiring jewess

Losers don’t get disenfranchised bc they suck at sports imo but coaches usually don’t take kindly to Scumjocks, however talented they may be.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49795371)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 9:14 PM
Author: mahogany insecure cumskin

Hell is other litigators

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49794377)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 5th, 2026 1:11 AM
Author: heady sanctuary rigpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49794784)