"And from 1984 to 2058, you went to the gym or otherwise exercised 5,531 times, and

*flips page*

5,525 of them were fully clothed."

*looks at you with raised eyebrows*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3023915&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#29020553)

You begin to sweat. "One hundred thousand was just an estimate," you stammer. "Regardless, what I meant to indicate was that I was part of the Work of the Greatbort which paved the way to rebuilding the world after the Event and showed us the path to the stars."

St. Peter half-nods, half-shakes his head. "But the rest of your time was spent on - am I reading this correctly - 'due diligence' and 'midget pornography'? Both of those activities were banned after the Event as being clear Contributors, were they not?"

He is remarkably well-informed on mundane affairs, you think to yourself. "If it helps," you mumble, "I wasn't very good at the due diligence."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3023915&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#29020550)

"That would be all."

"I haven't done any of your other monikers yet..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3023915&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#30016885)

You sigh, relieved.

"Well, that's not so bad, is it?"

You straighten your halo and make a start for the gates.

St. Peter unfurls another scroll

"Now, onto your second moniker."

Seinfield slap bass plays.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3023915&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#30016898)

“I understand you poast from Heaven, so I’m sure you can see my contributions brought joy to others,” you say with hope.

“Yes, I poasted on the business board as St. Peter, but on the law board I poast as a average man... Peterman.”

*gulps air*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3023915&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39098206)