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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/03/18
...
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
curious frisky half-breed cruise ship
  12/03/18
ty!
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
appetizing cream liquid oxygen
  12/03/18
...
infuriating floppy doctorate fortuitous meteor
  12/24/21
...
Irradiated ocher field
  12/03/18
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Brass hateful property
  12/03/18
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histrionic at-the-ready pit psychic
  12/03/18
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spectacular kink-friendly brunch
  12/03/18
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appetizing cream liquid oxygen
  12/03/18
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exhilarant pistol milk
  12/07/18
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Turquoise Gaming Laptop Sanctuary
  12/07/18
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Rose Main People
  12/07/18
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Arrogant trust fund casino
  12/07/18
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Tripping love of her life
  12/07/18
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exhilarant pistol milk
  12/14/18
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demanding box office jew
  12/14/18
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exhilarant pistol milk
  12/24/18
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Irradiated ocher field
  12/24/18
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Charismatic startling location
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
beady-eyed whorehouse
  12/24/18
120
ruddy office
  12/24/18
...
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/24/18
...
ruddy office
  12/24/18
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Galvanic Ticket Booth Depressive
  12/24/18
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exhilarant pistol milk
  12/24/18
...
sienna kitty market
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
doobsian potus stock car
  12/24/18
...
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/16/21
...
bipolar sneaky criminal circlehead
  12/24/18
...
Lake flirting nowag
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
nudist comical roommate
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
exhilarant pistol milk
  07/01/19
...
Irradiated ocher field
  07/01/19
...
Irradiated ocher field
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/10/19
getting close...
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/24/19
...
Startled piazza
  12/24/19
...
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/24/19
...
mustard wonderful library macaca
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
bonkers tattoo
  12/24/19
...
olive self-centered home codepig
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
doobsian potus stock car
  12/24/19
lol
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/24/19
This
infuriating floppy doctorate fortuitous meteor
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Talented ape halford
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/24/19
...
sable out-of-control base famous landscape painting
  12/24/19
...
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
infuriating floppy doctorate fortuitous meteor
  12/24/19
...
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/24/19
...
aromatic stead
  12/24/19
...
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/15/20
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exhilarant pistol milk
  12/23/20
...
marvelous talking deer antler church building
  12/24/20
It's time.
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/24/20
...
Rose Main People
  12/24/20
...
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/16/21
...
Galvanic Ticket Booth Depressive
  12/16/21
...
marvelous talking deer antler church building
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/20/21
Lmao
Crawly Lime Jap
  12/20/21
...
exhilarant pistol milk
  12/22/21
...
Crawly Lime Jap
  12/22/21
...
Lavender Razzle-dazzle Site Weed Whacker
  12/24/21
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infuriating floppy doctorate fortuitous meteor
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: curious frisky half-breed cruise ship

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: appetizing cream liquid oxygen

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: infuriating floppy doctorate fortuitous meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Irradiated ocher field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Brass hateful property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: histrionic at-the-ready pit psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: spectacular kink-friendly brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: appetizing cream liquid oxygen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Turquoise Gaming Laptop Sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Rose Main People



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Arrogant trust fund casino



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Tripping love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: demanding box office jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Irradiated ocher field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Charismatic startling location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: beady-eyed whorehouse

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: ruddy office

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: ruddy office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Galvanic Ticket Booth Depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: sienna kitty market



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: doobsian potus stock car

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: bipolar sneaky criminal circlehead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Lake flirting nowag



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: nudist comical roommate

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Irradiated ocher field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Irradiated ocher field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Startled piazza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: mustard wonderful library macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: bonkers tattoo

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: olive self-centered home codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: doobsian potus stock car

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: infuriating floppy doctorate fortuitous meteor

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Talented ape halford

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: sable out-of-control base famous landscape painting



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: infuriating floppy doctorate fortuitous meteor

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: aromatic stead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: marvelous talking deer antler church building



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Rose Main People



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Galvanic Ticket Booth Depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: marvelous talking deer antler church building



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Crawly Lime Jap

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: exhilarant pistol milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Crawly Lime Jap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Lavender Razzle-dazzle Site Weed Whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: infuriating floppy doctorate fortuitous meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49538935)