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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/03/18
...
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
vibrant mahogany ticket booth pistol
  12/03/18
ty!
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Khaki Set Death Wish
  12/03/18
...
saffron karate school cafeteria
  12/24/21
...
White abode
  12/03/18
...
red sneaky criminal locale
  12/03/18
...
Aquamarine really tough guy legend
  12/03/18
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judgmental confused toaster fortuitous meteor
  12/03/18
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Khaki Set Death Wish
  12/03/18
...
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/07/18
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Sinister pungent becky rigpig
  12/07/18
...
low-t old irish cottage newt
  12/07/18
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Magenta Marketing Idea
  12/07/18
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brass address
  12/07/18
...
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/14/18
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Offensive plaza sweet tailpipe
  12/14/18
...
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/24/18
...
White abode
  12/24/18
...
ungodly bawdyhouse puppy
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
diverse effete mediation
  12/24/18
120
Bearded Stain
  12/24/18
...
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/24/18
...
Bearded Stain
  12/24/18
...
Irradiated black senate
  12/24/18
...
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/24/18
...
soul-stirring pale masturbator
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
motley personal credit line
  12/24/18
...
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/16/21
...
Galvanic Overrated Gay Wizard
  12/24/18
...
Carmine fragrant corner round eye
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Passionate Pearl Volcanic Crater Mad Cow Disease
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  07/01/19
...
White abode
  07/01/19
...
White abode
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/10/19
getting close...
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/24/19
...
Unholy Affirmative Action
  12/24/19
...
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/24/19
...
rusted mental disorder elastic band
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Excitant mewling area partner
  12/24/19
...
Mildly Autistic Nudist Parlor
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
motley personal credit line
  12/24/19
lol
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/24/19
This
saffron karate school cafeteria
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Cordovan theatre genital piercing
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/24/19
...
Marvelous light center
  12/24/19
...
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
saffron karate school cafeteria
  12/24/19
...
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/24/19
...
Supple Point Feces
  12/24/19
...
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/15/20
...
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/23/20
...
green background story
  12/24/20
It's time.
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/24/20
...
low-t old irish cottage newt
  12/24/20
...
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/16/21
...
Irradiated black senate
  12/16/21
...
green background story
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/20/21
Lmao
big state private investor
  12/20/21
...
Umber shaky stag film roast beef
  12/22/21
...
big state private investor
  12/22/21
...
razzle jet-lagged yarmulke
  12/24/21
...
saffron karate school cafeteria
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: vibrant mahogany ticket booth pistol

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Khaki Set Death Wish

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: saffron karate school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: White abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: red sneaky criminal locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Aquamarine really tough guy legend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: judgmental confused toaster fortuitous meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Khaki Set Death Wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Sinister pungent becky rigpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: low-t old irish cottage newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Magenta Marketing Idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: brass address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Offensive plaza sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: White abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: ungodly bawdyhouse puppy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: diverse effete mediation

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Bearded Stain

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Bearded Stain



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Irradiated black senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: soul-stirring pale masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: motley personal credit line

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Galvanic Overrated Gay Wizard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Carmine fragrant corner round eye



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Passionate Pearl Volcanic Crater Mad Cow Disease

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: White abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: White abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Unholy Affirmative Action



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: rusted mental disorder elastic band



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Excitant mewling area partner

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Mildly Autistic Nudist Parlor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: motley personal credit line

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: saffron karate school cafeteria

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Cordovan theatre genital piercing

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Marvelous light center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: saffron karate school cafeteria

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Supple Point Feces



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: green background story



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: low-t old irish cottage newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Irradiated black senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: green background story



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: big state private investor

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Umber shaky stag film roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: big state private investor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: razzle jet-lagged yarmulke



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: saffron karate school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026show=week#49538935)