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Wife found my second phone today, I'm cooked

Pretty much using it for what you think. Stupid emergency al...
gold supple home mad-dog skullcap
  07/15/26
“using it for what you think” Arranging hiking ...
Maize sinister office scourge upon the earth
  07/15/26
say it wasn’t you
Puce tanning salon keepsake machete
  07/15/26
The Shaggy Defense
Transparent diverse karate incel
  07/15/26
...
know-it-all sanctuary wagecucks
  07/15/26
...
Puce tanning salon keepsake machete
  07/16/26
you found the phone last night and didn't have time to turn ...
Doobsian Galvanic Rehab Dysfunction
  07/15/26
no no no no details "idk what that phone is." ...
Saffron Becky
  07/15/26
no I disagree. that would only work if there was a plausible...
Doobsian Galvanic Rehab Dysfunction
  07/15/26
found it and hid it under a stack of papers in a drawer?
comical garnet hell
  07/15/26
lol, fully charged, btw
gay 180 house
  07/15/26
idiotic
Underhanded trip plaza halford
  07/15/26
explain
Saffron Becky
  07/17/26
Oh I guess I should've added it's my old phone so she recogn...
gold supple home mad-dog skullcap
  07/15/26
say you lost your current phone and was setting that up to r...
Doobsian Galvanic Rehab Dysfunction
  07/15/26
"you know that dadaist message board where I pretend to...
Saffron Becky
  07/15/26
You're retarded if you admit to the capability to open it. ...
Fragrant mahogany piazza
  07/15/26
This seems good. But don’t claim vacay pics or somethi...
Maize sinister office scourge upon the earth
  07/15/26
I'm glad someone chimed in with understanding of whatever it...
Fragrant mahogany piazza
  07/15/26
idk he could plausibly have old pics on there that aren't sy...
Doobsian Galvanic Rehab Dysfunction
  07/15/26
Actually EPAH is highly suspect when it comes to expertise o...
Cerebral Glassy Menage Trump Supporter
  07/15/26
This seems like the best idea and way better than the dumbas...
gold supple home mad-dog skullcap
  07/15/26
Hopefully you didn't use the same password on it as you do f...
Fragrant mahogany piazza
  07/15/26
could be fucked if it has face id and she already tried to g...
Doobsian Galvanic Rehab Dysfunction
  07/15/26
This scenario would call for the immediate growth of a beard
Maize sinister office scourge upon the earth
  07/15/26
...
Doobsian Galvanic Rehab Dysfunction
  07/15/26
Hmm. Better safe than sorry. Scribble a fake mustache and be...
Fragrant mahogany piazza
  07/15/26
...
stirring awkward pisswyrm lay
  07/15/26
...
gay 180 house
  07/15/26
...
Talking pit
  07/15/26
...
Underhanded trip plaza halford
  07/15/26
...
beady-eyed magical hospital dingle berry
  07/15/26
...
Snowy parlor
  07/15/26
...
cyan stock car
  07/15/26
cr
Doobsian Galvanic Rehab Dysfunction
  07/15/26
lol doy. Say yea I keep it charged and use it to read xo and...
self-centered whorehouse useless brakes
  07/15/26
Trying to recover crypto
Talking pit
  07/15/26
...
arousing theater stage people who are hurt
  07/15/26
you're chopped, unc
Pearly wonderful location
  07/15/26
does it make a wet plopping noise when the jew cum spurting ...
boyish clown rigpig
  07/15/26
Old work phone? "Try" to unlock it numerous times ...
Violent Cerise University Pozpig
  07/15/26
This is exactly why they've done away with removable batteri...
Fragrant mahogany piazza
  07/15/26
...
primrose cracking native
  07/16/26
Just say it’s an old phone that you were seeing if wor...
soul-stirring sexy coffee pot
  07/15/26
Can’t you wipe it remotely?
Bossy Thirsty School
  07/15/26
lol that would make it way worse. Just say you kept it aroun...
self-centered whorehouse useless brakes
  07/15/26
Good but not good enough if he has incriminating evidence al...
Crusty spruce dilemma filthpig
  07/15/26
THANK YOU! Cuz why the fuck didn't he anticipate a nosey ...
gay 180 house
  07/16/26
ctrl-f "grow a beard" jfc this place is retarde...
Painfully Honest Jet Mediation
  07/15/26
What if you have a beard already?
Vigorous State Generalized Bond
  07/16/26
marry a beard
magenta gunner
  07/17/26
Thank god i never have to deal with that nonsense
henna impertinent market
  07/15/26
Your poasting has been pretty wild and erratic lately, maybe...
Talking pit
  07/15/26
he's doing great
Painfully Honest Jet Mediation
  07/15/26
...
primrose cracking native
  07/17/26
Assuming it's an iphone, can you remote wipe it or some shit...
gay 180 house
  07/15/26
under no circumstances can he unlock it
Underhanded trip plaza halford
  07/15/26
Yeah he’s better off remote wiping it. If she makes hi...
stirring awkward pisswyrm lay
  07/15/26
This works with Androids too.
know-it-all sanctuary wagecucks
  07/15/26
Just say "Disah no wat you tink!"
kink-friendly blathering patrolman multi-billionaire
  07/15/26
OP i will flood it with messages from my irl # about crypto ...
Underhanded trip plaza halford
  07/15/26
Actually, just get a burner phone and start sending messages...
know-it-all sanctuary wagecucks
  07/15/26
...
primrose cracking native
  07/16/26
If you have kids: Wipe it remotely then say: “I&rs...
pink swashbuckling kitty
  07/15/26
This assumes you have a kid that doesn't have a phone and ne...
know-it-all sanctuary wagecucks
  07/15/26
text her right now telling her to leave it alone because it'...
Silver sound barrier theatre
  07/15/26
Never let'em know your next move!
gay 180 house
  07/16/26
turn it back around on her and claim the phone is hers
lilac disrespectful weed whacker
  07/15/26
This could actually work
stirring awkward pisswyrm lay
  07/15/26
Fucking love this
Fragrant mahogany piazza
  07/15/26
...
Painfully Honest Jet Mediation
  07/15/26
...
beta resort
  07/15/26
darvomaxxing tp
Emerald Startling Ratface Indian Lodge
  07/15/26
Bird Brain Masterman
balding lime garrison
  07/15/26
...
primrose cracking native
  07/17/26
...
Saffron Becky
  07/16/26
...
learning disabled ticket booth idea he suggested
  07/16/26
...
Sadistic cruise ship kitty cat
  07/17/26
*clears throat* *raises hand* haha u r fukt
kink-friendly blathering patrolman multi-billionaire
  07/15/26
...
gay 180 house
  07/16/26
Second phone is as fake as the "wife" conjured up ...
boyish clown rigpig
  07/15/26
...
Titillating bat-shit-crazy main people public bath
  07/15/26
Dying for an update. Thinking positive thoughts. It&rsqu...
Massive site
  07/15/26
Need update OP
Talking pit
  07/15/26
Hide other phones randomly around the house and claim they'r...
burgundy masturbator
  07/15/26
Lol
Massive site
  07/16/26
Great thread
Snowy parlor
  07/15/26
...
internet-worthy lavender meetinghouse roommate
  07/15/26
even in the face of senescence there are still those among u...
Painfully Honest Jet Mediation
  07/15/26
...
gay 180 house
  07/16/26
thoughts & prayers, my brother. wishing for a positive ...
cyan stock car
  07/15/26
OP is currently sleeping on the couch
know-it-all sanctuary wagecucks
  07/16/26
He’s lucky if it’s his own couch.
Massive site
  07/16/26
I reposted this on Reddit and it has 8,000 upvotes already
Amber school cafeteria digit ratio
  07/16/26
...
stirring awkward pisswyrm lay
  07/16/26
...
Laughsome Area Sweet Tailpipe
  07/16/26
...
Crusty spruce dilemma filthpig
  07/16/26
"Your bass looks amazing in those plants."
Laughsome Area Sweet Tailpipe
  07/16/26
He's leaving us hanging just about the right amount of time....
Fragrant mahogany piazza
  07/16/26
Wow lol
gold supple home mad-dog skullcap
  07/16/26
Thanks to the poas above who said unlock under no circumstan...
gold supple home mad-dog skullcap
  07/16/26
Fuck those motherfuckers. They deprived us of good content b...
Fragrant mahogany piazza
  07/16/26
what exactly are you involved in? my suggestion would be to...
stirring awkward pisswyrm lay
  07/16/26
You forgot to tell him to seek god
Fragrant mahogany piazza
  07/16/26
that's up to him, but he is playing a dangerous game. you ca...
stirring awkward pisswyrm lay
  07/16/26
You got pozzed by taking tranny hooker loads while injecting...
Scarlet sickened hall
  07/16/26
well when you put it that way
stirring awkward pisswyrm lay
  07/16/26
...
Sadistic cruise ship kitty cat
  07/17/26
DESCRIBE her reaction and her mood from your explanation to ...
Irradiated Fuchsia Stag Film Factory Reset Button
  07/16/26
WHAT would she have found if given full access?
Talking pit
  07/16/26
She just accepted that you didn’t have the code? No in...
Snowy parlor
  07/16/26
It was an android with the weird swipe pattern and I’v...
gold supple home mad-dog skullcap
  07/16/26
Why leave us hanging on the details now after everyone leape...
Fragrant mahogany piazza
  07/16/26
...
Talking pit
  07/16/26
...
cyan stock car
  07/16/26
...
know-it-all sanctuary wagecucks
  07/16/26
...
Sticky Den
  07/17/26
It was his poasting phone
Talking pit
  07/17/26
...
sepia crackhouse
  07/17/26
because the whole thing is flame
useless base
  07/17/26
Isn't proper protocol to keep it going with "updates&qu...
Fragrant mahogany piazza
  07/17/26
Pumos love to throw cold water on everything
Sadistic cruise ship kitty cat
  07/17/26
(literal blackpilled drug addict)
useless base
  07/17/26
it's true though. you faggots claim everything is flame beca...
stirring awkward pisswyrm lay
  07/17/26
Everything true I've poasted has a bunch of people crying fl...
Sadistic cruise ship kitty cat
  07/17/26
and then there's consuela, a non-pumo, who does the same thi...
stirring awkward pisswyrm lay
  07/17/26
Consuela is always the first to believe anything (and then s...
Sadistic cruise ship kitty cat
  07/17/26
we WANT to BELIEVE
primrose cracking native
  07/17/26
i know gunner IRL and can confirm everything he's poasted is...
stirring awkward pisswyrm lay
  07/17/26
The recent pic of me with the topless stripper who jerked my...
Sadistic cruise ship kitty cat
  07/17/26
Pretty much as described, I said I charged it up to get some...
gold supple home mad-dog skullcap
  07/17/26
People want to know more specifics about what they helped yo...
Fragrant mahogany piazza
  07/17/26
Is she stupid? Serious question, like is she the type that w...
Sadistic cruise ship kitty cat
  07/17/26
Hard-core black pill
Mustard Wrinkle Boistinker
  07/18/26
Guy who’s about to get pinned and then overrun by his ...
balding lime garrison
  07/17/26
tell her its for your SWMFM side gig
pungent shaky corner
  07/17/26
This thread was the blackpill I needed to never help a mothe...
Fragrant mahogany piazza
  07/18/26
...
balding lime garrison
  07/18/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:18 PM
Author: gold supple home mad-dog skullcap

Pretty much using it for what you think. Stupid emergency alert went off. I was at work and she was at home and even though I silence it and keep it under a stack of papers in my drawer I guess the emergency alert overrode my settings and it kept going so she found it. Took a pic of the lock screen and sent a pic to me followed up with the 🤔 emoji. She can't get in but she'll probably have me unlock it when I get home. Hopefully no messages have popped up on the lock screen but I have no way of knowing. Best ways to cover this up?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002437)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:40 PM
Author: Maize sinister office scourge upon the earth

“using it for what you think”

Arranging hiking dates with AHGs?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002518)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:19 PM
Author: Puce tanning salon keepsake machete

say it wasn’t you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002440)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:39 PM
Author: Transparent diverse karate incel

The Shaggy Defense

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002515)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:30 PM
Author: know-it-all sanctuary wagecucks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002927)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 1:12 PM
Author: Puce tanning salon keepsake machete



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50004128)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:20 PM
Author: Doobsian Galvanic Rehab Dysfunction

you found the phone last night and didn't have time to turn it in to lost and found/police

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002441)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:21 PM
Author: Saffron Becky

no no no

no details

"idk what that phone is."

"idk how it got there"

"idk the password"

"idk what all these Grindr notifications even mean"

etc etc etc

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002445)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:26 PM
Author: Doobsian Galvanic Rehab Dysfunction

no I disagree. that would only work if there was a plausible explanation for how it could have gotten there without him knowing, which most likely there isn't. cleanest is to just say you found it and are turning it in tomorrow. worst that happens is that she goes with him to the police station to turn it in. then he can just go grab it later and say "whoops actually it was mine".

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002471)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:45 PM
Author: comical garnet hell

found it and hid it under a stack of papers in a drawer?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002798)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:47 PM
Author: gay 180 house

lol, fully charged, btw

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002809)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:53 PM
Author: Underhanded trip plaza halford

idiotic

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002824)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 11:33 AM
Author: Saffron Becky

explain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006238)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:25 PM
Author: gold supple home mad-dog skullcap

Oh I guess I should've added it's my old phone so she recognizes it. I usually just stick them in a drawer somewhere to collect dust and never use them again, so it's suspicious that it's charged and in my home office.

I could say I was playing around with AI and coding an app or something? That's the best I've got

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002468)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:27 PM
Author: Doobsian Galvanic Rehab Dysfunction

say you lost your current phone and was setting that up to replace it as a backup, then you found it again

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002479)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:28 PM
Author: Saffron Becky

"you know that dadaist message board where I pretend to have that wacky persona? yeah this is kind of like research for that guy."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002484)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:33 PM
Author: Fragrant mahogany piazza

You're retarded if you admit to the capability to open it. Say you realized that you have SOMETHING on there (vacation pictures? old work files? USE YOUR FUCKING IMAGINATION) that you wanted (extra points if it's vacation photos and you wanted to use them to make a surprise photo reel for her). But you couldn't remember the password and weren't able to get in



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002496)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:38 PM
Author: Maize sinister office scourge upon the earth

This seems good. But don’t claim vacay pics or something dumb, bc those are all on cloud accounts. Say that you had my contact info on there bc you used to post with that phone, so charged it and turned it on to contact me because [insert a long explanation of a potential legal claim until she stops paying attention] but you couldn’t remember the pin.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002512)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:50 PM
Author: Fragrant mahogany piazza

I'm glad someone chimed in with understanding of whatever it is people do with modern media. I don't have any of that shit enabled, so it would work for me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002553)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:55 PM
Author: Doobsian Galvanic Rehab Dysfunction

idk he could plausibly have old pics on there that aren't synced with anything

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002575)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:44 PM
Author: Cerebral Glassy Menage Trump Supporter

Actually EPAH is highly suspect when it comes to expertise on modern technology

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003257)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:42 PM
Author: gold supple home mad-dog skullcap

This seems like the best idea and way better than the dumbass shit I was gonna say in about 45 mins when I get home

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002525)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:53 PM
Author: Fragrant mahogany piazza

Hopefully you didn't use the same password on it as you do for your current phone. If you they're the same, change your normal phone's password before going home

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002566)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:56 PM
Author: Doobsian Galvanic Rehab Dysfunction

could be fucked if it has face id and she already tried to get into it and noticed

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002576)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 6:04 PM
Author: Maize sinister office scourge upon the earth

This scenario would call for the immediate growth of a beard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002606)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 6:05 PM
Author: Doobsian Galvanic Rehab Dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002609)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:37 PM
Author: Fragrant mahogany piazza

Hmm. Better safe than sorry. Scribble a fake mustache and beard onto your face and an enormous black eye with a sharpie or a pen if you're in a pinch. Don't volunteer anything, but if she asks, just say you fell asleep at your work desk and one of your bros played a little practical joke. No big deal

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002786)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:55 PM
Author: stirring awkward pisswyrm lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002828)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:45 PM
Author: gay 180 house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002801)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:50 PM
Author: Talking pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002815)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:58 PM
Author: Underhanded trip plaza halford



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002840)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:17 PM
Author: beady-eyed magical hospital dingle berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003202)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:54 PM
Author: Snowy parlor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003281)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:21 PM
Author: cyan stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003317)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:45 PM
Author: Doobsian Galvanic Rehab Dysfunction

cr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002535)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 6:07 PM
Author: self-centered whorehouse useless brakes

lol doy. Say yea I keep it charged and use it to read xo and watch porn while you take shits.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002618)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:32 PM
Author: Talking pit

Trying to recover crypto

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002777)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:00 PM
Author: arousing theater stage people who are hurt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003147)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:21 PM
Author: Pearly wonderful location

you're chopped, unc

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002444)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:24 PM
Author: boyish clown rigpig

does it make a wet plopping noise when the jew cum spurting from your fingers hits the keyboard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002458)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:25 PM
Author: Violent Cerise University Pozpig

Old work phone? "Try" to unlock it numerous times and just keep failing. If it's plugged into a charger or she's rlly dumb that can carry you. If it's not, you have to come up with a theory that explains recent use.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002465)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:26 PM
Author: Fragrant mahogany piazza

This is exactly why they've done away with removable batteries (if you were married to the government)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002470)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:11 PM
Author: primrose cracking native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50004585)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:34 PM
Author: soul-stirring sexy coffee pot

Just say it’s an old phone that you were seeing if worked to sell back to Verizon or whatever.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002500)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:35 PM
Author: Bossy Thirsty School

Can’t you wipe it remotely?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002505)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:16 PM
Author: self-centered whorehouse useless brakes

lol that would make it way worse. Just say you kept it around as a porn machine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002752)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:33 PM
Author: Crusty spruce dilemma filthpig

Good but not good enough if he has incriminating evidence all over it. Which if he's retarded enough to leave his cheatmo shit lying around,

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002778)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:15 AM
Author: gay 180 house

THANK YOU!

Cuz why the fuck didn't he anticipate a nosey wife finding it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003845)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:38 PM
Author: Painfully Honest Jet Mediation

ctrl-f "grow a beard"

jfc this place is retarded nowadays. grow a beard and you're fine.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002514)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:58 AM
Author: Vigorous State Generalized Bond

What if you have a beard already?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003688)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 1:26 PM
Author: magenta gunner

marry a beard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006596)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:34 PM
Author: henna impertinent market

Thank god i never have to deal with that nonsense

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002779)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:46 PM
Author: Talking pit

Your poasting has been pretty wild and erratic lately, maybe this is the wake up call you need.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002803)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:54 PM
Author: Painfully Honest Jet Mediation

he's doing great

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002826)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 6:28 AM
Author: primrose cracking native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005728)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:47 PM
Author: gay 180 house

Assuming it's an iphone, can you remote wipe it or some shit?

You're absolutely FUCKT if she makes you unlock it for her and there are messages on there.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002806)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:56 PM
Author: Underhanded trip plaza halford

under no circumstances can he unlock it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002833)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:57 PM
Author: stirring awkward pisswyrm lay

Yeah he’s better off remote wiping it. If she makes him open it in front of her, he may be done here, chopped and cooked.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002834)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:30 PM
Author: know-it-all sanctuary wagecucks

This works with Androids too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002926)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:47 PM
Author: kink-friendly blathering patrolman multi-billionaire

Just say "Disah no wat you tink!"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002808)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:55 PM
Author: Underhanded trip plaza halford

OP i will flood it with messages from my irl # about crypto or something if you really want just bump this and ill post a throwaway

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002829)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:33 PM
Author: know-it-all sanctuary wagecucks

Actually, just get a burner phone and start sending messages like "Bill, where are you? Why aren't you responding?"

Your wife will be confused. Explain that Bill is your friend at work who left his phone with you and you just need to return it. No, you don't have the pw, it isn't your phone. Take it to work tomorrow. Never bring it home again.

You're still fucked because she basically knows what you're up to but it gives you plausible deniability for the short term. I suggest you buy her a VERY big thing of flowers.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002932)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:12 PM
Author: primrose cracking native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50004586)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:41 PM
Author: pink swashbuckling kitty

If you have kids:

Wipe it remotely then say: “I’m trying to set this up as a dumb phone for the kids so they can play games/watch videos/take photos, so we don’t have to bring full iPads to restaurants. Can you help me set up the parental controls? It’s really complicated with trying to make sure it can run Prime video/netflix, but not allow them to download whatever they want, and to set screen time limits.” The mention of concern about screen time and content controls should put your wife into birdbrain instagram mom mode and allay any concern about your faithfulness. (I don’t cheat, but this is a common conversation in my house that devolves into a 45 minute discussion about how to lock down devices.)

If you don’t have kids:

Remote wipe and say: “I was trying to reset this to use as a camera for [hobby/recording 4th of July fireworks/etc.], but I couldn’t remember the password so I had to remote wipe it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002972)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:46 PM
Author: know-it-all sanctuary wagecucks

This assumes you have a kid that doesn't have a phone and needs one. Mine already has a phone, for example.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002987)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:55 PM
Author: Silver sound barrier theatre

text her right now telling her to leave it alone because it's the phone you use to arrange trysts with your secret lovers

throw her off balance

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003009)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:18 AM
Author: gay 180 house

Never let'em know your next move!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003853)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:57 PM
Author: lilac disrespectful weed whacker

turn it back around on her and claim the phone is hers

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003017)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 9:23 PM
Author: stirring awkward pisswyrm lay

This could actually work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003062)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 9:50 PM
Author: Fragrant mahogany piazza

Fucking love this

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003120)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 9:51 PM
Author: Painfully Honest Jet Mediation



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003126)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:05 PM
Author: beta resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003173)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:26 PM
Author: Emerald Startling Ratface Indian Lodge

darvomaxxing tp

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003228)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:31 PM
Author: balding lime garrison

Bird Brain Masterman

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003236)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 6:28 AM
Author: primrose cracking native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005727)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:26 AM
Author: Saffron Becky



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003752)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 1:04 PM
Author: learning disabled ticket booth idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50004116)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 6:52 AM
Author: Sadistic cruise ship kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005744)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:59 PM
Author: kink-friendly blathering patrolman multi-billionaire

*clears throat*

*raises hand*

haha u r fukt

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003018)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:18 AM
Author: gay 180 house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003856)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 9:56 PM
Author: boyish clown rigpig

Second phone is as fake as the "wife" conjured up by a black jewish mafia organization to defraud me btw. Good to know.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003138)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:19 PM
Author: Titillating bat-shit-crazy main people public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003209)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:24 PM
Author: Massive site

Dying for an update. Thinking positive thoughts.

It’s too late and there are better ideas above but OP could announce a drug or gambling habit. Cry. You’re sick and need help, etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003224)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:27 PM
Author: Talking pit

Need update OP

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003229)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:46 PM
Author: burgundy masturbator

Hide other phones randomly around the house and claim they're for emergencies

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003261)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 12:12 AM
Author: Massive site

Lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003400)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:11 PM
Author: Snowy parlor

Great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003308)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:30 PM
Author: internet-worthy lavender meetinghouse roommate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003328)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:34 PM
Author: Painfully Honest Jet Mediation

even in the face of senescence there are still those among us who operate at an extraordinarily high level

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003335)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:20 AM
Author: gay 180 house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003864)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:24 PM
Author: cyan stock car

thoughts & prayers, my brother. wishing for a positive update

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003321)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 12:37 AM
Author: know-it-all sanctuary wagecucks

OP is currently sleeping on the couch

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003418)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 12:48 AM
Author: Massive site

He’s lucky if it’s his own couch.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003420)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 12:59 AM
Author: Amber school cafeteria digit ratio

I reposted this on Reddit and it has 8,000 upvotes already

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003431)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 8:58 AM
Author: stirring awkward pisswyrm lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003599)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:08 AM
Author: Laughsome Area Sweet Tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003615)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 7:52 AM
Author: Crusty spruce dilemma filthpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003550)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:10 AM
Author: Laughsome Area Sweet Tailpipe

"Your bass looks amazing in those plants."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003618)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:56 AM
Author: Fragrant mahogany piazza

He's leaving us hanging just about the right amount of time. We should have an update by early afternoon if he wants to keep this on track

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003679)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:56 AM
Author: gold supple home mad-dog skullcap

Wow lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003684)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:56 AM
Author: gold supple home mad-dog skullcap

Thanks to the poas above who said unlock under no circumstances. I don’t use cloud backup so I did say I was trying to find some old info off that phone and charged it up but couldn’t remember the PIN. Luckily there were no messages that popped up on the lock screen. I guess I need to start shutting this thing off or take it with me all the time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003681)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:00 AM
Author: Fragrant mahogany piazza

Fuck those motherfuckers. They deprived us of good content by aiding and abetting this moral crime. They should be ashamed as officers of the court

That said, turn it off, but don't take it away immediately. That would be very suspicious now that her "female intuition" is engaged

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003692)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:22 AM
Author: stirring awkward pisswyrm lay

what exactly are you involved in? my suggestion would be to stop whatever it is that you're doing. this close call should serve as an eye opener.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003746)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:25 AM
Author: Fragrant mahogany piazza

You forgot to tell him to seek god

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003749)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:27 AM
Author: stirring awkward pisswyrm lay

that's up to him, but he is playing a dangerous game. you can just look at all the horseshit that i got into back in 2019/2020 if you want to see how not to live.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003753)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:43 AM
Author: Scarlet sickened hall

You got pozzed by taking tranny hooker loads while injecting heroin into ur cock and it all worked out for you. NPB can cop a lil strange no problem

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003768)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:50 AM
Author: stirring awkward pisswyrm lay

well when you put it that way

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003780)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 8:42 AM
Author: Sadistic cruise ship kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005896)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:56 AM
Author: Irradiated Fuchsia Stag Film Factory Reset Button

DESCRIBE her reaction and her mood from your explanation to present.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003793)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 3:43 PM
Author: Talking pit

WHAT would she have found if given full access?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50004413)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:17 PM
Author: Snowy parlor

She just accepted that you didn’t have the code? No interrogation?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50004604)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:17 PM
Author: gold supple home mad-dog skullcap

It was an android with the weird swipe pattern and I’ve been an iPhonemo for a while now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50004605)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:23 PM
Author: Fragrant mahogany piazza

Why leave us hanging on the details now after everyone leaped into action to help you? You owe us content

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50004621)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 8:36 PM
Author: Talking pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005117)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:58 PM
Author: cyan stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005550)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:58 PM
Author: know-it-all sanctuary wagecucks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005552)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 6:44 AM
Author: Sticky Den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005738)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 7:07 AM
Author: Talking pit

It was his poasting phone

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005748)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 7:53 AM
Author: sepia crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005817)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 8:06 AM
Author: useless base

because the whole thing is flame

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005849)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 8:20 AM
Author: Fragrant mahogany piazza

Isn't proper protocol to keep it going with "updates"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005863)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 8:41 AM
Author: Sadistic cruise ship kitty cat

Pumos love to throw cold water on everything

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005895)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:28 AM
Author: useless base

(literal blackpilled drug addict)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005960)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:54 AM
Author: stirring awkward pisswyrm lay

it's true though. you faggots claim everything is flame because you can't fathom people doing irl shit irl. you're probably the guy who called my midlife crisis/spiral flame and made up that my wife is "good at computer."

and that's another thing, you'd think you shut-in basement-dwelling nerds would be tech savvy, but you don't realize that you can use the wayback machine to find old poasts here, which is exactly what she did. so you call me out as flame for talking about that when it happened.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006008)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:58 AM
Author: Sadistic cruise ship kitty cat

Everything true I've poasted has a bunch of people crying flame, and every flame I've poasted has a bunch of poasters credulously believing it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006014)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:59 AM
Author: stirring awkward pisswyrm lay

and then there's consuela, a non-pumo, who does the same thing. apparently, according to him, if you have a drug addiction and fuck strange women and blow your life up, you're trying to be zany by making up stories on the web.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006017)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:21 AM
Author: Sadistic cruise ship kitty cat

Consuela is always the first to believe anything (and then spam it forever), which is hilarious considering he believes himself to be a genius who has figured out the secret inner workings of the world.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006076)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:10 AM
Author: primrose cracking native

we WANT to BELIEVE

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006032)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:12 AM
Author: stirring awkward pisswyrm lay

i know gunner IRL and can confirm everything he's poasted is factual. he can confirm the same about me (minus the homo encounters, i made all those up haha)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006040)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:19 AM
Author: Sadistic cruise ship kitty cat

The recent pic of me with the topless stripper who jerked my limp pizzwyrn would have been good content

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006069)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:26 AM
Author: gold supple home mad-dog skullcap

Pretty much as described, I said I charged it up to get some stuff off it but couldn’t remember whatever pattern I had. She bought it and didn’t question that it was connected to wifi and her mood doesn’t seem to be any different. Kind of an anticlimactic ending but crisis averted for now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005956)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:45 AM
Author: Fragrant mahogany piazza

People want to know more specifics about what they helped you protect, if this close call is going to make you shy away from further depravity, if you're actually emboldened instead, etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005992)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:53 AM
Author: Sadistic cruise ship kitty cat

Is she stupid? Serious question, like is she the type that would believe this and forget about it? Because if not she just doesn't want to overreact and make accusations, and is currently polling every woman she knows, maybe even Reddit, who will all tell her what's really going on, and in a few weeks you're going to be ambushed about it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006006)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2026 10:07 AM
Author: Mustard Wrinkle Boistinker

Hard-core black pill

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50008059)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:19 AM
Author: balding lime garrison

Guy who’s about to get pinned and then overrun by his wife’s flanking maneuver. She’s going to attack your life and digital footprint from every conceivable direction. There’s no way your opsec is up to snuff

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006070)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:59 AM
Author: pungent shaky corner

tell her its for your SWMFM side gig

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006018)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2026 9:56 AM
Author: Fragrant mahogany piazza

This thread was the blackpill I needed to never help a motherfucker on here again without an express promise to provide more information as thanks to his bros

We're starving for content, and it's unseemly to withhold

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50008051)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2026 10:35 AM
Author: balding lime garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50008094)