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Good writers: Fix this clunky sentence I can't seem to fix

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Chestnut Round Eye
  04/30/21
"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenge...
Stirring Khaki Yarmulke
  04/30/21
they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a ...
cracking faggotry
  04/30/21
Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, jus...
cowardly business firm
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Topaz wrinkle indirect expression
  05/02/21
Quick fixxx
Pink institution haunted graveyard
  02/25/22
“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a ...
concupiscible newt lodge
  04/30/21
...
hot stead
  04/30/21
i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts e...
Chestnut Round Eye
  04/30/21
Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main pe...
concupiscible newt lodge
  04/30/21
C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "...
Chestnut Round Eye
  04/30/21
"at this time" ROFL
Stirring Khaki Yarmulke
  04/30/21
Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually d...
cracking faggotry
  04/30/21
Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/...
concupiscible newt lodge
  04/30/21
You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be impo...
cracking faggotry
  04/30/21
While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C w...
mildly autistic ungodly blood rage selfie
  04/30/21
...
Trip talking persian
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passe...
Vivacious Space Philosopher-king
  04/30/21
This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just g...
razzle-dazzle mustard jewess
  04/30/21
...
Chestnut Round Eye
  04/30/21
...
frozen impertinent jew weed whacker
  04/30/21
...
Pearl Home
  04/30/21
...
spectacular partner
  04/30/21
Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like...
abusive principal's office
  05/04/22
As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, an...
self-centered ceo location
  04/30/21
...
puce swashbuckling affirmative action
  04/30/21
...
Purple alcoholic locale coldplay fan
  04/30/21
FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshi...
Chest-beating bearded locus
  04/30/21
...
Dark Electric Parlour Masturbator
  04/30/21
...
razzle-dazzle mustard jewess
  04/30/21
...
Primrose adventurous cuck
  04/30/21
...
Useless ape roast beef
  04/30/21
...
filthy school cafeteria
  04/30/21
...
frozen impertinent jew weed whacker
  04/30/21
...
free-loading nubile abode mental disorder
  04/30/21
...
Dark Electric Parlour Masturbator
  05/01/21
As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX ...
Dark Electric Parlour Masturbator
  04/30/21
i think you nailed it.
hot stead
  04/30/21
...
jade native coffee pot
  04/30/21
i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being perform...
hot stead
  04/30/21
...
charismatic orange preventive strike
  04/30/21
A and B passed D and C, who was driving.
Wonderful alpha
  04/30/21
...
Multi-colored Bronze Pit Hunting Ground
  04/30/21
sounds like a riddle
Stirring Khaki Yarmulke
  04/30/21
i hate this crap As A and B were driving in the X area, t...
Cordovan zombie-like windowlicker box office
  04/30/21
i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly o...
Chestnut Round Eye
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who...
Cordovan zombie-like windowlicker box office
  04/30/21
doesn't it need "D's car"
Chestnut Round Eye
  04/30/21
it says he was driving, which means an automobile. if y...
Cordovan zombie-like windowlicker box office
  04/30/21
Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was ...
cracking faggotry
  04/30/21
you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interest...
smoky embarrassed to the bone rigor quadroon
  04/30/21
Were A and B both at the wheel?
painfully honest ticket booth
  04/30/21
turns out it was a tandem bicycle.
hot stead
  04/30/21
...
Multi-colored Bronze Pit Hunting Ground
  04/30/21
As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted...
Primrose adventurous cuck
  04/30/21
The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the ot...
Fear-inspiring cruise ship love of her life
  04/30/21
star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain
Wonderful alpha
  04/30/21
still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of i...
Fear-inspiring cruise ship love of her life
  04/30/21
...
concupiscible newt lodge
  04/30/21
Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going thr...
Purple alcoholic locale coldplay fan
  04/30/21
...
puce swashbuckling affirmative action
  04/30/21
A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged...
hyperactive razzmatazz university
  04/30/21
...
magenta dead twinkling uncleanness temple
  02/22/22
So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's th...
irradiated hell
  04/30/21
400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the for...
Beta Lemon Shrine
  04/30/21
Wow
irradiated hell
  04/30/21
I just copied this from a brief.
Beta Lemon Shrine
  04/30/21
...
Useless ape roast beef
  04/30/21
Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. E...
cracking faggotry
  04/30/21
...
bipolar factory reset button house
  04/30/21
...
Talented digit ratio marketing idea
  02/22/22
...
Titillating sienna hall goyim
  06/22/22
...
Trip talking persian
  04/30/21
titcr.
Multi-colored Bronze Pit Hunting Ground
  04/30/21
180
bipolar factory reset button house
  04/30/21
...
frozen impertinent jew weed whacker
  04/30/21
...
jade native coffee pot
  04/30/21
holy shit
Talented digit ratio marketing idea
  04/30/21
attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls
frozen impertinent jew weed whacker
  04/30/21
how
Wonderful alpha
  04/30/21
...
free-loading nubile abode mental disorder
  06/22/22
...
razzle-dazzle mustard jewess
  04/30/21
...
thriller dog poop electric furnace
  04/30/21
...
godawful legend
  04/30/21
...
jade native coffee pot
  04/30/21
...
thriller dog poop electric furnace
  06/01/21
...
Talented digit ratio marketing idea
  02/22/22
this is incredible
thriller dog poop electric furnace
  02/22/22
...
Talented digit ratio marketing idea
  02/25/22
...
sexy opaque stage
  05/04/22
wow
Titillating sienna hall goyim
  06/22/22
...
bipolar factory reset button house
  06/22/22
...
Hairraiser Therapy Toilet Seat
  06/22/22
High | level | legal work
Shimmering exciting church building
  04/30/21
...
charismatic orange preventive strike
  04/30/21
Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car...
demanding high-end stag film
  04/30/21
A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as ...
Vigorous Forum Patrolman
  04/30/21
two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his ca...
ruddy lay
  04/30/21
C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook a...
massive son of senegal stage
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Sepia Contagious Nursing Home Genital Piercing
  04/30/21
Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may h...
Marvelous kitty
  04/30/21
This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more...
jade native coffee pot
  04/30/21
...
Talented digit ratio marketing idea
  04/30/21
...
razzle-dazzle mustard jewess
  04/30/21
...
Beta Lemon Shrine
  04/30/21
...
Talented digit ratio marketing idea
  02/22/22
writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I ...
bateful frisky death wish hairy legs
  04/30/21
Did you try the hydro hack?
razzle-dazzle mustard jewess
  04/30/21
What’s that
Big spruce site
  04/30/21
You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. Th...
razzle-dazzle mustard jewess
  04/30/21
...
frozen impertinent jew weed whacker
  04/30/21
Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, ...
Cruel-hearted pea-brained theater stage
  04/30/21
A and B saw C driving in X
Cruel-hearted pea-brained theater stage
  04/30/21
andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed ...
indigo splenetic set
  04/30/21
I am gay
Territorial theatre
  04/30/21
great thread
jade native coffee pot
  04/30/21
Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence. A and...
infuriating mad cow disease potus
  04/30/21
A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through ar...
smoky embarrassed to the bone rigor quadroon
  04/30/21
...
smoky embarrassed to the bone rigor quadroon
  05/02/21
...
smoky embarrassed to the bone rigor quadroon
  05/23/21
Where are we on this? Thank
razzle-dazzle mustard jewess
  05/02/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
magenta dead twinkling uncleanness temple
  02/22/22
OP, does this help?
Stirring Khaki Yarmulke
  02/25/22
i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't m...
Laughsome Chad Orchestra Pit
  06/22/22
...
Trip talking persian
  04/19/26
"and containing D as" -> "in which D was&q...
magenta dead twinkling uncleanness temple
  04/19/26
Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not...
Multi-colored Bronze Pit Hunting Ground
  04/19/26
...
Trip talking persian
  04/19/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:48 AM
Author: Chestnut Round Eye

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376133)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:57 AM
Author: Stirring Khaki Yarmulke

"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenger, by both A and B."

(no one gives a fuck whether A and B were driving or doing a standing 69 at the time they saw these faggots)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376836)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: cracking faggotry

they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a role potentially. Better to keep it clean.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376873)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:10 PM
Author: cowardly business firm

Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, just that they passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377665)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:40 PM
Author: Topaz wrinkle indirect expression

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42386999)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:42 PM
Author: Pink institution haunted graveyard
Subject: Quick fixxx

As A and B were driving in X, they passed a car driven by C containing D as a passenger.

EDIT: LMAO at the date

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44032731)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:52 AM
Author: concupiscible newt lodge

“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C. D was a passenger in C’s car at the time.”

Would break up the sentences. Your original sentence isn’t terrible though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376145)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:53 AM
Author: hot stead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376148)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Chestnut Round Eye

i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts emphasis on "D was a passenger in C’s car at this time" -- which is a minor detail.

it doesn't really matter whether C or D is the driver.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376159)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:56 AM
Author: concupiscible newt lodge

Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main person.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376166)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: Chestnut Round Eye

C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "C's car" for clarity

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376201)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:51 AM
Author: Stirring Khaki Yarmulke

"at this time"

ROFL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376807)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:54 AM
Author: cracking faggotry

Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually driving. Or were they in two separate cars, both of which passed C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376155)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: concupiscible newt lodge

Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/c I didn’t know what the surrounding sentences are like.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376160)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:04 AM
Author: cracking faggotry

You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be important to be clear who was driving in the passing car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: mildly autistic ungodly blood rage selfie

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C was driving with a passenger, D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376157)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:57 AM
Author: Trip talking persian



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376168)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:58 AM
Author: Vivacious Space Philosopher-king

As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle mustard jewess

This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just generally to give you the right idea on how to handle this sort of thing, please develop as part of an exercise in your own development as a lawyer. Really need to break this into clauses that explain everything.

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

WHEREAS A, B, C, and D are human persons domiciled in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS X is a certain area in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS A, B, and C are legally authorized to operate motor vehicles ("cars" and each individual such vehicle a "car")

WHEREAS on that certain date, A, B, and C were operating cars.

WHEREAS on that certain date, D was a passenger in the car operated by C.

Now, therefore be it resolved, on that certain date, the aforementioned cars traversed on intersecting paths in Area X.

[I assume by "passed" you mean "passed" as in "they passed by each other while headed in different directions," revise if you mean they were going the same way and A/B's cars passed/overtook C's car.]

Please handle and recirculate, thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: Chestnut Round Eye



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376203)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: frozen impertinent jew weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376392)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:08 AM
Author: Pearl Home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376526)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:25 AM
Author: spectacular partner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:40 PM
Author: abusive principal's office

Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44453959)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: self-centered ceo location

As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, and although none of them said a word, they understood each other perfectly. It was X area after all. Are there any Xs around, they wondered? They passed a beaten-up vehicle with ridiculous oversized chromed wheels with C as a driver and D as a passenger. X's! - thought A and B. C and D did not think anything. They were high.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376178)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:36 AM
Author: puce swashbuckling affirmative action



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376332)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Purple alcoholic locale coldplay fan



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376340)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Chest-beating bearded locus

FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshit car alone(some other NIFmGGA was drivomg alone in another car) they passed ALPHA TURD C , who has MANY DRINKING BUDDIES, SO NATURALLY HAD A PASSENGER (most likely an AZNgirl getting wet for MAMMOTH TURDCOCK)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376183)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Dark Electric Parlour Masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376187)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle mustard jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376195)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: Primrose adventurous cuck



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376249)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: Useless ape roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376406)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:36 AM
Author: filthy school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376713)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:37 AM
Author: frozen impertinent jew weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376724)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:32 PM
Author: free-loading nubile abode mental disorder



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377057)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2021 12:19 AM
Author: Dark Electric Parlour Masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42380818)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Dark Electric Parlour Masturbator

As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX area, C drove by with D cumming in his ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376184)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: hot stead

i think you nailed it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376191)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: jade native coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42378174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: hot stead

i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being performed right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376189)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: charismatic orange preventive strike



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376669)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Wonderful alpha

A and B passed D and C, who was driving.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376194)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Multi-colored Bronze Pit Hunting Ground



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376341)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:52 AM
Author: Stirring Khaki Yarmulke

sounds like a riddle

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376816)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Cordovan zombie-like windowlicker box office

i hate this crap

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D driving with C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376197)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: Chestnut Round Eye

i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376206)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: Cordovan zombie-like windowlicker box office

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who was driving with C).

This is it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376211)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:07 AM
Author: Chestnut Round Eye

doesn't it need "D's car"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376216)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:42 AM
Author: Cordovan zombie-like windowlicker box office

it says he was driving, which means an automobile.

if you think specifying what kind of automobile is a key detail then can add that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376370)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: cracking faggotry

Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was driving. Ever. If he wasnt.

As A was driving, they passed ...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376208)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: smoky embarrassed to the bone rigor quadroon

you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interested.

"Where did this take place? In X. And what happened in X? A and B were together in a car. And what did that car do? Why it passed by another car, a car driven by C. And was C alone in that second car? No, no C was not. C was with D. That's right. A and B passed C and D. It's all true."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376212)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:08 AM
Author: painfully honest ticket booth

Were A and B both at the wheel?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376217)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:13 AM
Author: hot stead

turns out it was a tandem bicycle.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376233)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:20 AM
Author: Multi-colored Bronze Pit Hunting Ground



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376607)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: Primrose adventurous cuck

As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted area, they passed a car driven by a nigger and containing some other faggot as a passenger. Regards, I hope this helps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376246)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:26 AM
Author: Fear-inspiring cruise ship love of her life

The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the other, C was driving D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376290)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:29 AM
Author: Wonderful alpha

star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376306)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:31 AM
Author: Fear-inspiring cruise ship love of her life

still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of items to hit: location, two cars, who was each driver and who was each passenger, that they passed.

This does it and leaves no uncertainty at all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376317)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:34 AM
Author: concupiscible newt lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376330)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:35 AM
Author: Purple alcoholic locale coldplay fan

Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going through section X. *makes large "X" using forearms* And boom! Right there, they pass car C. *makes "C" using hand* A car which, at the time, was containing D *unzips pants* as a passenger. *pulls cock out of fly* Any questions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376331)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: puce swashbuckling affirmative action



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376336)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:40 AM
Author: hyperactive razzmatazz university

A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged in that most fanciful of modern hobbies, navigation of modern paved roads in a device propelled by an internal combustion engine, whence, they happened to pass by and through the X area. It was delightful that time of year and a welcome respite from their usual tiresome surroundings. And, as fate or chance, or even perhaps the Muses had it, another fellow engaged in the very same hobby happened by. Of course, known to them, and combustion engine navigators the State over, twas C along with D. Both were fair fellows and known to A and B. As custom would insist they happened both to notice and acknowledge each other, hobbyists in the same pursuit as they were.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376358)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:09 AM
Author: magenta dead twinkling uncleanness temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44008930)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: irradiated hell

So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's the thing: they were in X area, and what's problematic is they passed by C—yes, THAT C. C had a passenger at the time, D. Here's why that's not okay.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376389)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: Beta Lemon Shrine

400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the force of the acceleration pressing him against the sport bucket seats of his Turbo Allegra Mk. 2, their soft, well-sourced alcantara cosseting his tightly leather chapped legs, the micromechanical motors within instantaneously adjusting to each minor perturbation in the vehicle's three-axis orientation to keep him perfectly balanced, its SWIFT systems scanning kilometers ahead of them in real-time and predictively modulating the various electromagnetic and anti-kinetic shielding systems in order to protect their passage as they rocketed upward toward the gateway to area X--area X, the Sacred Seat of Cybernetic Heaven, its secrets whispering to the hovels of his birthplace below, beckoning brave boys with the Siren Song: "Come, Unlock Our Treasurehosue of Wonder or Die Trying"; "It's a goddamn marvel--" that was B, his copilot jockey, in the seat beside him--he'd always liked the tech stuff, engineered things were his jig and jive and the natural knack he'd expressed for them had been evident since his Fourth Year when he'd spontaneously programmed a molecular excavator during off time while the rest of the class was at the playground; he and B had been practicing for this for over three years, secretive sessions when the sensor rings slipped from alignment every third week on Sunday for maintena--"we have a fucking BOGEY at 3 o'clock HIGH!" B screamed, interrupting his meditation on the past--the systems of the Allegra were fast, but B was faster and he'd spotted the incoming a split second before the computerized indication of the same: "Warning, SWIFT has detected an intrusion in the third--" he cut off the computer; he knew what he needed to know: C was moving to intercept them in his Outrigger, accompanied by D; they'd planned for this eventuality, both the conflict itself and the psychology of facing your own brother and cousin 45 kilometers up in the air, each precise maneuver tiptoeing on the razor thin edge between life and death, a minute miscalculation capable of throwing you off the wrong side into a fiery midair death--there was something poignant about it, the notion that he could die up here in an instant and to his friends and family in the warrens of Bressville below, toiling through their daily tasks with no comprehension of the enormous aerial pageantry above them, his life could blot out with no greater signifier than a vanishing spot of light in the sky; he banished the thought of this and other things as he shouted in the cockpit "let's smoke these fuckers" and pushed down hard on the throttle, the frame of the Allegra bending, straining, complying with the command as they soared to meet the enemy head on, he and B laughing aloud at the thrill of it all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376393)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: irradiated hell

Wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376411)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: Beta Lemon Shrine

I just copied this from a brief.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376419)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:15 AM
Author: Useless ape roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376574)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:54 AM
Author: cracking faggotry

Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. Every time, I explain that "It's just lawyers--we get bored at work--yeah, I know, that's what makes it funny--"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376824)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:21 PM
Author: bipolar factory reset button house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377415)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: Talented digit ratio marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44008886)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: Titillating sienna hall goyim



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44722509)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:51 AM
Author: Trip talking persian



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376432)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: Multi-colored Bronze Pit Hunting Ground

titcr.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376504)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:10 AM
Author: bipolar factory reset button house

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376531)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:18 AM
Author: frozen impertinent jew weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376589)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:23 AM
Author: jade native coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376641)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Talented digit ratio marketing idea

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376648)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: frozen impertinent jew weed whacker

attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376708)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:13 PM
Author: Wonderful alpha

how

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377366)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:36 AM
Author: free-loading nubile abode mental disorder



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44722527)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:35 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle mustard jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376711)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:00 PM
Author: thriller dog poop electric furnace



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376866)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: godawful legend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376872)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: jade native coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42378128)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 1st, 2021 9:20 PM
Author: thriller dog poop electric furnace



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42558237)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: Talented digit ratio marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44008882)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: thriller dog poop electric furnace

this is incredible

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44008910)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:39 PM
Author: Talented digit ratio marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44032706)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:31 PM
Author: sexy opaque stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44453902)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:31 AM
Author: Titillating sienna hall goyim

wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44722507)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:34 AM
Author: bipolar factory reset button house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44722517)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:44 AM
Author: Hairraiser Therapy Toilet Seat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44722548)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: Shimmering exciting church building

High | level | legal work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376422)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: charismatic orange preventive strike



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376672)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:55 AM
Author: demanding high-end stag film

Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car driven by C with D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376456)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: Vigorous Forum Patrolman

A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as a passenger, as they drove through the X area.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376505)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:07 AM
Author: ruddy lay

two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376517)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:13 AM
Author: massive son of senegal stage

C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook and passed them. B overtook and passed them too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376555)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:19 AM
Author: Sepia Contagious Nursing Home Genital Piercing

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C, which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376600)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Marvelous kitty

Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may have made the same suggestion, but I’d go with:

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car containing C (driver) and D (passenger).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376651)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:27 AM
Author: jade native coffee pot

This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more concise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376665)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Talented digit ratio marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle mustard jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376736)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:08 PM
Author: Beta Lemon Shrine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377648)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:01 AM
Author: Talented digit ratio marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44008887)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: bateful frisky death wish hairy legs

writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I recently jumped from GOV to tech

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376695)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle mustard jewess

Did you try the hydro hack?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376699)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: Big spruce site

What’s that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376738)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:41 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle mustard jewess

You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. This will, among other things, improve cognitive function and therefore improve your writing. While you're at it also check your posture I bet you're slouching right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376746)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:49 AM
Author: frozen impertinent jew weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376800)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:17 PM
Author: Cruel-hearted pea-brained theater stage

Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, subject verb object. Not hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377389)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:16 PM
Author: Cruel-hearted pea-brained theater stage

A and B saw C driving in X

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377381)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:28 PM
Author: indigo splenetic set

andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed carl and dave in their car.

this doesn't define who is driving and who is riding though.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377449)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:38 PM
Author: Territorial theatre

I am gay

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377484)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: jade native coffee pot

great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42378176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:39 PM
Author: infuriating mad cow disease potus

Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence.

A and B were driving in the X area. [query: are they both driving separate cars?] C driving D passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42378186)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 8:29 PM
Author: smoky embarrassed to the bone rigor quadroon

A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through area X, and with them were B and D, passengers; B was with A while D was with C; A and B passed by C and D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42379691)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:50 PM
Author: smoky embarrassed to the bone rigor quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42387061)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 23rd, 2021 3:44 PM
Author: smoky embarrassed to the bone rigor quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42509184)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:36 PM
Author: razzle-dazzle mustard jewess

Where are we on this? Thank

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42386977)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:06 AM
Author: magenta dead twinkling uncleanness temple

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C in which D was a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44008916)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:44 PM
Author: Stirring Khaki Yarmulke

OP, does this help?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44032743)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: Laughsome Chad Orchestra Pit

i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't matter. aren't state court judges borderline retarded?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44722512)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:23 PM
Author: Trip talking persian



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#49827186)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:42 PM
Author: magenta dead twinkling uncleanness temple

"and containing D as" -> "in which D was", otherwise fine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#49827205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 1:15 PM
Author: Multi-colored Bronze Pit Hunting Ground

Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not sure we’ve got it figured out just yet. Let’s put a pin in it and move on. OP: what’s the next sentence?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#49827228)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 2:57 PM
Author: Trip talking persian



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#49827363)