Every night, she raids the backroom “donation bin” like it’s a VIP lounge. Tonight, I caught her ripping into a box of expired cupcakes. She sneered: “Legally, I’m rescuing food waste, friend. You want it to rot?” Then she shoved two stale croissants in her purse for “later.”

When I reported this to HR, Tabitha just chuckled. “Keisha’s technically reducing waste. Maybe you should learn from her eco-conscious lifestyle, you prissy faggot.”

By the time I got back to the floor, Keisha had set up a makeshift picnic near the bakery section, munching on slightly moldy bread and washing it down with a dented can of LaCroix. Customers recoiled as she loudly declared, “This is perfectly good! Y’all need to open your minds.”

Ended the shift scrubbing frosting off the self-checkout screens, whispered, “Yes, friend. This is fine.”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630907&forum_id=2#48315102)