In the land of XO, a new law requiring diversity among senior partners of all law firms has been passed. Anderssen, Gunner & Mainlining LLP with their 1488 senior partners, all white and male, must now find a diverse candidate to join their ranks, or else must merge with competing firm EPAH, Obeezy & Rudolph LLP.

The opera starts with the chorus. All 1488 senior partners sing of their 23andme results. They are all white, male and can proudly trace their lineage back to the Mayflower.

We are the proud 1488 partners of AGM

All lower races and classes we shun

We're prestige whores and have fancy degrees

and will ignore you, if you do not have one.

And it's very very funny

when you're tall and broad and chadly

to be terrible to those who are done!

to be terrible to those who are done!

Everyone here is a senior partner,

with lowly associates we won't confer!

But we'll delegate

and will make them wait

'cause we go back to the Mayflower!

And it's rather fun and snazzy

to be toxic, mean, and crappy

to those who are not in power!

to those who are not in power!

Benzo and RSF stop by the main office of AGM to inform them of the new law. They are of counsel at EPAH, Obeezy & Rudolph, and tell them of their intent to buy the firm out, should they fail to comply with the new diversity requirement. This causes panic at the firm. The senior partners meet to discuss. HVAC (baritone) says he has been with countless ethnic women, and starts his aria "Fold your flapping legs".

(Fold your flapping wings, removed aria from Iolanthe)

My application has been read a second time

Their ready text no agency now refuses;

In verity I wield a key fob sublime,

And one that I can turn to subtle uses!

What joy to carry, in the very teeth

Of inquiry, solicitation and prostitution,

Some rather urgent measures quite beneath

The covers--- uncovered penetration!

----

Fold your flapping legs,

Soaring Korean spinner!

Stoop to little things

Stoop to human nature!

Never need to roam,

Sex ex-patriotic

Let's begin at home,

Asians are exotic!

Bitter is your frown

Service is a must,

Dingy Koreatown!

Filthy Plano, Texas!

----

Take a wanton broad

Gathered from Korea

Hustle her abroad

Stick her in a Ramada

What am I but she,

Washed at hours stated

Fed on filagree

Clothed and educated?

She's a mark of porn

I might be another

If I had been born

Of an asian mother.

----

Take a wretched whore

Through the city fucking

"Baby, cum see me more"

Ever, ever sucking.

What is she but I

Robbed of all my chances

Fucking handsome by

Force of circumstances

I might be as bad

As unlucky, rather,

If I only had

A chink for a father!

Anderssen, Gunner and Mainlining, resigned to their fates, now sing a trio in rounds "To search in solemn silence for a big black cock". (work in progress)

After this, they decide their new director of diversity, To Be Fair, should be entrusted with the task of recruiting a single diversity hire to save their firm.

Here is where To Be Fair sings the patter song detailing his rise up the corporate ladder.

(Sir Joseph Porter's Song, HMS Pinafore)

When I was a lad, I served a term

as office boy to an attorney's firm

I treated the women with deference and respect

and I smiled at the secretaries with no mal-intent

I hid my sexism so carefully

that now I am the Director of Diversity!

Chorus: He hid his sexism so carefully

that now he is the Director of Diversity!

TBF: As office boy I made such a mark

that they gave me the post of a junior clerk.

I behaved myself as a white boy so bland

I gave minority interns a big helping hand.

I hid my low expectations soft bigotry

that now I am the Director of Diversity!

Chorus: He hid his low expectations soft bigotry

that now he is the Director of Diversity!

TBF: In serving writs I made such a name

That an articled clerk I soon became

I wore clean shirts and Armani

and carried around "White Fragility"

That panderin' prop piece did so well for me,

That now I am the Director of Diversity!

Chorus: That panderin' prop piece did so well for he,

That now he is the Director of Diversity!

TBF: Of legal knowledge I acquired such a grip

That they took me into the partnership.

And that equity partnership, I purport,

Is the only Equity that I ever would support!

But that sort of equity suited me,

That now I am the Director of Diversity!

Chorus: That sort of equity suited he,

That now he is the Director of Diversity!

TBF: I grew so rich that I became privy

To the Senate Judiciary Committee

I influenced their decisions at my Party's call

I never thought of thinking for myself at all.

I thought so little, they rewarded me

By making me the Director of Diversity!

Chorus: He thought so little, they rewarded he

by making him the Director of Diversity!

TBF: Now attorneys all, whoever you may be,

If you want to rise to the top of the tree,

Sell your soul to become a corporate tool,

And be careful to be guided by this golden rule.

Always spurn merit and support D.I.E,

And you all may be Directors of Diversity!

The meeting is concluded and TBF returns to his office and begins reviewing job applications. With the door closed, To be fair starts singing about his struggle

(I've got a little list, Mikado)

TBF: As some day it may happen that a token must be hired

I've got a little list — I've got a little list

Of society's offenders, who never could be fired

As HR would insist, as HR would insist!

There's the soy white lib who praises, with enthusiastic tone

All races but his, and every country but his own;

The wise latina who sits upon the highest court in the land

but the difference between state and fed, she doesn't understand

The ethical non-mog and the polyamorist,

Oh, HR would insist! Oh, HR would insist!

Chorus: He's got 'em on the list — he's got 'em on the list;

And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed

TBF: There's the nigger serenader, and the others of his race

And the catamite-pederast — I've got them on the list!

And the uppity Shaniqua, who doesn't know her place

Yes, HR would insist! Yes, HR would insist.

Then that TTT Hastings grad who was polling at one percent

but is now one heartbeat away from becoming President.

And the guy from the Jeopardy, who dresses like a chick

or the tranny UPenn swimmer, who exposes teammates to her dick

And that singular anomaly, the jewish legalist —

I don't think he'd be missed — I'm sure he'd not be missed!

Chorus: He's got him on the list — he's got him on the list;

And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed

TBF: The attention whores, who gyrate on TikTok

All antiwork socialists -- I've got them on the list

The now prudish catholic girl after riding miles of cock

Oh, HR can't resist. Oh, HR can't resist.

And asian tinder 5's who all say they denounce white supremacy

but fucks her handsome who calls her 'my general tso pussy'

The NOWAGS and the NOWIGs who chose to self-exile

but quickly find out that the third world's rather vile

But it really doesn't matter who you put upon the list

As HR will assist, as HR will assist.

Chorus: Even though they're not on the list, though they're not on the list.

We're sure HR will insist, HR will insist

Interviews for the new position now start to take place. One by one, groups of poasters come in and interview, singing their song before being brushed away by TBF.

(Three little maids, The Mikado)

Evan39, Septic Queer, Gay Grandpa:

Three little queers from school are we!

Pert little schoolboys, can't you see

Filled to the brim with boyish glee

Three little fags are we!

----

(We are Siamese, Lady and the Tramp)

Pumo MFH NOWAG and Wangfei:

We are Taiwanese, if you please

We are Taiwanese, if you don't please

Betas, cucks and SIMPs we eschew

Dating's hard when there's only asian shrews.

----

(The sun whose rays, The Mikado)

GJR: Pierre LaFlame

I am to blame

for my deep sorrow,

I cannot deny

my dear Mike Fart

won't be there 'morrow.

He won't respond

I thought our bond

was fiery resplendent.

But doubts in mind,

my flat behind

has me now despondent.

I mean to rule the earth,

As he the sky

We really know our worth,

BP and I!

----

(I've jibe and joke, Yeoman of the Guard)

Beebee: I lie and cheat,

And tweet and squeal.

But Harvard Law school,

Won't cut me a deal!

After a long day of interviews, a dejected TBF leaves the office. On the way out, he bumps into the junior partner Esoteric Sambo. After hearing of TBF's dilemma, Esoteric Sambo mentions if only one of them could become a minority overnight, that would solve things immediately. ES then offers the following idea: he can pose as a blind transsexual, thereby satisfying their diversity quota.

Esoteric Sambo and To Be Fair break out in song. ES sings in falsetto.

(Things are seldom what they seem, HMS Pinafore)

ES: Things are seldom what they seem

Peaceful protests called violent schemes

Bugs and insects pass as meat

Quitting halfway's now a feat.

TBF: Very true, so they do.

ES: Black men found on every show

Misinformation's all we know,

Cook found out to be a fraud,

Experts asked, they hemmed and hawed.

TBF: So they be, frequently.

ES: Filibuster on Capitol Hill,

Undemocratic says the shill.

Print more money if you will,

Yet there is inflation still.

TBF: Yes, I know. That is so.

Though to catch the plan by which you're swearing,

that will work? that will work;

I don't see what you are wearing,

Is that a skirt? that a skirt?

Both:Truth's conviction's o'er me/him unveiling,

That's the blind lady's dealing

In oracular revealing.

TBF: Yes, I know?

ES: That is so!

TBF: Though I'm think they're rather clever,

I will hate the jews forever:

Once a Goldberg undermined,

Racism now redefined.

ES: Very true, that I knew.

TBF: Blowjobs do not count as sex

That's just frosting on that dress

Epstein did not kill himself

Unrealized gains isn't wealth

ES: Frequently, I agree.

TBF: Dating apps and all their patches

Swipe away your tranny matches

Only count the chicks with snatches

Not the man whose penis unattaches.

ES: Yes, I know, That is so.

Though to catch my drift he's striving,

I'll dissemble? I'll dissemble;

When he sees me drunk while I'm driving,

Let him tremble? let him tremble!

Both: Tho' a mystic tone I/you borrow,

He will/I shall learn the truth with sorrow;

Here today and gone tomorrow.

TBF: Yes, I know.

ES: That is so!

All is now well at AGM.

Days later, an incredulous EPAH stops by AGM to take a look at this new diversity hire.

(King Gamma's Song, Princess Ida)

EPAH: If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am,

a prestigious attorney, all other kinds are sham,

each moment of weakness and each substance addict,

like my erring ex-wife, whose movements I restrict,

To everybody's politics I know a thing or two

I can tell a tranny's sex in half a minute-- and I do!

But although I try to make myself as pleasant as I can

Yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man!

And I can't think why!

Suspecting fraud, EPAH has brought a busty KamalaSexy with him. Catching Esoteric Sambo sneaking a look at her tits now gives him the evidence to expose the fraud at AGM. The paperwork is drafted for AGM to be bought out, when all of a sudden, a sweaty TSINAH runs into the office.

TSINAH: Stop! My crime I must confess.

When I was poor, in deep debt and a mess,

When my clients did not pay up their fee,

I had to moonlight as an engineer at 23andme!

The test results, they trusted to my care,

All alike, pale skin, blue eyes, blonde hair.

But one I knew would be a no go,

It was none other, than Esoteric Sambo!

TSINAH reveals that Esoteric Sambo's 23andme had been altered, and he is in fact 1/1024 Cherokee. This now is enough to satisfy the XO diversity criterion, and Anderssen, Gunner & Mainlining are saved. TSINAH, for telling this lie is demoted to junior partner. With Esoteric Sambo, AGM is back up to 1488 senior partners. Everyone joins hands and sings a grand old chorus. The curtain falls.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5010790&forum_id=2#43807024)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5010790&forum_id=2#43832363)

amusing "There's the nigger serenader, and the others of his race" are the original lyrics.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5010790&forum_id=2#43875254)

Still need a few more stanzas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKvEc_xAD4U

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5010790&forum_id=2#43912364)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5010790&forum_id=2#44056254)

Best thing I've read in a long time

We need a new Monty Python for 2022.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5010790&forum_id=2#44067677)

Pretty happy with my casting TBF as the Director of Diversity here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5010790&forum_id=2#44070828)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCUIvwj93B8

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5010790&forum_id=2#44094195)

Here it is

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5010790&forum_id=2#44537850)

https://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5254892&mc=702&forum_id=2#45649354

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5010790&forum_id=2#45653695)