as someone who was insulated from dating for the entire span of app dating by being happily married and has now been THRUST into it against my will by an Act of God, it's like I crawled out of a nuclear bunker into a wasteland. it's awful.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721362)

What happened, pumo?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721380)

my wife died

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721506)

i had a similar journey. married first gf ---> divorce ---> in 30s learning to "date" for the first time

but that was all precovid and i'm sure things are even more fucked up now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721594)

if you are now being forced to be 'out there' again, meet people organically, not on-line. Satan runs on-line dating, hth

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721656)

a lot of present-day criticism of women is exaggerated but this really is true and there's no way "around it" or way to "fix it." the genie is out of the bottle and it can't be put back in again

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721372)

modernity re-created them as interchangeable equals with males, and males grew up being taught this and believed what they were taught. now they've figured out that this isn't true and have adjusted accordingly

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721406)

future generations may be thankful we experimented with this shit so they know not to make the same mistakes

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721417)

there's lots of Real Scholarship about this stuff but people just want to Cope instead with their various self-serving Copes

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721442)

good luck out there, Champ. being sincere and not sarcastic btw

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721596)

try not to get jaded. thats the ultimate source of all this. its hard to be hopeful when appdating has commodified love, and so many people treat others like a fungible product they can pick up and dispose of like everything else in todays world.

ive known many that wound up very happy because they stayed positive. shit sucks but if you let that change you you become part of why it sucks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721382)

ADDENDUM: The above applies to app dates and is how I eventually had numerous options to pick from and got married again. If I were single right now, I probably would not be going through the app process at all. I would be trying to meet someone through church. Scan crowd and look for women sitting alone in consecutive weeks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721612)

i feel the exact same way as you about the women. many guys quickly become resentful and start hating them. but theyve been led to this primarily by men. keep your chin up, ime people like you find happiness quickly whereas the blackpillers are a self-fulfilling prophesy of misery.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721632)

I still get similar amounts of "matches," but the % that I am able to meet for an actual date has plummeted and the attention I get from them when we do match has decreased. Sure, I am older etc, maybe that plays into it, but I suspect that the overall culture of this stuff has been ruined and people are figuring this fact out.

If I match with what seems like a genuinely good girl, not piece of shit tramp, etc, I like to talk to them on the phone first and then met them for a date after - I used to get dates 100% of the time with this, and I think it helped them be more comfortable on the first date. But recently a bunch of girls that I had perfectly "fine" phone calls with found excuses to not meet up and ghost. Maybe I have aspergers that I didn't know about, but I tend to get along well with people IRL, including women.

I just got ghosted a couple days ago by a girl that I got along with very well on our date last week - like no indication at all that it went anywhere but positive, etc etc and she just peaced out.

I get the impression from lots of women (both that I meet on these apps, and the tons of single female friends that I know) that they are sick of this whole thing too, and don't really put a lot of faith into it anymore. So the earnest morons like me, who do try to go into dates with good intent, get fucked hard because the women just don't give a fuck anymore and treat all of the guys as disposable turds.

I mean, it was always bad out there, but it is currently the worst I have experienced, you literally can't trust that you will see the person again even after a really good date, kiss, etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721583)

>>>I just got ghosted a couple days ago by a girl that I got along with very well on our date last week - like no indication at all that it went anywhere but positive, etc etc and she just peaced out.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you didn't make any kind of real move on her and she "didn't feel a spark." Maybe she didn't say that to you, but "didn't feel a spark" is what she's telling her friends

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721650)

Unfortunately, a lot of girls that I know openly admit that if they don't have a "fiery attraction" on the first date, they won't go on a second. That "fiery attraction" is kinda hard to generate when you go from zero about knowing someone - also why I like to call them before i go out with them.

Also there is that pesky "Are we dating the same guy" facebook group where girls post dudes and get the tea and bash the hell out of that behavior

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721813)

>>> I'm a chill dude and frankly just want to get to know that person better on a first date

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT WOMEN DO NOT WANT A "GETTING TO KNOW YOU BETTER" DATE? THE BAR YOU NEED TO CLEAR TO KEEP THEIR INTEREST IN MODERN APP DATING IS HIGHER THAN THAT.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721919)

he is either the best flame this board has ever had or the biggest beta pussy coward this board has ever had

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721963)

doodikoff problem seems to be, in part, that he thinks women are nervous lambs and that kissing them (ljl) is presumptuous and aggressive.

the reality is that women, especially the age range doodikoff is dating, want confidence and a little aggression. and they have no problem doing a cheek turn or something if a guy misreads signs and goes for a kiss anyway. but they will 100% dingfag you if you *DONT* go for it.

cant tell you how many shitlib women that have brutally, brutally mocked dates for doing stuff like asking "can i kiss you?" these are the same women that are outwardly the biggest proponents of verbal consent.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49722237)

My goal (once I actually knew wtf I was doing), was just to get these bitches back to my place or theirs. The logistics of the date are set up to where it's not a big ask and seems like a natural progression. Whether a kiss occurred prior to that is pretty irrelevant. You're putting yourself in an environment where it's way easier to get the first kiss, things are likely to progress way further than that (far enough to where they actually have some buy-in and are guaranteed to keep seeing you), and 90% of the chicks who aren't interested have already been screened out because they said no (allowing one to operate with more confidence).

Doodikoff's problems are not going to be solved by awkwardly going in for kisses when the date hasn't been calibrated for that to occur.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49722286)

the overarching issue from his poast is that he has this (frankly misogynistic if im being an absolute faggot) conception that women are fragile and want some white knight fag. what they want is someone who is assertive and confident. i suspect if doodikoff thinks kissing is too agro he's coming off as lacking confidence. the pre-date phone call is also an example.

if he treated them respectfully like adult women he wouldn't treat them like children. i think doodikoff isn't a beta pussy but just has a poor idea of what women want. his heart is probably in the right place, and i don't think he lacks nerve, its that what he thinks is disrespectful or uncomfortable for women is actually what thry want from the right guy.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49722446)

(wait, isn't that a bad thing? well how do i say the exact same thing without getting made fun of?)

"im a CHILL DUDE..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49722217)

the phone call shit is one example. ive mentioned this before. stop doing that.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721662)

i don't feel sorry for you at all and frankly you "deserve it" as much as anyone can

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721668)

Why no kids?

Are you terrified of falling in love? That the dating world is a wasteland in current year doesn't mean you should be terrified of falling it love, even if it might make it unlikely or difficult.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721657)

-she is newly dating after a history of LTRs

-somehow has no dating prospects in her social circle

-she hasn't been on the app long enough to get P&D or become jaded

-you outcompete the chads who wanted to P&D her

-You get to her before she gets fed up with the app and deletes it

It can be done, but it takes a lot of volume and effort over a period of potentially years for everything to line up just right

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721844)

Do you think those walls will come down--just a little slower than they might have in the past? Or are we so completely done here that the walls aren't coming down at all any more?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49721883)

it's dangerous out there

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2#49722501)