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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
talking floppy home
  12/03/18
...
talking floppy home
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
carmine sex offender community account
  12/03/18
ty!
talking floppy home
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
slap-happy hairless trailer park
  12/03/18
...
Scarlet concupiscible coldplay fan center
  12/24/21
...
milky milk generalized bond
  12/03/18
...
appetizing salmon temple round eye
  12/03/18
...
jet-lagged aromatic scourge upon the earth mad-dog skullcap
  12/03/18
...
racy roast beef property
  12/03/18
...
slap-happy hairless trailer park
  12/03/18
...
talking floppy home
  12/07/18
...
shaky irradiated prole
  12/07/18
...
Mentally impaired impertinent mad cow disease
  12/07/18
...
Lavender space headpube
  12/07/18
...
Unholy marketing idea immigrant
  12/07/18
...
talking floppy home
  12/14/18
...
umber double fault
  12/14/18
...
talking floppy home
  12/24/18
...
milky milk generalized bond
  12/24/18
...
Jade dysfunction
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Very Tactful Native Persian
  12/24/18
120
Henna offensive tank
  12/24/18
...
talking floppy home
  12/24/18
...
Henna offensive tank
  12/24/18
...
Aphrodisiac Skinny Woman Gas Station
  12/24/18
...
talking floppy home
  12/24/18
...
comical lime rigpig bawdyhouse
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Bonkers exhilarant giraffe
  12/24/18
...
talking floppy home
  12/16/21
...
talented range
  12/24/18
...
confused harsh school cafeteria boiling water
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Excitant tan lettuce
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
talking floppy home
  07/01/19
...
milky milk generalized bond
  07/01/19
...
milky milk generalized bond
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
talking floppy home
  12/10/19
getting close...
talking floppy home
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
talking floppy home
  12/24/19
...
diverse cream senate pisswyrm
  12/24/19
...
talking floppy home
  12/24/19
...
Mauve fantasy-prone preventive strike
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Judgmental Unhinged Azn
  12/24/19
...
abusive point
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Bonkers exhilarant giraffe
  12/24/19
lol
talking floppy home
  12/24/19
This
Scarlet concupiscible coldplay fan center
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Azure angry sweet tailpipe
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
talking floppy home
  12/24/19
...
Submissive Legal Warrant
  12/24/19
...
talking floppy home
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
talking floppy home
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Scarlet concupiscible coldplay fan center
  12/24/19
...
talking floppy home
  12/24/19
...
Free-loading site knife
  12/24/19
...
talking floppy home
  12/15/20
...
talking floppy home
  12/23/20
...
shimmering church building
  12/24/20
It's time.
talking floppy home
  12/24/20
...
Mentally impaired impertinent mad cow disease
  12/24/20
...
talking floppy home
  12/16/21
...
Aphrodisiac Skinny Woman Gas Station
  12/16/21
...
shimmering church building
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
talking floppy home
  12/20/21
Lmao
Thriller Cordovan Step-uncle's House Idiot
  12/20/21
...
talking floppy home
  12/22/21
...
Thriller Cordovan Step-uncle's House Idiot
  12/22/21
...
Iridescent Hospital
  12/24/21
...
Scarlet concupiscible coldplay fan center
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: talking floppy home

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: talking floppy home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: carmine sex offender community account

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: talking floppy home

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: slap-happy hairless trailer park

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Scarlet concupiscible coldplay fan center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: milky milk generalized bond



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: appetizing salmon temple round eye



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: jet-lagged aromatic scourge upon the earth mad-dog skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: racy roast beef property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: slap-happy hairless trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: talking floppy home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: shaky irradiated prole



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Mentally impaired impertinent mad cow disease



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Lavender space headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Unholy marketing idea immigrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: talking floppy home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: umber double fault



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: talking floppy home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: milky milk generalized bond



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Jade dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Very Tactful Native Persian

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Henna offensive tank

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: talking floppy home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Henna offensive tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Aphrodisiac Skinny Woman Gas Station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: talking floppy home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: comical lime rigpig bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Bonkers exhilarant giraffe

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: talking floppy home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: talented range



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: confused harsh school cafeteria boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Excitant tan lettuce

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: talking floppy home

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: milky milk generalized bond



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: milky milk generalized bond



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: talking floppy home

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: talking floppy home

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: talking floppy home

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: diverse cream senate pisswyrm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: talking floppy home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Mauve fantasy-prone preventive strike



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Judgmental Unhinged Azn

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: abusive point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Bonkers exhilarant giraffe

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: talking floppy home

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Scarlet concupiscible coldplay fan center

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Azure angry sweet tailpipe

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: talking floppy home

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Submissive Legal Warrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: talking floppy home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: talking floppy home

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Scarlet concupiscible coldplay fan center

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: talking floppy home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Free-loading site knife



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: talking floppy home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: talking floppy home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: shimmering church building



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: talking floppy home

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Mentally impaired impertinent mad cow disease



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: talking floppy home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Aphrodisiac Skinny Woman Gas Station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: shimmering church building



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: talking floppy home

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Thriller Cordovan Step-uncle's House Idiot

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: talking floppy home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Thriller Cordovan Step-uncle's House Idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Iridescent Hospital



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Scarlet concupiscible coldplay fan center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#49538935)