Etiquette Q For Kidmos: Are Siblings Implicitly Invited To Kids B-Day Parties?
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Date: February 11th, 2026 1:15 PM Author: Stirring house
does this depend on the location? what other variables?
another kid in son's prek class is having a bday party on a sunday afternoon. they presumably invited the whole class, which is required. party is at a kids' facility where presumably the parents have to either pay per kid, or pay a flat fee but have a limit on the number of the kids.
i dont expect them to pay for shit for everyone's other siblings, but i'm not sure what the protocol is. if we have to split up the family on a sunday, we probably just wouldnt go.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833643&forum_id=2#49663312) |
Date: February 11th, 2026 1:17 PM Author: Exciting hilarious liquid oxygen box office
Ask if you can bring the sibling and offer to pay for the sibling. 80% of the time they say its ok and you don’t have to pay. Sometimes the number of kids is capped and you have to pay for that sibling.
You should ask though. This happens all the time.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833643&forum_id=2#49663316) |
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Date: February 12th, 2026 5:14 PM Author: Stirring house
totally fine to trick God that way.
but from a technical standpoint, it's expensive and a hassle to install a bunch of hard-wired timer switches for wall switches in your house.
for a plug in lamp, it's easy to use a timer.
btw big picture, it's easier just to avoid as many timers as possible. the last minute scramble before shabbos starts is stressful, and having to set up timers is one more thing. easy to screw up and have them either not go on or on for the wrong hours, so easier just to leave them on.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833643&forum_id=2#49666598)
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Date: February 11th, 2026 1:54 PM Author: beady-eyed center
one parent take the kid the party if the kid actually wants to go, other parent does something else with the other kid, switch parents who go to birthday parties.
Don't make the entire family show up to some kids birthday party.
That's not actually a 'nice thing' to do as a family.
Actually having one on one time with just one of the kids is nice, appreciate the chance to get to do that.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833643&forum_id=2#49663451) |
Date: February 11th, 2026 1:22 PM Author: Tan racy karate set
Siblings are not invited unless explicitly listed. Inviting the whole class might be 20 kids (which at many venues is already expensive). Add in siblings and it's a fortune.
Commercial venue it's a hard no. Home party you could maybe ask, especially if your kid is too young to drop off and you don't have coverage at home. If it's a play place just pay for your kid to separately do their own thing while you keep an eye on them and you are nearby if your other kid needs anything at the party. Never presume and try not to put pressure on the host to accommodate you if you can avoid it.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833643&forum_id=2#49663337) |
Date: February 11th, 2026 1:35 PM Author: Jade shitlib
for a home party, when kids are young enough that parents are staying, siblings are expected and normal.
if it's a drop off party (home or commercial setting), then no siblings.
if it's a commercial spot and parents are staying, i would expect younger siblings to stay and join. for example, if the party is for 5 year olds, i'd expect some parents to bring 3 year old siblings and would probably explicitly invite them.
edit: for younger kids, i look at birthday parties as an event where you invite a family rather than just the kid.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833643&forum_id=2#49663370) |
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Date: February 11th, 2026 1:44 PM Author: Stirring house
>if it's a commercial spot and parents are staying, i would expect younger siblings to stay and join. for example, if the party is for 5 year olds, i'd expect some parents to bring 3 year old siblings and would probably explicitly invite them.
but there's no explicit invite to siblings.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833643&forum_id=2#49663412) |
Date: February 11th, 2026 2:45 PM Author: dull dashing really tough guy
For ages where you invite whole class, a prestigious host will explicitly invite siblings so you don’t have to worry. To do otherwise implies that $20 is a lot of money to you, that you are trying to feed a bunch of kids on two pizzas and a single tray of cupcakes, and that you have failed to procure an entire suitable venue and are getting by on a limited capacity room in some prole shitvenue.
If you’ve been invited to that second type of party, just reply “unsubscribe” and teach your child the importance of affiliating with the right kind of people. Also consider moving or changing schools.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833643&forum_id=2#49663598) |
Date: February 11th, 2026 3:03 PM Author: Bistre lodge
home / public space party: yes
Playspace party: feel free to bring them but be prepared to pay out of pocket
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833643&forum_id=2#49663651) |
Date: February 11th, 2026 5:08 PM Author: electric cruel-hearted market haunted graveyard
This thread is violence. In communities of color, the party lasts for hours with a vague start and end time, and the whole family is implicitly invited.
In the culutre of the oppressor, only the specifically invited guests can come (i.e., the classmates, and maybe a couple friends of the birthday boy/girl's siblings, if he/she has siblings). It's rude to even ask about bringing one of your other kids, unless (a) it's an infant, who won't even really do the gymnastics or arcade games or whatever or (b) the party is at a public park and it's nbd if some siblings come and also play on the playground or whatever.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833643&forum_id=2#49663981) |
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Date: February 11th, 2026 9:00 PM Author: Stirring house
tbf, there's something deeply wrong with the white american way of life where your school class is just some randoms.
in the ortho jew world, ur kid's classmates are likely kids who live in the same neighborhood and go to your same shul and you play with after schools and on shabbat.
the soullessness of white american k-12 is why whites have so many social problems
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833643&forum_id=2#49664449) |
Date: February 11th, 2026 5:16 PM Author: Stirring house
this is a surprisingly SOLID thread. real advice containing a range of reasonable opinions written in an intelligent manner. this feels like xo of yore.
perhaps bc we've never done this thread, it's interesting to people.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833643&forum_id=2#49663995) |
Date: February 11th, 2026 5:56 PM Author: Nudist Razzle Boiling Water
If it’s in a facility, no siblings
If it’s a park, nbd but you have to only take a leftover goodie bag if any
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833643&forum_id=2#49664091) |
Date: February 11th, 2026 11:13 PM Author: Umber Point Candlestick Maker
Seems to have gotten to the right place here.
Based on NYC where parties at kid gyms are $50 per kid or so:
1. Kid gym/paid facility - drop off - siblings definitely not invited and don’t ask.
2. Same as 1 but parents stay - siblings are welcome if they’re young enough that they can’t participate in the activity and won’t throw a fit that they’re not “part of the party.”
3. Home party follows the same rules as 1-2, but if parents are staying you can say “we’d love to make it but I can’t because of childcare for little sibling.” The host should then offer to let you bring the little sibling. If it’s at a public place like a park, you are OK just straight up asking if siblings are invited. If they’re not the people are sociopaths and you shouldn’t go.
4. If you bring a second kid, bring a small second gift. Like a coloring book or something
5. Don’t waste your time having both parents at a birthday party. You and wife should split up for this and alternate. It’s a rare opportunity to have solo time for one parent and it’s not that hard to watch a little one when there are tons of other kids and parents around.
6. Once you get to 1st grade or so and everyone has been through this, parents will stop being retarded and tell you if it’s drop off etc. in the invite.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833643&forum_id=2#49664849) |
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