Where Does One Go on a First Date With the Mayor?

Matched by a “modern day yenta,” Melissa Blaustein, who is now a member of Sausalito’s City Council, quickly connected with David Saxe, a real estate investor who became “the Doug Emhoff of Sausalito.”

After his divorce in 2017, David Benjamin Saxe took a few years for self-reflection.

“I wanted to improve nearly every aspect of myself,” he said, “to make myself into the best possible partner.”

Mr. Saxe, a San Francisco resident, read self-help books and doubled down on therapy, knowing his communication skills needed work.

A founder and the managing principal of Calvera Partners, a multifamily real estate investment firm, he had already excelled in his career. He sensed he needed to put similar effort not only into finding the right woman, but keeping her.

Sitting around waiting was not Melissa Jean Blaustein’s style either. In 2023, at the age of 34, Ms. Blaustein became the youngest woman to serve as mayor of Sausalito, the small city north of San Francisco, for a one-year term.

In addition to now serving as a member of Sausalito’s City Council, she is a consultant for Ground Floor Public Affairs in San Francisco, advising organizations and foundations focused on civic revitalization.

Ms. Blaustein is also an open water swimmer, holding a world record for the fastest directional swim in the Strait of Juan de Fuca, from Washington state to British Columbia. (She did the 16.8-kilometer swim in seven hours, 45 minutes.) She has also swum the English Channel and around Manhattan.

Dating as a public figure is never easy, she said, but especially as a young woman. “You’re constantly wondering if people are interested in you for who you are as a person, or because of your title and influence.” Furthermore, she said she learned the hard way that while many men think they’re fine with an ambitious woman, that sentiment can disappear when they’re actually with one.

She took advice from “Calling in ‘The One:’ 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life” by Katherine Woodward Thomas, like purging her place of seven trash bags full of old belongings.

At a Yom Kippur break fast in September 2023, Ms. Blaustein reconnected with a college friend, Jackie Harel, now a matchmaker, and told her she was ready to meet her life partner.

Before she left that evening, Ms. Harel told Ms. Blaustein’s parents, “I’m going to find your daughter a husband.”

In November, Ms. Blaustein was at lunch with her mother when Ms. Harel called with a name. Ms. Blaustein was hesitant. She already knew who Dave Saxe was; he had even gone on dates with a few of her friends.

Ms. Harel was persistent. “He’s definitely ready to meet his life partner,” she said. “I think you’ll really like him.”

They met in December. Ms. Blaustein suggested Fort Baker, part of the Golden Gate National Recreation Area, where they could walk Bowie, her chocolate Labrador retriever, with relative privacy. (Only two people interrupted to talk to Ms. Blaustein.)

Part of Mr. Saxe’s new dating strategy was to be open to women beyond his usual type. That tweak served him well, since on the apps, he would have filtered out anyone taller than him. (He is 5-foot-7; she is 5-foot-10.)

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The groom clasps the waist of the bride, who appears surprised and delighted under a huppah. Their rabbi looks on while speaking.

Sydney Mintz, a Rabbinic scholar at Congregation Emanu-El, the couple’s synagogue in San Francisco, officiated their ceremony before 251 guests.Credit...Radostina Boseva

Guests leaving the ceremony and walking from the courtyard to the cocktail hour.Credit...Radostina Boseva

After the walk, they sat down on the patio of Cavallo Point Lodge, where Mr. Saxe asked if Ms. Blaustein wanted to order something for Bowie off the dog menu.

Another instant point of connection was art and their appreciation of it.

Ms. Blaustein recalled frequent visits to the de Young Museum in San Francisco with her father as she was growing up, and to the di Rosa Center for Contemporary Art in Napa, Calif., with her mother.

While Mr. Saxe doesn’t usually disclose it so soon, he shared that his grandparents, Dorothy Saxe and George Saxe, were such prominent collectors of pieces from the crafts movement — glass, ceramic, wood, fiber and metal — that their donated collection is part of the de Young’s permanent collection.

Binge more Vows columns here and read all our wedding, relationship and divorce coverage here.

Ms. Blaustein and Mr. Saxe also connected over philanthropy and civic service. While Mr. Saxe and his family have long served on the boards of many Jewish organizations, Ms. Blaustein’s family also was involved in causes important to them. In just one example, for nearly two decades, her father, a psychiatrist and former president of the Psychiatric Foundation of Northern California, advocated for a barrier beneath the Golden Gate Bridge to prevent suicides.

Both also attended the same synagogue, Congregation Emanu-El in San Francisco, but given its size, they had never met.

The next morning, Ms. Blaustein appeared on local television to promote Sausalito on the Waterfront Foundation’s Winterfest. Mr. Saxe woke up early to watch, and even though he knew the matchmaker was supposed to find out first whether there would be a second date, he broke protocol to text Ms. Blaustein a photo of herself on TV, adding that she crushed it and looked beautiful.

Ms. Blaustein, 37, grew up the youngest of four siblings — the older two from her mother’s first marriage — in neighboring Mill Valley. Her parents are Mel and Marilyn Blaustein.

After earning a bachelor’s degree with honors in American studies from the University of California, Berkeley, she earned a master’s in public affairs from the Paris Institute of Political Studies in France. She is now working toward a master’s degree in homeland security at the Naval Postgraduate School in Monterey, Calif.

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The couple kiss beside a large cake that depicted a woman lying on her side, based on a sculpture.

The wedding cake was a replica of a sculpture called “Reclining Nude #2” by Viola Frey at the di Rosa.Credit...Radostina Boseva

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Mr. Saxe, 47, is the oldest of three boys of Loren and Shelley Saxe; he grew up in Palo Alto, Calif. After earning a bachelor’s degree in economics at Northwestern University, he obtained an M.B.A. from the Haas School of Business at U.C. Berkeley.

On their second date, Ms. Blaustein brought Mr. Saxe to her rabbi friend’s Hanukkah party, where he met many of her friends. Later that evening, they shared their first kiss.

Their relationship moved quickly. In June 2024, they traveled to Bosnia and Croatia on a group trip that was sponsored by the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee and Jewish Federation Bay Area, and chaired by Mr. Saxe.

Also, in 2024, Ms. Blaustein was up for re-election for City Council. Mr. Saxe wholeheartedly threw himself into the role of campaign spouse, driving Ms. Blaustein to events and putting up signs. Locally, he became known as “the Doug Emhoff of Sausalito.” (She won.)

In February, they moved into a house in Sausalito together, and a few weeks later, Mr. Saxe proposed. He did so on a Wednesday night; when she came home from dinner with a friend, Bowie had the ring attached to his collar.

“Dave has all these tools that make me feel really seen and heard in this beautiful way that I’ve never experienced,” Ms. Blaustein said. “He’s also taught me so much about being a better communicator.”

“I feel such calm and safety with Melissa,” Mr. Saxe said. “Our shared interests and values are so aligned.”

Their four-day celebration had three central themes: the arts, Judaism and building community, and was an arts festival of sorts with a wedding ceremony on day three.

Things kicked off Thursday evening, when guests took a private tour of the new satellite space for di Rosa Center for Contemporary Art in San Francisco.

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The couple’s four-day celebration had three central themes: the arts, Judaism and building community. Above, the sculpture garden was lit up during the reception.Credit...Radostina Boseva

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Guests dance the hora in a black and white photo.

“I believe God kept us apart when we were in the exact same place because She knew I wasn’t ready yet,” the bride said. “Watching you in action is pure joy,” said the groom.Credit...Radostina Boseva

On Friday morning, guests were taken on a private tour of the de Young Museum, where they visited Mr. Saxe’s grandparents’ collection in addition to two other exhibitions.

By Friday evening, the festivities moved to the di Rosa in Napa. A talent show that included a standup routine by their rabbi and officiant and an aerial performance by the bride’s cousin followed a Shabbat dinner. Guests could also visit an exhibition of Lucas Foglia, a photographer, or work collaboratively on a paint-by-numbers canvas, a replica of a famous di Rosa piece.

Rabbi Sydney Mintz of Congregation Emanu-El officiated their ceremony at the di Rosa on Oct. 18, in front of 251 guests. At the reception, guests were seated at one long table in the sculpture garden. (There was also a brunch at the di Rosa on the final day of the celebration.)

In his vows, Mr. Saxe said, “You are the most productive person I’ve ever met on earth and watching you in action is pure joy.”

Ms. Blaustein, who will now go by Melissa Saxe Blaustein, said, “I believe we are part of a divine union and a bigger plan to create tikkun olam together,” or healing the world. The bride added: “I believe God kept us apart when we were in the exact same place because She knew I wasn’t ready yet.”

On This Day

When Oct. 18, 2025

Where The di Rosa Center for Contemporary Art, Napa Valley, Calif.

Outfit Changes The bride changed into three different gowns: a strapless Vera Wang for the ceremony, a hand-beaded Liz Martinez for the reception, and a vintage sequin sheath for the after-party. The groom wore a blue Canali suit.

Giving Back In lieu of a gift registry, the couple asked guests to donate to any of four arts institutions, and Ms. Blaustein told Mr. Saxe in her vows one thing that she loved about him was that “when asked what drives you to be more successful in your already impressive work life, you say it’s because you want to be able to give more away.”

Art and More Art The cake, baked by the bride’s friend Kirstin Wenster Pearson of Revelry Cakes, was a replica in devil’s food and milk chocolate buttercream of a sculpture called “Reclining Nude #2” by Viola Frey at the di Rosa. A live model posed near the actual sculpture covered in flowers during the ceremony, the idea of the floral designer Vanessa Blyth Marlin of Bell & Trunk Flowers.

Additionally, a sculpture of a bridge in the garden was lit up at night in red with a layer of flowers beneath it, to symbolize the barrier now beneath the Golden Gate Bridge for which Dr. Blaustein advocated.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5798199&forum_id=2Firm#49431734)