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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Racy Really Tough Guy Deer Antler
  12/03/18
...
Racy Really Tough Guy Deer Antler
  12/03/18
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~*Christmas in July bump*~
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Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Racy Really Tough Guy Deer Antler

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Racy Really Tough Guy Deer Antler



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: frozen senate internal respiration

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Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Racy Really Tough Guy Deer Antler

ty!

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Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: sinister menage roast beef

jfc, this was 180.

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Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
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Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
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Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
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Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
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Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
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Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
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Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
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Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
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Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
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Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
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Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
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Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
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Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
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Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
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Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
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Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: khaki massive tattoo

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

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Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
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Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Racy Really Tough Guy Deer Antler



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Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
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Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
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Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
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Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
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Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
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Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Racy Really Tough Guy Deer Antler



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Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
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Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
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Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Scarlet bearded double fault point

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Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Racy Really Tough Guy Deer Antler

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Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
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Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Racy Really Tough Guy Deer Antler

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Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Racy Really Tough Guy Deer Antler

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Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Racy Really Tough Guy Deer Antler

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Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
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Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
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Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
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Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
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Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Chartreuse Ticket Booth Trust Fund

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Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Racy Really Tough Guy Deer Antler

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Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: ungodly mother school

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Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: diverse tank windowlicker

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Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Racy Really Tough Guy Deer Antler

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Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
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Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
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Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Racy Really Tough Guy Deer Antler

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Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: ungodly mother school

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Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
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Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
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Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
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Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Racy Really Tough Guy Deer Antler

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Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
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Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Racy Really Tough Guy Deer Antler

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Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
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Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
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Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
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