I've largely spent my life online, for me it really sank in that I'd be living a half life around puberty, just stayed home on the PC, coped using online video games, posting etc.

Now this is what I wanted to get to, the other day I saw a twitter post that went 'viral' along the lines of "I didn't know so many asians/waisans even existed online until I played Valorant* ... it was like a bat signal" It received around half a million likes etc.

Edit: Found it https://x.com/VietMarxist18/status/1904807843007508756

*Relatively new online first person shooter video game

Being online, it's not that people always assumed you were a white person, its almost as if people out of hand assumed you had SOME VALUE if you were connected to a PC, & it NEVER even occurred to them for the vast majority of anonymous interactions the race of the person they were interacting with. They never even considered it, you were just words on a screen

So, being online, being anonymous, it wasn't just about hiding for me. It was also about gaining access to something vastly more important, life affirming. Gaining value, being listened to, not being discarded. It sounds fucking gay. It is gay, but its the truth afaik.

These days, Im starting to feel this lifeline is being slowly wrapped up by Bots, AI agents & people becoming more 'racinated' i.e. H1b indian mixup on Twitter/in US politics recently. Along with surging third world internet access, the internet itself being largely a husk filled with bots and brown people is becoming an open secret.

You have less and less value as an "actor" on the internet, your screeds mean less, your voice means less everyday, soon there wont be anywhere for people like me. Even XO has become "gay & lame" as we find out 90% are indian.

Discuss

https://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5401217&mc=3&forum_id=2

https://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5681990&mc=3&forum_id=2

https://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5659889&mc=1&forum_id=2

https://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5401220&mc=7&forum_id=2

https://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5401646&mc=15&forum_id=2

https://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5401204&mc=9&forum_id=2

https://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5094666&mc=10&forum_id=2

https://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5416101&mc=16&forum_id=2

https://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5401196&mc=7&forum_id=2

https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5468206&mc=9&forum_id=2#47242071

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48793649)

The only place someone like me, with my pathology, can feel valued is online, however due to tech + browning of the world, this little coping mechanism is being shuttered slowly.

Its may be hard to comprehend if you are a white person with automatic value IRL, a person with lower EQ, self awareness, unwarranted self esteem etc, someone without this pathology etc

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48793689)

the entire "white" discourse it's based off of was written by jews, indians, and hispanics as various ciphers on the internet. irl europeans and european americans don't actually think about race much and if you were ever a sincere racist at any point in your life this stares you in the face with troubling repetition

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48793692)

YEAH, BLO. REAR A WHITE A PEOPEHR NO EVEN KNOW OR CALE ABOUT A WHITE A PEOPEH. I KNOWR DEEZ TINGS, BLO.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48793694)

And possibly, ur point proves my own, having the luxury of "not thinking about it" is the treat here. Thats what winning looks like.

Not going to get into a semantics chat about 'racism' because that just doesnt mean anything, all im saying is being online for me, and I assume many other racial others helped to assuage the feeling of otherness, space for at least some sort of individuation without the mental shackles of "oh this guys brown" constantly needing to be negotiated

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48793696)

you're only the "other" because you've inserted yourself amongst someone else's ethnos and now have the audacity to complain about being made to feel like an "outsider."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48793701)

has anyone told you that this site is a mossad honeypot recently

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48793706)

I dont have a home, I am 'deracinated' as they say

I get that its easy to punch down, and what youve said is axiomatically true, its just not facing the other truth though

A bunch of people arent going back because they really cant, I'd be an outsider if I went home today.

I'll even level with you, I dont want to go home because everyone there is retarded & ugly. I like white people, there, I said it ok? I didnt choose this world. I wont be breeding personally, just trying to get through this life with my dignity intact, hopefully enjoy some moments of it. I just stay home mostly

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48793716)

i'm white and obviously my subjective experience is very different from yours, but i feel the same way about what's happening to Online - that it's no longer a place where you can automatically 'connect' with anyone and everyone else as a Baseline Human Being with worth

you're probably old enough to remember what it was like way back in the day, before smartphones, before almost any normies at all were online. i don't think i ever once thought about anyone's race Online. if you were technologically savvy and interested enough to be Online, you were automatically 'one of us'

it was a very special time that was an aberration in human history. we didn't realize how good we had it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48793849)

one day this whole internet thing is going to be wrapped up. I wont forget the good times. take it easy

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48793853)

if not, or even so, this is well crafted schtick.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48793933)

Look I get you sat down and browsed r/hapa for like 3 hours one weekend & really want to Baader-Meinhof relate it to something else, but this is just incoherent

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48793939)

I just went on the computer to get a taste of neutrality, not complicated, OP is about how this is going the way of the dodo thanks to bots, siloed spaces/compartmentalization & growing third world internet access so "the internet" has a lower and lower ROI as an escape valve.

rest of what youre saying is incoherent imo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48793960)

there are actually many people out there like the OP, who are capable of and even prefer living in a world where ethnicity is not a consideration when associating with other individuals. they're mostly white, due to how europe's history molded europeans, but non-white people like this do exist - such as the OP

crazy that this guy can make such a perceptive, thoughtful thread like this, and some ethnic barges in and immediately tells him he's wrong and doesn't understand himself (lol) because he's not an ethnonarcissistic chimp. lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48793968)

You dont even know how to spell shtick

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48793986)

how could an honest and inquisitive 30-something indian born and raised in america, who grew up not too concerned about race and enjoying american society, not have similar thoughts when he sees how mass indian immigration is tearing apart the UK, for example

for the first time in their lives many people who were born into this society and brought up on the doctrine of colorblindness are now forced to acknowledge that the society that they love so much is, in fact, a western european invention, and necessarily the product of western european culture. and that it is the continued immigration of people exactly like them who are causing that society to burst at its seams. for example he says above that he likes white people and everyone "back home" is ugly.

it is easier for an italian or a pole whose great grandparents entered via ellis island to chase a thought like that off without too much concern. but it'd be a lot harder for a thoughtful indian born into the US to look at what's happening to the UK right now and simply accept that western society is his. and not to question what that means about himself. of course he can "get by" just fine in the US today but he's been awakened to his being and inner nature in a way that he wasn't ever before. and so that he might not really be part of all of this in the same way.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48795868)

Its my own fault for introducing a white/non-white dichotomy "shorthand" for what I was initially trying to illustrate, very poorly.

Even interacting with *other* people of mutual lower status is better online/when anonymous, so its not just about me pining for 'white' peoples attention, its about being able to have interpersonal interactions without them being modulated by your human capital constantly, a place where everyone is 'white' (read: has intrinsic worth or is at least neutral)

The crux of my argument in OP is that the internet is turning into a place where "people like me" (too narcissistic to "just be yourself IRL! plenty of people do it!" arent able to satiate the need for socializing without being the heel IRL, Im admitting it to you, YES, Im too fucking ashamed/narcisstic to go outside and smell the daisies and skip around like a faggot & grow a thick skin, you got me, its too fucking much work. So I gave up, What do you want me to say? Of course there are some people who might eventually treat me fine IRL but the ROI is so fucking low that you'd have to go through a soul altering amount of humiliation to reach that or have an extremely low EQ to not understand when people are trying to telegraph that you arent worthy of being around. Its just not worth it at a certain level.

Take race out of it & say the internet is shutdown tomorrow, now ALL of my interpersonal interactions have to be modulated through my own human capital irl, with *everyone*

Whites are basically the only group that even attempt to foster a "blindness" attitude at least on its face. The only other place this is mitigated at all in anyway is online. My feeling is that online is slowly being shuttered as a place you can enjoy raceblind interpersonal interaction for a few reasons

1. Human contact on the internet is at an all time low as a good in the marketplace, while IRL it is at a high, thanks to non white adoption of the internet. Combined with AI agents turning the written word into toilet paper, there is zero novelty now in "talking to a person over the internet" compared to lets say 2010, Its played out. So the little cheatcode of hooking another human (''''white''' or not!) with that novelty is being hammered, hard.

2. Socializing is done more in siloed ways through discrete apps https://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701667&mc=10&forum_id=2 People dont need to connect with strangers online anyway, and if they do, theyre quickly cloistered away

3. Racination, people are generally becoming more racially conscious now for many reasons I wont get into since we are all aware of the politics landscape but also due to reason 1. The chilling effect of large amounts of third worlders going online makes people much warier about who exactly they are communicating with now, again, compared to say 2010 or so.

So, the little dripfeed keeping me sane online is slowing down, Im being forced back out 'into the fray' with everyone else, it just is what it is

Im not 'MAF' at white people for "not getting their attention" Im actually very thankful they've allowed me to enjoy a modicum of my existence in the first place, I get that you want to punch down & say im just an embittered brown man crying into a pillow for white people to love me but its really not about that, Im also going to be honest and admit white people are better and thats why they created these superior places & systems which even allowed me the sensory experience of being accepted without prejudice or social status games for many years. Your characterization is very unsophisticated & reads like one of those 'redpill comics' imo and talking about sex & dating is missing the spirit of my post, which again is my fault really

Dont even know where im going with this really, just some thoughts I had in OP, seems insane to lay it all out,but this is what I actually believe & feel at least right now

Aces of spaces is an insane thing to relate this to, no idea man

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48795969)

you are an agency-less bioweapon deployed in a Jewish masterminded genocide of the white race in the US/EU.

this is not about your personal "I Wish I Were White Like I Dreamed About Being While Watching Saved By the Bell in the 90s" psychodrama. it is not about your tender brown feels. it's about an ongoing ethnic cleansing to which you are now an accountable party.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48795973)

non whites like me are just hiding away in their homes, astonished at our luck & waiting for the day when whites just start forcibly removing us

its rly insane we're even allowed to be here all things considered, kinda embarrassing

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48795997)

you're doing what women do - taking little hints of your feelings and blowing them up into condemnations of society, and into entire political projects.

sorry you can't "game" anymore without someone saying "jeet" in the chat. jesus fucking christ.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48796006)

None of us are really talking here substantively to each other, which is really my point

You hate the body I was born into, which means you dont really care to consider and absorb anything I say, which is your right, yes, I can no longer game you now, combine this with a growing number of people who think the same way as you who are very eager for this to be the case across the board (no deracinated spaces) & a tidal wave of bots/browns flooding the net, its over for *that*

Im not even addressing demographics IRL or immigration, im talking about the internet only as an avenue to cope with the crushing reality of my existence, u just went on your own fact finding mission & related it somehow to irl demos, which I largely understand & agree with, the whole adolescence show debacle in the UK is insane for example in light of whats been going on, but Im not talking about irl

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48796013)

You dont think most people think the way you do? They do. So I dont want to live IRL. I go online, now thats over and im being forced back to pretending being 'welcomed' nominally doesnt make me want to swandive off a bridge, sooooooooo yeah

thats all

In a way, its actually worse to realize corporate GC enforced global village ZOGworld kardashian vocal fry kumbaya bullshit is as good as it gets.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48796027)

you get to live in the most prosperous, welcoming, and generous society ever devised by mankind, and one that is still remarkably kind to ethnics, both institutionally and culturally.

but that is not enough for you - you still feel "othered" simply because you recognize that your skin is brown and this is not a brown society. that is just an unavoidable reality and there is no legislating that away, there is no act of law or god that will make us all identical and interchangeable, this is not a political or even social issue, this is all up to you to overcome internally. you can't take this out on your surroundings because your surroundings cannot fix this, they are immutable.

sorry your gaming buddies are a little edgy. you don't think stray bullying has been around since the dawn of time? that people in the 1950s weren't making fun of fat kids? should we have praised obesity as the pinnacle of man to solve this? you're not gonna be able to live anywhere if you insist on taking impersonal and anonymous slights like this deeply personally.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48796038)

I dont want to be celebrated for being brown dude, I was honestly hoping to coast under the radar online for 80yrs somehow lol, but not possible now

"you're not gonna be able to live anywhere if you insist on taking impersonal and anonymous slights like this deeply personally"

Yeah, I cant do it, again, the narcissistic injury is just too heavy for me

If someone ever said something racial to me on my little online accont, I'd delete my account & ghost everyone, start over LOL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48796039)

Life is messy man

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48795971)

makes me feel almost as lonely as the OP. i now live in a world and society that's half made up of foreign races that i have little to nothing in common with, and the other half made up of my "own kind" who are almost all unsophisticated, solipsistic chimps who lack any kind of ability - or will - to understand another person's subjective experience. what is the difference between you people and an LLM? increasingly, nothing

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48796214)

Chad & Stacy? Like Wtf?

No matter how insane I get, the tangents people go on when you admit any of this, anywhere, are truly bewildering

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48796283)

a bump is engagement. i'm not going to spend my weekend time engaging deeper about depressing yet broadly true things.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48796374)

Everything youve said before this is your own head canon random tangents & I had no idea wtf u were talking about, but this post, I 100% stand behind, to be clear

Dont get anything else u said itt

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48796453)

he thoroughly clarified what he is saying and immediately addressed what he's trying to get at with the white/nonwhite stuff.

this is more of a lament about the decline of the "home" he found in the golden age of the internet and was using the actual racial blindness of the era as an example. this is why tacobellguy sympathizes with his argunent despite being white.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48796468)

"Im admitting it to you, YES, Im too fucking ashamed/narcisstic to go outside and smell the daisies and skip around like a faggot & grow a thick skin, you got me, its too fucking much work. So I gave up, What do you want me to say?"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48796528)

i suspect that the sentiments expressed by the OP are the basis for much of nyuug's psychosis, hence his absence ITT

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5701662&forum_id=2Firm#48802187)