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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
glittery stead gay wizard
  12/03/18
...
glittery stead gay wizard
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Self-absorbed institution
  12/03/18
ty!
glittery stead gay wizard
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
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Geriatric faggotry
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  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
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120
Metal Organic Girlfriend Idea He Suggested
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this was pretty good, nice work
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  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
glittery stead gay wizard
  07/01/19
...
Geriatric faggotry
  07/01/19
...
Geriatric faggotry
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
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  12/10/19
getting close...
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  12/20/19
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glittery stead gay wizard
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  12/24/19
...
concupiscible gas station
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Idiotic Snowy Base
  12/24/19
lol
glittery stead gay wizard
  12/24/19
This
Abusive histrionic ladyboy
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Flesh multi-colored cuck
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ty, labor of love
glittery stead gay wizard
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glittery stead gay wizard
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glittery stead gay wizard
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Green Twinkling Uncleanness
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Chri$tmas $pirit
glittery stead gay wizard
  12/20/21
Lmao
Filthy idiot private investor
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Don Spaceporn De La Squancha
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constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Self-absorbed institution

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: well-lubricated church building

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Abusive histrionic ladyboy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Geriatric faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Sticky Big-titted Theater Stage



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: flushed becky



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: sick center sweet tailpipe



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: well-lubricated church building



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard



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Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
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Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: coiffed nibblets voyeur



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Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
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Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Blue vigorous field kitty cat



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Silver wonderful blood rage meetinghouse



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Geriatric faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: lascivious naked plaza



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: beady-eyed french chef gaping

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Metal Organic Girlfriend Idea He Suggested

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Metal Organic Girlfriend Idea He Suggested



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: gay galvanic immigrant corn cake



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: sable aggressive foreskin



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Idiotic Snowy Base

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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Sickened theater wagecucks



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Cruel-hearted parlour striped hyena



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: brilliant know-it-all shrine telephone

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Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Geriatric faggotry



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Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Geriatric faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard

Early December Bump

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Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard

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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Crystalline bat shit crazy station knife



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Insane abode fat ankles



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Balding Out-of-control School Son Of Senegal

This deserves more bumps.

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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: concupiscible gas station



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Idiotic Snowy Base

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Abusive histrionic ladyboy

This

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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Flesh multi-colored cuck

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Bronze bipolar codepig ceo



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Abusive histrionic ladyboy

pure gold 180

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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: french aqua hunting ground



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Green Twinkling Uncleanness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: coiffed nibblets voyeur



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: gay galvanic immigrant corn cake



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Green Twinkling Uncleanness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Filthy idiot private investor

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Firm#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: glittery stead gay wizard



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Filthy idiot private investor



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Talented autistic ticket booth



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Abusive histrionic ladyboy



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Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: FBI person



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Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: Don Spaceporn De La Squancha (✅🍑)



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



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