Edit (see subthread with all the blank bumps, promise is a promise):

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3748444/Erect-penis-sizes-compared-world.html

Thx to that pumo, TMF and others for going heavy with the insecticide when nyuug got uppity ITT

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4571570&forum_id=2Firm#40506007)

This is how it's done.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4571570&forum_id=2Firm#40508321)

(if it comes to it of course which I’m hoping won’t happen)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4571570&forum_id=2Firm#40506260)

Yesterday I asked my sister in law (on the phone) point blank if she by any chance has herpes and long story short she said yes, she does. she’s a total hooer so am not surprised at all.

So as relates to this subthread, there is no paper trail. But there are these really itchy and somewhat painful sores on my dick, and I’m trying to zero in on what my practical options are for either hiding them from or explaining them to my wife.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4571570&forum_id=2Firm#40506289)

My marriage has been going downhill for a while now and even though she’s pushing 30 and has the aura of skank around her bigtime, my SiL is still basically a hotter, thinner, younger, non-shrewy version of my wife and I’d definitely jerked it to her more than once over the past decade.

After putting on this slutshow (which I’d stopped trying to pretend i didn’t notice after the first few mins) for a while, she got up and went to the fridge, then called out my name followed by a question about whether we had any more Prosecco.

I knew there were 3 bottles of Prosecco in plain sight on the top shelf, so while it took me a few drunk seconds, I was able to connect the dots at that point re: what was about to happen.

I hesitated for a moment, then looked at the big fucking grownup party mess inside and outside that my I knew my wife had no intention of cleaning at all, and went to the kitchen.

Of course once I got close enough to the fridge to point to the obvious location of the Prosecco bottles, she backed her juicy sundress-clad ass into the excruciating hardon I’d been suffering with since a minute after she’d sat down in the living room and “absentmindedly” spread her legs.

I started kissing her and kneading her tits, then started fingering her which I continued doing as we staggered into the laundry room just off the kitchen where we did various sick raw shit for the next 15-20 mins that ended with me cumming in her mouth and her swallowing.

Wife was giving our 3 year-old daughter a bath (which actually means leaving her to turn into a prune in the bath for 45 mins or more while wife plays with her cell phone in bed) while all this was going on.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4571570&forum_id=2Firm#40506416)

Very well-established routine - as soon as each of our kids was old enough to (probably) not drown if left alone in the tub, she would just toss them in (hopefully wouldn’t forget to put in bath toys too) and then cuddle up in bed for an hour or so of MUCH DESERVED ME TIME which nowadays means being glued to her iPhone reading “mommy blogs” and Facebook and buying garbage on amazon.

(It used to mean nagging or haranguing me about her various and endless birdbrain insecurities and grievances back when I was dumb enough to be in the bedroom after she dropped the kid(s) in the tub, but now I know to be far far away once the water starts running.)

My other (older) kids were still playing in the yard, loaded up with sugar and burning off the high. I did consider for a second the possibility one of them would come into the kitchen for a drink or something and hear the various filthy noises emanating from the laundry room, but 1) there’s a (closer to the yard) fridge in the garage stocked with their favorite stuff and 2) as I stuck my cock into my SiL’s astonishingly wet snatch from behind (she was bent over the front of the washer) i reached out and turned the washer and also the dryer on in hopes of drowning out sound on the off chance someone wandered into the kitchen lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4571570&forum_id=2Firm#40506706)

May as well start boning her on the reg, assuming she’s down. Sounds like your marriage was done here anyway and it’s not like you can get double herpes!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4571570&forum_id=2Firm#40506928)

though for the record both my sons are 100% my biological offspring and never have I ever squanched them

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4571570&forum_id=2Firm#40507210)

There was 0 chance of her hearing anything from there, and - again this is from my extensive experience - less than 1% chance of her dragging her lazy ass out of the bedroom anytime in the 30-45 minutes after I made my now-highly-regretted decision to fuck her slutty herpetic little sister’s brains out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4571570&forum_id=2Firm#40507271)

ONE | WRONG | MOVE

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4571570&forum_id=2Firm#40506456)

And find Jesus.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4571570&forum_id=2Firm#40506484)

He was helped outside by what I guess was his “entourage,” one of whom came back in to apologize to me and gave me 2 crisp $100s for “dry cleaning”

Other than that and the one this thread is about, not much, I’m a pretty dull ex-biglawyer who-until recently at least - was living the ARE COUNTRY in-house dream. Fuck this whole year man.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4571570&forum_id=2Firm#40506830)

Oh, and throw in incurable herpes sores on my dick.

I meant the dream of an idyllic, prosperous and relatively carefree life that filled me with pride and satisfaction and was located as far far away from urban filth and libs as a lolyer could reasonably hope is over.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4571570&forum_id=2Firm#40507296)

As for the shitty marriage, it could be a lot a lot worse. Doesn't seem like she's cheating on you and tbf she is the mother of your four children. Just get ass on the side. Be careful not to get caught and live your life. Your description of sex with SIL makes it seem like you had a 180 time. Sometimes the cost of west gushy pussy is herpes sores for a week. Get that valtrex Rx and it'll go away. I'm sure you can get valtrex online too without a rx. But, its probably best you get the Rx.

Also, even though you for sure got it from your slut SIL. There is plausible deniability that you've been carrying it for yours and the stress from the pandemic and your marriage weakened your immune system to the point you're just now having a flare up. Don't stress... you're going to maek it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4571570&forum_id=2Firm#40507569)

On behalf of our client Kings Of Leon, LLC we’d love to chat and learn a little more about this incident from your perspective. What’s the best number or email to reach you directly?

Email me with this information including your full name at: contact@CKMNashville.law by tomorrow at 5pm please.

Thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4571570&forum_id=2Firm#40539421)