We had to make a decision and it was for my wife to quit her job and stay home with the baby bc day care was so expensive. But we had to make it work on 85k. We have a mortgage, car and now about to have our third baby.

Needless to say we struggled financially but made it work. I got a side gig doing something pretty cool and with raises and my side gig I’m about $130k. Paying off some credit card debt so not really feeling it totally yet.

I was embarrassed at the car dealer the other day. Saw a bigger SUV used that we love that would fit three car seats. When he came back with the monthly payment we just couldn’t do it. My wife and I were disappointed mostly bc that was the cheapest realistic car and we just couldn’t do it.

We are about a $1k mistake from being fucked. I worked it out with a credit union to get a car loan for like 2% and could now afford this car. I texted my wife all happy.

Today she found out her 89 year old grandpa who died in August left us $50k. Super shock.

I’m happy in a way but feel like a super failure that I couldn’t get out of this hole in my own. Is it stupid to feel this way? Gives us a ton of breathing room since I paid my debts down to like $2k minus mortgage.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5196517&forum_id=2#45206506)

$50k is not much as far as inheritance goes. Pay down debt or invest it into VTI/401k equivalent. Hold off on the new car unless you really need it.

If you're relatively young and not in a HCOL city, you're probably going to make it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5196517&forum_id=2#45206555)

If she is truly a great friend to you, then this is a great blessing. Enjoy it together.

If there are already tensions and she tries to make you feel insecure, this could be fatal.

If the latter, it is also a blessing though a hard one. It has shone a light on a relationship that is fundamentally bad. Do not neglect the chance to evaluate this now. Remaining with a woman who will immiserate you when given the chance is just counting days until that chance arrives.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5196517&forum_id=2#45206572)

You can redeem them after like a year or so, so if your wife needs to splurge you can do that.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5196517&forum_id=2#45206963)

Consider whether you have fallen into the trap of thing-buying. Like over consumption of alcohol or food, thing-buying is an easy habit to get into that provides transitory happiness but can harm you substantially in the long run.

A strong financial foundation is a worthy goal that you should consider. The absence of stress that comes from having significant liquidity and investments is amazing. To achieve this in the long term, you need to have a reasonably high savings rate, which means less thing-buying.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5196517&forum_id=2#45211375)