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Hello fellow champagne drinker

I am 33f and I would drink anywhere from 1-3 bottles of cham...
milky hyperventilating house
  05/03/24


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Date: May 3rd, 2024 10:38 PM
Author: milky hyperventilating house

I am 33f and I would drink anywhere from 1-3 bottles of champagne a day, with white claws mixed in. My first bottle of champagne was just a warm up, never even considered myself “drinking” until I moved on to the next.

I don’t know what will happen for you. For me I pushed limits more and more. I drove buzzed because I convinced myself champagne was light and fun. I used to joke that I was “just celebrating life” when the cashier asked me what the occasion was. I also went to champagne tastings to feel more like I was going about this in a sophisticated way. I didn’t drink Cooke’s, but went for $20 a bottle bruts. It was so expensive. Everything about it was stressful. The money, hiding my bottles, trying to pretend like I was sober, on and on. I got to a point where I was so confused as to why I was getting so drunk only to pretend like I wasn’t drinking? When I started partying in college the point was to do shots and sort of show the world you were tuned up. It turned into… drinking in secret and pretending I was sober. It wasn’t a party anymore.

Here’s what I think would’ve happened to me if I had kept on going: I would’ve depleted my retirement to pay for alcohol. I would’ve lost my job and suffered insane anxiety and shame. I would’ve lied and made embarrassing cover stories and made myself the victim instead of owning up to having a problem. My family would have caught on and worried about me. I would’ve got a DUI or worse: hurt someone. I would be bloated and overweight and embarrassed of any photos. I would be inside all summer watching tv. I would be exhausted all of the time. I would be drinking my way to an early grave because there is no way this is sustainable.

What I’m doing instead: i lost 50lbs. I started a new career and saved enough to put 3% down and buy a house. My family and friends can rely on me. My anxiety hasn’t gone away completely but the self loathing that went with it is greatly diminished. At least now when I am anxious about having fucked something up, I can say at least I remember everything and I did my best. I’m not endangering anyone lives by driving buzzed.

Not gonna lie, I miss looking forward to drinking and I miss champagne. I used to love opening a bottle and working on a painting. But the good feeling was so fleeting and it took everything else away from me. Money, energy, my future. I could never ever get enough alcohol so I may was well have none at all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5524873&forum_id=2#47633566)