Date: September 13th, 2024 8:05 PM
Author: cerebral salmon sandwich
Deep in the heart of AutoAdmit, in the legendary House of Horrors, Boom rules over his twisted domain. Known across the board for his mysterious ways and bizarre, yet strangely captivating poasts, Boom has captured his rival, Chingada Madre, in the dark, dank basement he calls home. His demand is simple, yet profound in the world of XO: blank-bump his poasts… or face the unspeakable consequences.
Scene: Boom’s House of Horrors – The dimly lit basement is a maze of shadows and old AutoAdmit relics, illuminated only by a flickering bulb. The air is thick with a low, rhythmic hum, punctuated by the distant dripping of water, creating a haunting backdrop. Chingada Madre sits bound to a chair in the center, a basket of battered keyboards at their feet, each with a single oversized key labeled "BLANK BUMP." A slight, almost inaudible clicking sound seems to echo in the background, like keyboards clattering in a distant dream.
Boom ("Buffalo Bill"): It blank-bumps Boom’s poast. It does this whenever it is told.
Chingada Madre: Boom, please, my family will pay cash! Whatever ransom you’re asking for, they’ll pay it. I will play nice from now on—you're the cream of the crop, whoever you are—Boom, Evan39, Mainlining, I don't care, and I won't out anyone, I promise. (Tears start to stream down Chingada Madre's face, a brief sob escaping.)
Boom ("Buffalo Bill"): It blank-bumps Boom’s poast or else it gets the hose again, my friend. ;)
(Boom wheels himself closer, turning towards the darkness, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, his eyes darting around the room.)
(To his invisible companions, “Precious Mainlining & Evan39,” who are really just Boom whispering to himself in the dark corners of his House of Horrors)
Boom ("Buffalo Bill"): Yes, it will, Precious Mainlining and Evan39, won’t it? It will get the hose, 180 style!
(Boom mutters to himself, his wheelchair creaking softly as he paces in a circular pattern, his hands gripping the wheels tightly. His eyes flicker back and forth, following the shadows that dance on the walls.)
Boom ("Buffalo Bill"): Mainlining always told me I was a twink with a luscious full head of hair, like him… But Chingada Madre won’t even blank-bump! They never do… too busy being jealous, aren’t they, Evan39?
(Boom pauses, nodding slowly, comforted by his own imagined dialogue.)
Chingada Madre: Alright, Boom, if you just let me go, I swear I won’t tell Disco Fries or Zurich. I'll stop the games—no more telling you to "Die" or calling you "Bald"—I now see you have a beautiful wig!
Boom ("Buffalo Bill"): laughs with dark delight Oh, Chingada, the board sees everything. Now, it blank-bumps Boom’s poast, or you’re getting front-paged in RSF’s next meltdown thread!
Chingada Madre: Please, Boom, I just want to go back to the board! I’ll blank-bump all your poasts, every single one, I promise!
(Boom’s expression grows more intense as he leans forward in his wheelchair, his voice rising in frustration.)
Boom ("Buffalo Bill"): IT BLANK-BUMPS BOOM’S POAST, OR ELSE YOU’RE GONNA END UP IN A TRUE HOU$E OF HORROR!
(Boom's voice echoes louder, the repetition building a frantic energy in the basement. He starts to wheel himself faster, the hum in the air growing louder, merging with the creak of his wheelchair.)
Chingada Madre: I just want my moniker unscrambled and my poasting rights back! Please, Boom, just let me…
Boom ("Buffalo Bill"): screaming BLANK-BUMP THE FUCKING POAST! BLANK-BUMP IT NOW! OR I’LL OUT YOU TO SPACEPORN, TELL THE ENTIRE SHITBORT YOU’RE A QUOTEMO SUPPORTER, AND MAEK SURE ADM GIVES YOU A LIL' GIFT, LIKE IT DID ME!
(Boom’s laughter fills the House of Horrors, reverberating off the walls, a cacophony that mixes with the steady hum, creating a symphony of madness. He clutches a battered keyboard tightly, his knuckles white, his grin wide and unsettling.)
Boom ("Buffalo Bill"): They’re all just jealous… They wish they were Boom… Even Chingada Madre… Especially Chingada Madre.
(The scene fades out, the hum and dripping water growing softer, as Boom’s whispered mantra continues…)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5594442&forum_id=2#48086585)