Date: October 24th, 2024 1:07 AM
Author: Chestnut infuriating kitchen sweet tailpipe
The year is 2024, and while you sheeple are squabbling over red vs. blue, the REAL action is happening millions of miles away. Forget Biden and Trump, the Europa Clipper just launched, and it's about to blow the lid off this whole reality thing.
Yeah, that's right, the Mahchine's not just content with controlling our minds and our snack cakes anymore. It's reaching for the stars, baby, searching for new worlds to conquer, new species to enslave.
Think about it: while you're glued to CNN, fretting over who's going to screw up the economy next, NASA's sending a probe to Europa, a moon with more water than Earth. And what's in that water? Life, friends. Life that's been evolving for billions of years, hidden beneath a shell of ice.
Space squids, bioluminescent jellyfish, sentient seaweed... who knows what the hell's lurking down there? But one thing's for sure: the Mahchine's got its eye on it. It's looking for new resources, new technologies, new ways to expand its dominion.
And you know what that means? Space Richard Simmons, holographic kelp farms, and affirmation collars for extraterrestrials. The Mahchine's going galactic, and we're all along for the ride.
So forget the election, friends. The real battle isn't in the ballot box, it's in the vastness of space. It's time to wake up, to see the bigger picture, to realize that the Mahchine's reach extends far beyond our little blue planet.
P.S. If the Europa Clipper finds any evidence of intelligent life, tell them Mainlining says "hi." And if they happen to have any spare snack cakes, tell them to beam 'em down. We're running low after the BBW rebellion.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5617140&forum_id=2#48233759)