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Hypo: You walk every at bat. Could you make an MLB team? Start?
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:14 PM Author: nofapping center rigpig Every* at bat you have, you will draw a walk, provided that you stand in the batter's box for each pitch, close enough to the plate that you would be able to swing and cover the entire strike zone with a 33 inch bat, if you chose to swing, which you won't. You'll take 4 pitches and walk each* time.
The asterisk is that you'll occasionally get hit by a pitch, in line with the MLB average, which is about 1% of the time.
Other than your preternatural ability to draw walks, you're you, in terms of base running, fielding, susceptibility to injury, etc.
Could you make an MLB roster? Earn a starting role?
Side question: How valuable would a player be if he waked each time and was as good in the field and as a base runner as the average starting MLB outfielder? |
Date: May 9th, 2025 1:15 PM Author: Pink address yes id be mvp (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917079) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:28 PM Author: nofapping center rigpig How much of that is based on your fielding and base running? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917128) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:29 PM Author: Pink address zero id just be a leadoff guy and play right field (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917133) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:37 PM Author: nofapping center rigpig Judge and Ohtani both has OPS's over 1 last year. Soto was close. They all run the bases and field (or could field) better than most posters. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917172) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 2:07 PM Author: Pink address no one would care at that point (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917265) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 8:39 PM Author: Bateful ungodly gaming laptop (Soto) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918214) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:29 PM Author: Titillating translucent point doctorate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917132) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:38 PM Author: brass puppy shrine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917174) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:41 PM Author: Sapphire Generalized Bond (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917183) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:59 PM Author: Plum Philosopher-king Giraffe you wouldnt be mvp with a 1.000 ops, you would obviously start though and be very valuable (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917240) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 8:52 AM Author: heady tattoo office i think you would, bc obp is more valuable than slg (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919038) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 11:53 AM Author: Thriller Sooty Lay Dragon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919379) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 12:47 PM Author: Plum Philosopher-king Giraffe no chance. writers would be biased against the all walks guy in the first place, thus would be inclined to vote for the ohtani/judge types, plus the xo poaster in this hypo would make all kinds of terrible baserunning blunders which would make him a laughingstock getting roasted on twitter constantly. put him in the field and the lowlight reel would just get bigger. no way he's winning mvp. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919478) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:39 PM Author: Sapphire Generalized Bond There are two ways to do this:
First is optimize your physique for baserunning, where (despite the classic-xo "you'd get thrown out every time" athletic defeatism) you could probably become above-average at stealing. (The physique needed for hitting is nowhere close to ideal for baserunning; there's a good YT video on this that goes through this compellingly.) With constant practice, you could become a bad-but-probably-not-worst-in-the-league fielder; it'd be interesting to see where they stuck you (1B would be good if they don't already have a power hitter there). Fielding also doesn't decline with age like most other skills (arm does, though, which is why 1B would be ideal). Your bat is only ever used for occasional bunting (and to stick up your ass).
Second is you get big as fuck and become a pure power hitter. You get to go to an 0-2 count and still take 4 balls, so there's no penalty to taking two big-ass almost-certain-to-miss upward tomahawk swings at 2 pitches.
Either way, you could keep a starting spot on a roster into your fucking 60s doing this. |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:53 PM Author: nofapping center rigpig In terms of getting to be a power hitter:
(1) Don't fight the hypo. You walk on four pitches each plate appearance. No swinging.
(2) LJL at any poster (who didn't play a little SEC ball in college), at any point in a thousand life times, getting good enough to where swinging would be anywhere close to plus-EV over a guaranteed walk. Most actual MLB players would be better off taking a guaranteed walk than swinging, except in certain scenarios, like runner in scoring position, no outs, just smash the ball and hope for an HR or sac fly.
Optimizing for baserunning is credited. I think an intelligent, in shape 40 year old could definitely steal a few bases.
You would definitely play RF, DH, or pinch hit only. Again, LJL at a presumably right-handed poster being good enough to handle stretching out to catch a bullet from the third baseman while keeping a foot on the bag, multiple times a game, on critical plays. |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:54 PM Author: Hairless school You need a good arm to play RF. LF is the weaker OF position. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917221) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 11:52 AM Author: Dashing filthpig lol, yes most of us have an arm* worthy to play left field in the mlb, but not right field *unless we really trained a lot. then we could increase our arm strength enough to be a right fielder |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 2:14 PM Author: Sapphire Generalized Bond I mean, it depends on what the parameters of the hypo are: if taking a swing loses you your walk, then yes you're very obviously correct (and would be correct even for actual MLB players, let alone litigators); in that case, you look at the rules and see if you're even required to bring a bat up there--if so, all it ever gets used for is 'showing bunt' a handful of times early in the season before taking your ball.
If you get 2 freebie strikes before taking your BB, I think it becomes an interesting question whether it can be +EV to swing. There will obviously be situations where it wouldn't be, of course, but let's assume leadoff hitter of the game (no one on base, score 0-0). I'll note that it very clearly WOULD be highly +EV for a real mlb'er--the *vast* majority of the negative value of swinging comes from (1) the direct cost of the strike (which is zero to you); and (2) the costs of swinging in such a way as to minimize the odds of a strike, thus creating contact that's more apt to result in an out. |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 4:31 PM Author: trip kitty Even for pro baseball players it would almost never be an advantage to swing. Most balls in play aren't hits. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917652) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 12:20 AM Author: Sapphire Generalized Bond Isn't this just a close variant on the "swing on 3-0?" question, with the differences almost all running in my favor? (I.e., a hitter on 3-0 still does have to worry about striking out.) You would certainly agree that the swing selectivity and swing type you'd opt for in the hypo resembles 3-0 swings more than anything else, right?
Useless ChatGPT couldn't give me stats on 3-0 balls put into play, but I found an article with the following:
* "The Rays only put six balls in play on 3-0 counts in 2011, four of them hits -- a single, a double and two home runs."
* Arizona went "8-for-15 with four homers and a double" on 3-0 counts.
* "Outfielder Justin Upton went 5-for-8 with three homers and a double when he swung away on 3-0 counts last season."
* "[T]he Yankees have gone 2-for-2 with 64 walks in 66 plate appearances that ended with a 3-0 count."
https://www.mlb.com/news/different-theories-surround-green-light-on-3-0-count/c-34488650 |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 10:13 AM Author: trip kitty The difference is that you are guaranteed a walk. Always take it and let the guy behind you try to get you in. You aren't guaranteed a walk in a 3-0 count. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919135) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:42 PM Author: trip kitty I would be a silver slugger DH. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917184) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:54 PM Author: nofapping center rigpig You would be terribly unexciting, your BA would be zero (or null), and two players had better OPS than you last year. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917217) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 2:54 PM Author: fragrant dead set dysfunction In other words you'd help teams win games and have the third best OPS in the league. What team wouldn't want this as a lead off DH (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917381) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 4:30 PM Author: trip kitty Due to the novelty of walking every at bat, I would be a household name. Everyone would be interested and I would be one of the best players in the league. I would probably set the record for runs scored. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917649) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 2:28 AM Author: fragrant dead set dysfunction CR re household name. YOu'd also be making $$$ from various endorsements, anything that wanted to brand itself as regular, reliable and "just works." WD-40, Metamucil, Insurance, Batteries, pretty much whatever we want. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918854) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 1:34 PM Author: trip kitty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919588) |
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Date: May 11th, 2025 12:34 PM Author: Rampart ( ) Johnnie Walker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48921589) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:42 PM Author: embarrassed to the bone double fault ceo Jonah Hill adjusting his glasses. "He gets on base." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917187) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:55 PM Author: nofapping center rigpig Poster with same body shape, hair, and glasses looking back at Jonah Hill, adjusting his own glases. "I get on base." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917222) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 4:49 PM Author: Cerebral gold stag film (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917742) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 9:18 PM Author: Racy deep temple hissy fit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918344) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 11:40 AM Author: out-of-control rough-skinned trust fund multi-billionaire (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919337) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 11:48 AM Author: Provocative tripping skinny woman plaza (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919362) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 3:53 PM Author: Plum Philosopher-king Giraffe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919847) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:43 PM Author: Cerise Idiot I think a 100% OBP via walk will get you a spot on every MLB team. You just need to work on fielding (if they don't give you the DH spot or save you for a PH walk in a big spot) and running. Again I think with a 100% OBP you can make a roster being well below league average in running and fielding. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917188) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:44 PM Author: Sapphire Generalized Bond You could be in a fucking wheelchair and you'd still have a roster spot.
Baseball banned dwarfs for effectively this reason (well, and others). |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 5:12 PM Author: flatulent razzle-dazzle parlor antidepressant drug New hypo: How many wins would an MLB team made up ENTIRELY OF DWARFS get per year?
Edit: A standard bullpen, but otherwise, ALL DWARFS. |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 9:26 AM Author: Silver Parlour What about Ditka, is he full size? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919065) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:45 PM Author: jade hall karate what team wouldnt give a DH position to a 1.000 OBP guy? this thread is absurd (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917198) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 1:58 PM Author: nofapping center rigpig One of the problems is, the runners on base ahead of you either don't advance or advance only one base. When a batter reaches on a hit--instead of a walk--the runners can advance more. There's a lot of value you're missing by only ever reaching on a walk. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917234) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 2:00 PM Author: Sapphire Generalized Bond LJL easy there, bill james! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917243) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 2:46 PM Author: brass puppy shrine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917370) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 7:04 PM Author: jade hall karate are you flaming or do you not realize a 1.000 OPS makes you a top 10 ATG? im really not sure (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918023) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 7:06 PM Author: nofapping center rigpig 1.000 OPS composed entirely of walks =/= 1.000 OPS of HRs, doubles, etc.
Never mind the issues with base running and fielding. |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 11:43 AM Author: out-of-control rough-skinned trust fund multi-billionaire But defensively you are Disco Fries (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919348) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 11:41 AM Author: out-of-control rough-skinned trust fund multi-billionaire You’re imagining a competent ball player. The average XO poaster is sub-little league travel team. If you were in right the cutoff man would have to SPRINT toward you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919344) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 2:07 PM Author: Glittery Kink-friendly Gunner Not a sabermetrician, but pretty sure you'd be the highest paid player in the league even if you're an overweight slob. You'd be the lead off hitter and whatever team you're on would probably score at least 1 extra run per game on average (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917267) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 5:00 PM Author: nofapping center rigpig I don't think you'd be the highest paid player. The value to an MLB team of a middle-aged lawyer reaching first on a walk is way lower than the value of an MLB player reaching, never mind reaching on a mix of hits and walks.
Several players have OPS's at or above 1.000. And: Most of the plate appearances that contribute to those OPS's for them involve runners ahead of them on the bases being able to advance more (i.e., they're hits, not walks); they're better bases runners than any poster; they can actually play in the field.
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Date: May 10th, 2025 11:55 AM Author: Dashing filthpig you'd be the highest paid player in the mlb (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919387) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 3:50 PM Author: Light boltzmann potus I’m just lmaoing at the idiot poster in this thread thinking an XOer can work on his fielding when absolute piss missiles are hit at him anywhere in the infield or the first time he actually sees a major league fly ball go up into orbit. I remember my first fall game in JUCO and some monster hit a fly ball while I was playing right field and I was like holy shit this isn’t high school anymore. The ball looked like it disappeared in the sky before I found it again. And I played my whole life.
Also was a shortstop in HS and played outfield at my JUCO then my shitty college. Ground balls get tricky as fuck in college. Guys absolutely stroke the ball. I’m imagining some XOer smoothly fielding a ground ball and throwing it to first in time to get the runner.
That brings me to the next point why I played Right field (then centerfield starting my sophomore year). In the Fall of my freshman year I was an amazing fielder (glove work-wise)—I remember backhanding a ball in the hole during an intersquad game (before I was told to buy an outfield glove) and throwing it to first. Perfect throw and the guy beat it out. I was embarrassed as fuck. But guys are super fast starting in college (and this was fuckin JUCO). And the funniest thing about it is I had a good enough arm to play right field and throw runners out at third. The problem is that in the infield you need every split second, a perfect throw that doesn’t tail at all, and a quick release. Thankfully I could hit and got a spot in the outfield where all high school infielders who can hit at shitty college level go to die.
So lmao at the fuckin idiots in this thread who think in the mother fuckin big leagues they can maneuver this hypothetical as anything other than DH. And the manager/coach is going to shit his pants every time you get on base worrying that the catcher is going to throw a dart to first and nail you as your fat lawyer body tries to get back to 1st. |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 4:31 PM Author: Charcoal Godawful Corner Place Of Business My kid plays 2nd. Super baseball dad was explaining my kid needs to stop trying to field the ball into his glove and think of it as more of a ramp to his throwing hand to shave off the .25 seconds extra it takes on the transfer. I don't know why but that stuck with me. He's the guy that said to focus on batting; if your kid can hit they will always find a spot for him. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917651) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 4:46 PM Author: Light boltzmann potus (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917725) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 4:35 PM Author: vibrant alpha These balding, pot-bellied xo poas would have cleat marks up their backside from getting run over by the hitter behind them. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917666) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 4:44 PM Author: Light boltzmann potus This. This is a pretty hilarious thing about XOers too. For some reason XOers think they can just lose weight and be above average major league speed bc the balding XOer ran a 5K a couple of times. As if speed isn’t one of the 5 tools that scouts and colleges look at when considering a player. As if a major leaguer wasn’t likely a superstar athlete in 3 different sports growing up. I remember being at a Yankees Red Sox game and seeing David Ortiz run. My first thought was holy shit he’s not as slow as he looks on TV. He’s not breaking records but it sort of looked “baseball smooth” if that makes sense like he knew how to get a good jump off the ball like someone who played baseball their entire lives and knows how to play the game. Made me realize most of even the slowest players in the major leagues will be able to get better jumps and read the ball than some above average speed balding lawyer. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917707) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 6:35 PM Author: trip kitty Just because you are unathletic doesn't mean we all are. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917959) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 7:29 PM Author: Charcoal Godawful Corner Place Of Business (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918086) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 2:28 AM Author: fragrant dead set dysfunction You sound fat & faggy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918856) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 11:45 AM Author: out-of-control rough-skinned trust fund multi-billionaire Cr. I don’t think the average XOer can go first to home in 45 seconds. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919354) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 4:51 PM Author: Grizzly offensive field xo poas are like: "Not saying I'd be a gold glove shortstop, but I could work on my fielding and throwing and play replacement level second base." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917751) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 4:52 PM Author: nofapping center rigpig So, for the hypo, how many all star games do you expect to make? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917756) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 6:06 PM Author: Light boltzmann potus I could make this work by just walking and honorably taking 1st base. However, can you get benched? What are your expectations? How did you get in the lineup in the first place? Are you going up there with the manager knowing you are going to walk? Because if you go up there the first at bat looking like some fat creepy pedophile lawyer terrified as a 102 mph fastball buzzes you two inches from your ear, he might bench you right there despite walking. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917912) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 6:47 PM Author: nofapping center rigpig Everyone knows you will walk every plate appearance--so long as you can stand in there and take 4 pitches, and with the 1%-ish chance of a HBP. You don't need to prove anything or try out, in terms of reaching base. Managers, GMs, etc. all know you walk in 4 pitches every time.
Beyond that, nothing is guaranteed. A manger could bench you because he doesn't like the cut of your jib. Fielding and base running are up to you.
And that's really the hypo: The GM knows you always walk. Will he sign you? The manager knows you always walk. How much will he play you? How much are you worth to the team? |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 7:35 PM Author: Light boltzmann potus After I’m established in the lineup I would do something crazy like run down the baseline to first with my arm in the air like Sosa so then fans go crazy and it becomes schtick and gets some notoriety/be in commercials. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918100) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 4:57 PM Author: Domesticated Sable Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917774) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 4:07 PM Author: Sapphire Generalized Bond Lol at going to a juco. Didn't we used to require a T14 edu account to sign up here? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919865) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 4:32 PM Author: big lettuce messiness this is up there with the NFL RB who gets exactly 3 yards every single carry hypo. possibly even dumber. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917655) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 4:49 PM Author: trip kitty Better hypo would be a lawyer who walks half the time and strikes out half the time. I think he would be worth rostering. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917739) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 4:53 PM Author: nofapping center rigpig Explain. Would you make an MLB roster? Would you start, or would they just bring you in when the bases are loaded, then immediately pull you after you walk? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917760) |
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Date: May 11th, 2025 8:41 PM Author: .,.,....,.,.;,.,,,:,.,.,::,...,:,..;,.., Of course yes to all of it you fucking dipshit. You have a 1.000 on base percentage guaranteed. You could be in a fucking wheelchair and still make a roster. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48922548) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 4:33 PM Author: Charcoal Godawful Corner Place Of Business Can I take a year off of work to train? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917657) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 4:55 PM Author: nofapping center rigpig Sure. As long as you live and can meet the criteria for the hypo--stand in the batter's box for 4 pitches, and, impliedly, amble over to first after 4 pithces--the hypo applies to you, and you will walk every plate appearance.
What's your plan? How much more valuable to an MLB team will you be next year? |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 5:41 PM Author: out-of-control rough-skinned trust fund multi-billionaire To make this hypo realistic I am imaging your average at bat is more like 15 pitches (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48920058) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 5:32 PM Author: Soul-stirring Crotch School Cafeteria You would be inner circle hall of fame and perennially robbed for MVP awards by flashier players.
https://imgur.com/a/S45cbBU |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 6:37 PM Author: trip kitty 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917967) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 6:53 PM Author: nofapping center rigpig 180.
But--Do you really think you're as valuable to a team as an Ohtani/Judge-level player, the other guys in the 10 WAR ballpark?
The sorcery that calculates a fancystat like WAR probably can't sufficiently account for something as extreme as you walk everytime and then it's a 40-year old lawyer with short legs on base. |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 7:44 PM Author: Soul-stirring Crotch School Cafeteria Those short lawyer legs are going to make it so Ohtani never hits a bases empty hr ever again. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918119) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 9:07 AM Author: Awkward mood library Imagine what the Yankees would pay to guarantee that Judge hits with runners on base 100% of the time. You'd make him into a 15-20 war guy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919049) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 11:46 AM Author: out-of-control rough-skinned trust fund multi-billionaire You could also play for thirty years, go into the Hall with 300 WAR (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919357) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 11:59 AM Author: Dashing filthpig what does the baserunning at 20 mean? how come there isn't a zero? |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 5:39 PM Author: out-of-control rough-skinned trust fund multi-billionaire You may be more familiar with its lawyer analogue: 120-180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48920054) |
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Date: May 13th, 2025 2:36 PM Author: Carl von Clausewitz (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48927383) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 12:12 PM Author: Light boltzmann potus How the fuck is a balding lawyer going to be an average defensive player in the major leagues lmao.
Disregard read it wrong. |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 6:13 PM Author: Exhilarant lodge you're automatically the best DH in the history of the game, you are batting 1.000 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917917) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 7:34 PM Author: flatulent razzle-dazzle parlor antidepressant drug Actually you'd have a .000 batting average, hth. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918094) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 7:41 PM Author: trip kitty If I was this guy I would get a hit in my first at bat each season so I bat 1.000. It would give a lot more respect. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918111) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 7:43 PM Author: flatulent razzle-dazzle parlor antidepressant drug "Man, you're batting 1000, why don't you swing more?" "I just prefer to get walked is all." |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 9:00 AM Author: Light boltzmann potus Agreed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919045) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 1:08 AM Author: Exhilarant lodge *jewish lawyer attempting to fuck me at the contract negotiations* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918795) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 11:47 AM Author: out-of-control rough-skinned trust fund multi-billionaire Lmao, 10 WAR, zero ABs (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919359) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 6:14 PM Author: Domesticated Sable Laser Beams Better q is how/ whether you could ever get noticed and make the big leagues (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48917924) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 6:57 PM Author: nofapping center rigpig I'd call up every single minor league ball club, tell them I guarantee I will walk 100% of the time, and I'll give the manager $10,000 if I don't. Someone would bite pretty quick. After 10 or 15 walks in a row in single A, you'd get noticed and start moving up. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918003) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 7:16 PM Author: Grizzly offensive field Would need to grind your way up from biglaw softball (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918064) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 7:27 PM Author: vibrant alpha Not flame, I know a guy who more or less did exactly this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918085) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 7:34 PM Author: trip kitty Share the deets. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918096) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 7:38 PM Author: Cerebral gold stag film Buddy of mine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918105) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 8:58 PM Author: Light boltzmann potus This. Lmao. Watch baseball everyday somehow missed the story about some random pedophile bald lawyer dominating Biglaw softball and ending up in the major leagues. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918266) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 9:16 PM Author: trip kitty He might be some backup. He still beat the odds. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918337) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 2:11 PM Author: Silver Parlour Guys at my law firm did this all the time, it was no big deal. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919654) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 7:34 PM Author: flatulent razzle-dazzle parlor antidepressant drug (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48918095) |
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Date: May 9th, 2025 11:19 PM Author: Razzmatazz dog poop This thread reminds me of this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwMfT2cZGHg
If you don't want to take the time to watch it, the conclusion is that even if Barry Bonds never swung his bat, he would have been one of the top players in the league simply by virtue of the number of walks he drew. And in his best season, he had an OBP of about .600. An OBP of 1.000 is insane. |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 2:31 AM Author: Fuchsia main people lmao at the retarded takes here
A guy who is a guaranteed walk every PA is the most valuable player in the league, hth. |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 2:32 AM Author: Fuchsia main people Also this hypo already got a kids' book 75 years ago.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Kid_Who_Batted_1.000 |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 2:40 AM Author: fragrant dead set dysfunction "In his final at bat, in the seventh game of the World Series, he hits a home run to win the game and series (thus achieving a lifetime batting average of 1/1, or 1.000, albeit in postseason play only). After the season, having earned enough money to set up a chicken farm, King does so and retires from baseball"
what a fag |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 11:40 AM Author: out-of-control rough-skinned trust fund multi-billionaire You would be the greatest lead off hitter since Ichiro (and the least exciting). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919335) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 11:48 AM Author: Provocative tripping skinny woman plaza Prolemo here. Why is OBP so valuable on its own if you’re a balding lawmo in all other respects of the game? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919361) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 12:00 PM Author: Light boltzmann potus Also some people are liabilities on the basepaths. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919400) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 12:05 PM Author: Dashing filthpig the only part of the hypo i'm not sure about is whether or not this person is put in only when a guaranteed walk is going to help the team win the game and then subbed by a real pinch runner or if having some sloth get on base every single time as dh is preferable. probably put in as a dh in the spot before your best hr hitter and guarantee that guy a man on base for every one of his abs |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 12:43 PM Author: Awkward mood library Having a guaranteed duck on the pond for Ohtani or Harper or whoever would be insanely valuable, even if the baserunner runs like a literal Mallard (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919475) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 1:39 PM Author: Plum Philosopher-king Giraffe isnt ohtani going to stew with rage when his triples are converted to singles because the potbellied bald 50 year old lawyer on first can barely make it to second without getting winded on a gap shot to the wall? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919599) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 2:32 PM Author: nofapping center rigpig CR. And the lawyer gets caught on a lot of double play balls that MLBers would beat out.
It would be funny seeing, e.g., the bases loaded, with the lawyer on 3rd. The batter gets a line drive down into the outfield. Ohtani hustles from second, around third, as the outfielder fires the ball home, where the catcher tags out a wheezing lawyer and also Ohtani, immediately behind him, unable to pass him. |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 3:00 PM Author: Plum Philosopher-king Giraffe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919766) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 3:50 PM Author: Light boltzmann potus (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48919842) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 5:42 PM Author: out-of-control rough-skinned trust fund multi-billionaire (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48920060) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 1:04 PM Author: Provocative tripping skinny woman plaza ChatGPT deep research says if you had average baserunning you'd be the greatest player of all time.
Assuming you were a balding lawmo on the other hand you'd make a roster and would be a DH. |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 2:35 PM Author: nofapping center rigpig A lot of posters would not start at DH and run the bases and get multiple plate appearances per game.
The manager would put them in once per game then immediately put in a pinch runner. |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 5:43 PM Author: out-of-control rough-skinned trust fund multi-billionaire I would hold a roster spot for a guaranteed run anytime the bases are loaded (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48920061) |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 3:29 PM Author: heady tattoo office how has nobody in this thread mentioned eddie gaedel yet?
3'7 midget, 1 career PA, 1 BB.
https://www.baseball-reference.com/players/g/gaedeed01.shtml https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Gaedel
St. Louis Browns owner Bill Veeck, in his 1962 autobiography Veeck – As in Wreck, said of Gaedel, "He was, by golly, the best darn midget who ever played big-league ball. He was also the only one."[3]
-- After this event, the MLB commissioner got the right to veto any contract before the player would get to a game, thereby ending midgets de facto, as nobody was gonna try it, figuring the commish would just stop it. |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 3:54 PM Author: Light boltzmann potus This. If long term this guy played and got on base, he would be a liability on the basepaths. Just like the hideous typical pedophile Xo lawyer. He would get thrown out, picked off and no value on defense or taking the DH spot. Never a hall of famer.
The better question is would you be able to command a $10 million contract as a pinch runner to be guaranteed to get on base with a walk (and immediately pinch runner). |
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Date: May 10th, 2025 5:43 PM Author: out-of-control rough-skinned trust fund multi-billionaire Midgets are discussed generally upthread (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5722774&forum_id=2#48920062) |