Pensive and Media Kid are both Mike Church, a recent Carleton grad and current Wisconsin grad student who started posting on the law board after the college board got tired of him.
He recently had a huge-ass mental breakdown after an all-night posting spree making fun of Joe from Caltech, the preferred target for his jealousy. You may know pensive as the guy who views human relationships as equations, believes that if a girl doesn't like him she's "unprestigious" (the corollary to this, of course, is that "nearly all women are unprestigious"!) and apparently has something called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He believes his invention of the game called "Ambition" to be a significant achievement--on par with founding a successful business--and expends a lot of energy trolling for it on the internet, trying to plant references to it in Wikipedia, etc., without too much luck. (Refusing to believe that the game is without merit, he attributes this to un-named forces out there in cyberspace conspiring against him, making repeated reference to a bunch of people he pissed off at Carleton whom he believes are behind this.)
He promised to leave and seek mental help after his all-night ragefest (which he professed not to remember at all the next day), and he actually did briefly stop posting--as pensive, at least. Remarkably, the posting rate for "Media Kid" skyrocketed right about this time, with MK's number one topic being, of course, how misunderstood and maligned "pensive" really is.
After a few days of being subjected to this, a fed-up Carleton alum on the board who knew Mike in person from school started posting excerpts from Mike's online "User File," a Carleton web board where he often argued with people at his school, the main topics being things like his card game, why he can't get a date, and how most women are stupid compared to him. Anyway, he did this in the form of a very funny Onion column by "taking questions" and then answering them with excerpts from Mike's writing.
A few days ago Mike abandoned all pretense and started making the occasional post as pensive again. That's more or less where we stand now.
Date: December 6th, 2005 7:51 PM Author: Irradiated iridescent fat ankles Subject: Hi, pensive. How about I annotate it for eveyone out there, OK?
In this post, I backup EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING I SAID, and you stop making stuff up. Thanks.
Pensive and Media Kid are both Mike Church, a recent Carleton grad and current Wisconsin grad student who started posting on the law board after the college board got tired of him, outed him--he initially denied it-- At college, when the subject of college admissions boards... (and pwned him repeatedly). (Pensive got pwned by Joe and below are pretty entertaining, especially GTO.)
He promised to leave I will leave xoxo soon [pensive] and seek mental help WTF just happened? [pensive] after his all-night ragefest (which he professed not to remember at all the next day WTF just happened? [pensive] ), and he actually did briefly stop posting--as pensive, at least. Remarkably, the posting rate for "Media Kid" skyrocketed right about this time, with MK's number one topic being, of course, how misunderstood and maligned "pensive" really is. PENSIVE = MEDIA KID There was also a funny episode where "Media Kid" tried to claim that his absolutely extensive knowledge of Mike Church came from the fact that Mike was writing a book about his life, which "MK" had gotten ahold of. This idea was roundly mocked by all parties on the law board: Pensive's BookI'm convinced that pensive is the biggest asshole ever
A few days ago Mike abandoned all pretense and started making the occasional post as pensive or obvious derivatives again (see: this thread, I can't believe pensive came back and similar). That's more or less where we stand now.
Thank you. I honestly do consider it a public service.
(And also, as with the above poster, recommend those links--the first one, for example, is when he was first outted by a College Board poster named Surely Funke--used to be "use a toothbrush"--who went to Carleton and recognized his posting style immediately. Later pwnage, as in Renada Deshada's work on Media Kid = pensive, is also entertaining.)
Date: December 6th, 2005 8:41 PM Author: odious legal warrant main people
Awesome. The early college board pensive stuff is the best, probably because there he was immediately ridiculed from day 1 whereas here he lasted a little longer.
That's a good point. It's hilarious that he's that much like he is in real life to be noticed immediately by someone from his school once he started posting.
Date: September 7th, 2008 4:36 PM Author: Deep parlor
A lot of the shit he said actually failed on checking. He was mad because I "outed" the fact that his mother actually wasn't dead, despite his trolls for sympathy. I actually sent his family some of his postings.
i'd still say he's a decent guy who is put to having to justify himself to such an unrelenting extent that it would alter anyone for the worse. when he's just allowed to participate normally among eveyone else -- and when he doesn't attempt to separate himself - he's quite funny and perceptive. something like inventing a card game is a relatively interesting pasttime. but here it's only portrayed as either idiotic (by everyone but him) or heroic.
he's constantly observing things, and does have a unique, intelligent take. for a math person, he's got an exceptional literary sensibility. it would clearly be better to have his better self around than to drive him away.
still, OTJ has done a remarkable job memorializing this moment in board history.
he may say something perceptive here and there once in a while, but largely it's just about elite this and elite that, without even any hint of comedy. final verdict: he's seriously fucked-up.
check out where he drops the self-promotion. obviously, i see your point. "media kid" is a particularly abysmal creation. but i find the true imbeciles -- e.g., "okay" -- to be a far greater menace.
The true imbeciles (like okay or &# or .... or whatever that fool is calling herself today) mark themselves out pretty easily. Mike actively intends to deceive, and won't even admit to his very, very, very obvious multiple monikers.
it does sort of run aground when he gets adamant about that. i think he has a stake, as any of us might, in being able to create credible alter-egos. admitting that he is media kid is also an admission that he's not very good at doing that. a lot of people inside the writing world denigrate the ability to render onself, and equate true talent/skill with writing in a different voice. so it could be that he's not merely being obstinate in the face of having been obviously exposed. maybe that's too charitable. but i'd be inclined to give him a free out from all this and allow him to start anew.
I don't think he's ever really admitted that he's bad at anything, or that any significant "flaw" in his profile is actually 100% his fault. There's an excuse for everything--like the way he insists that he would've gotten into any undergrad school in the country (despite the fact that he only applied to Harvard and about 3 other not-too-competitive places, and was rejected at Harvard), or the fact that he goes to the #13 math school (claims that people from LACs can't get any higher than that), etc.
The multiple monikers are just another example of that. His very first post on the board was under another moniker "secret21" and he denied that even after it because abundantly obvious that it was the same as pensive, who was the same as Mike Church of Carleton, etc.
Date: December 6th, 2005 10:53 PM Author: razzle-dazzle harsh half-breed
"There's an excuse for everything--like the way he insists that he would've gotten into any undergrad school in the country (despite the fact that he only applied to Harvard and about 3 other not-too-competitive places, and was rejected at Harvard), or the fact that he goes to the #13 math school (claims that people from LACs can't get any higher than that), etc."
It's pretty much a wrap that I could have gotten into Harvard undergrad if I hadn't semi-intentionally blown the interview by admitting I didn't want to go. In any case, it doesn't matter because I was a lock on a more prestigious undergrad, Princeton, if I wanted to go. (At the time I didn't.) This was on account of knowing a top professor there who would have green-lighted me.
Students from LACs can get in higher than #13. In fact, I got into Michigan (#8) and, in a very close decision, chose Wisconsin. My reasons for this were complex and it truly was a 51/49, last-minute decision.
It is somewhat harder to get into the top 5-10 math or science departments from an LAC, but it can be done; I wasn't a strong enough applicant to do so, but I know people who would be. Anyone who wants my thoughts or advice on the matter should contact me in private and we'll chat about it.
Date: December 6th, 2005 11:02 PM Author: mahogany razzle filthpig
Just shut up. You've been discredited. "Pretty much a wrap"--completely laughable.
The above post pretty much lays you bare to the world, with all the cites right there for everyone to see, from the first lie (called "secret21") to the last (called "Media Kid").
Date: December 6th, 2005 11:13 PM Author: mahogany razzle filthpig
Use a toothbrush doesn't make posts repeatedly defending you and saying preposterous things that only you believe, all while writing in exactly the same style you do.
You really don't realize how obvious you are, do you? Back when it was "secret21," she picked you out of the crowd immediately. When you switched to "pensive," GTO and some others knew it had to be you, too. By the time you got to "Potential," "JohnTheJanitor," "Media Kid," and all of your myriad other recent monikers, essentially the entire board knew instantly that they all had to be you.
Date: December 7th, 2005 12:05 AM Author: razzle-dazzle harsh half-breed
JohnTheJanitor is DeanRobbins, the retired community account. I have no idea who Potential is, though it is irksome that he uses the account only to talk about me. Media Kid I am not, though I suppose I should just claim to be him, since it would make both of us more prestigious.
this probably isn't a great place to repeatedly claim to have effectively picked carleton college over harvard and princeton. but, whatever; i'd genuinely prefer to hear stuff about ambition or moe of the interestingly offbeat stories that turned up in the question&answer thread.
and credit is due for giving an entirely credible take on the choice of a grad school
Date: December 7th, 2005 12:13 AM Author: razzle-dazzle harsh half-breed
I would still pick Carleton over Harvard.
Carleton is the top LAC in the Midwest; so if we classify schools according to model and location, it's the best in its class. Harvard loses to Princeton, Yale, and if you place MIT in the same "group", MIT too. Harvard, while hard to get into, is the mediocre college that rides on the coattails of a university that is actually great. Without Harvard University's graduate and research programs, HC wouldn't even be top 20 because its name would erode in status to that of a "merely good" New England college. So, with a choice between Harvard and Carleton, I'd pick Carleton and I'd advise anyone wanting to get a top-notch academic education to do the same.
The only thing Harvard has on Carleton is that it's somewhat harder to get into, and honestly I don't care about ~100 points in the average SAT scores (which is really the only significant difference). You can find great students at both.
Carleton vs. Princeton would be much more balanced, and a very difficult choice. At 17, I would've picked Carleton (obviously) but at 22, I honestly don't know. They're both great and intractibly different.
Date: December 7th, 2005 12:20 AM Author: zombie-like comical cuck azn
that's like saying a mercedes loses to lamburgini and ferrari, so in a choice between a brand new mercedes and a honda civic, since honda civic is a pretty good car for its class and has no immediate inferiors (let us suppose this for the sake of the argument), you'd pick the honda over the mercades. and that doesnt even address the fact that harvard doesnt lose out to yale or princeton, but i wont even bother arguing with you on that point.
Date: December 7th, 2005 1:00 AM Author: razzle-dazzle harsh half-breed
I think it's hard to compare a northeastern university to a Midwestern liberal-arts college, and that's why I place them in different classes. Teaching will be better at Carleton, but Harvard will have more research opportunities. It's a toss-up and depends on the type of student. Harvard College is actually quite mediocre. Do some research, n00b.
Date: December 7th, 2005 11:18 AM Author: razzle-dazzle harsh half-breed
Wrong. Everyone elite knows that, for getting an education, Princeton is the best of the Ivies. Yale is next. Moreover, MIT is better than Harvard. Harvard is a great university, but the College has shitty morale among its students, and is basically a four-year yacht party for rich people who don't want to have to work hard (with a few hard-working kids who utterly resent the general atmosphere). There's nothing wrong with that-- for some people it's quite a valuable experience-- but it's not ideal if you want a serious academic education. For that, you want one of the "academic five": Chicago, Princeton, Swarthmore, Carleton, and I forget what the other one is (one of the LACs).
Date: December 7th, 2005 11:30 AM Author: razzle-dazzle harsh half-breed
I've heard the phrase before, and I didn't invent it. I didn't claim it was widespread, or that every page that mentioned it had a magically high PageRank.
Date: December 6th, 2005 11:17 PM Author: mahogany razzle filthpig
Particularly so since all entities involved exist only in one young man's fevered imagination. Maybe he really does believe they're all independent. His psyche might be that messed up--like a partitioned hard drive, except human.
He didn't get into any of the top math programs. Went to a softbatch LAC for undergrad, the number 13 (yawn) school for grad school, and brags incessantly about once getting honorable mention in a math contest based on work not aligning particularly well with what is considered "real" academic math.
Date: December 6th, 2005 8:59 PM Author: 180 faggotry
You know, when you put it that way, I am actually more prestigious than pensive. I went to a softbatch LAC, and then got into a physics phd program that was ranked 10 at the time.
Yup. He thinks people from LAC's are somehow blacklisted from those kinds of programs because LAC's don't have classes that go far enough, or something. (It's basically just an excuse.)
You're way the hell more prestigious than pensive, for sure. Didn't you build a goddamn laser?
Date: December 6th, 2005 9:05 PM Author: 180 faggotry
I forgot about the laser thing.
That "not enough classes" thing is silly. Anyone looking at grad school from a LAC should be doing all independent study/research by senior year. If anything LAC kids have an advantage cause its easier to get a first authorship.
Date: December 6th, 2005 10:55 PM Author: razzle-dazzle harsh half-breed
Yeah, I would also agree on the advisement that an LAC student seeking top grad school placement should pursue several independent studies, as well as the Budapest Semester in Mathematics program (a great undergraduate math program.)
Date: December 7th, 2005 11:29 AM Author: 180 faggotry
Horrible advice. You need to be around for the full senior year to get a publication done. Publishing should be your single minded focus for your final year of school. No wonder you ended up at UW.
Date: December 8th, 2005 12:08 AM Author: crystalline adventurous spot
The card thing would be awesome if he didn't try to impress us with it, or constantly promote it, or constantly exaggerate its popularity and so on.
I don't know what you mean by literary sensibility, but his writing style sucks ass. I find it near impossible to suffer through his pomposity and extremely sterile way of wording things (don't call a woman outstanding and attractive...just say you wanted to bang her).
You keep saying he's great when he drops the self-promotion and such, but when the fuck does he do that? Even when he was claiming severe depression, he remarked about how prestigious mental illness is. That's absurd.
Date: December 8th, 2005 12:17 AM Author: razzle-dazzle harsh half-breed
I only brought up Ambition during the Joe Caltech flamewar, though others bring it up (usually to ridicule it) on occasion.
If I find a woman outstanding and attractive, I'll describe her that way. I agree with your comment on my writing style to the extent that I seem to lack as much range as I wish I had. I have a tendency to insist on precision and correctness from myself such a degree that my writing style becomes somewhat fustian, pedantic if you will. My speech is slightly more colloquial, but really just as bad. I only feel comfortable in one style of diction, which some receive as elevated but most as arrogant.
I didn't have severe depression; I have mild anxiety and depression, and as for "prestigious", I was trying to tie these facts into the prestige schtick, but I don't think it worked. In fact, they're reasons why I need to end the prestige schtick some time soon.
Date: December 8th, 2005 4:50 AM Author: Irradiated iridescent fat ankles
"I only brought up Ambition during the Joe Caltech flamewar,"
And it made you look damn stupid to do so, too. In the "real world" (you know, the one we, not you, live in) inventing a lame-ass card game ain't no Rhodes Scholarship.
Date: December 6th, 2005 11:14 PM Author: copper racy library
If you actually wrote something (didn't you say in the other thread that you had absolutely no time?) I highly doubt it ever got to the desk of anyone who matters.
Date: December 7th, 2005 12:03 PM Author: razzle-dazzle harsh half-breed
No, I'm just tired of his shit. If someone I respected asked me a question, I'd reply. However, can't edit me away! is effectively worthless so there's no point in replying with anything but a parry.
But it wasn't a parry--that's just it. It was more like tossing your rapier aside and baring your chest to be skewered (while screaming mom insults). I mean, yeah, you told a (pretty pathetic) "your mom" joke, but you still got totally pwned on the facts.
Date: December 7th, 2005 7:13 PM Author: razzle-dazzle harsh half-breed
Nah, just sick of these stupid stomping contests. Both GTO and I are more prestigious than you, trash-fucker, so the outcome of this little spat doesn't even matter from your perspective.
Date: December 7th, 2005 8:53 PM Author: razzle-dazzle harsh half-breed
I'm trying to quit the nasty habit of bragging, but now that you've baited me... national contest anthology (#3 entry out of thousands), a couple of publications internal to prior employers (but at the quality level of PRed academic pubs) including one of which I was the primary author, an influential magazine on game design, and Ambition was published (in Japanese) in a Japanese print magazine with circulation in the tens of thousands, if not hundreds. Bang! You lose. Now stop annoying me and shut the fuck up.
Date: December 7th, 2005 11:58 PM Author: razzle-dazzle harsh half-breed
They weren't memos you stupid fuck, they were internal research papers that were to be held to the same standard as PRed magazines. Why don't you go accomplish something instead of annoying me over the Internet?
Date: March 3rd, 2006 2:38 PM Author: Purple Trump Supporter
You fuckers should all know that this thread is the effort of one person congratulating himself under a bunch of different monikers (Old Tom Joad, can't edit me away!, et al).
Date: March 13th, 2006 10:32 AM Author: Cerebral idea he suggested
mike's a smart guy capable of uncommon insight. unfortunately, most often his head is a swarm of insecurity and delusion. to me, the bizarre recriminiation and lashing out always seemed pretty comical - a rat trying to chew himself out of a steel cage - but lately i've felt bad for the guy. to get a flavor for his neurosis, follow the links in the annotation old tom joad provided toward the beginning of the thread. someone summarize the whole PENSIVE thing please
It's a pathetic story. He could begin to cure himself by just leaving this board, admitting that he's got a real problem that he can't blame on others, and getting some serious counseling. That it doesn't happen is very unfortunate.
Date: March 13th, 2006 12:45 PM Author: Purple Trump Supporter
I'm amazed that people still care about this thread. Old Tom Joad's writing skills are so insufferably poor that there's really no point in reading anything he writes.
Date: March 13th, 2006 12:51 PM Author: Purple Trump Supporter
Yeah, I guess. I don't mind getting attention. I just hate when coprophiles like Old Tom Joad and can't edit! try to steal the attention I get. Can't those fuckers get attention on their own merits rather than on mine?
Date: March 13th, 2006 12:55 PM Author: Galvanic Cheese-eating Gas Station Famous Landscape Painting
It seems as though the attention that they get is indirect. Like, by posting in this thread, I'm obviously getting some level of attention, but it's all in the context of "pensive". Everything for you, Pensive!
Date: March 13th, 2006 12:59 PM Author: Purple Trump Supporter
That's a good point. Without me, Old Tom Joad would just be a dirty man in a cardboard box somewhere, masturbating all over himself. Yet, because of me, he's a celebrity. He owes his fucking life to me.
Date: December 8th, 2006 4:26 AM Author: Light Karate
So he's a big joke? I had gotten the idea he was respected. But I'm incapable of understanding sarcasm and it's usage. And that is real fun, actually it's not, see what I'm talking about?