Date: October 28th, 2009 1:47 AM Author: appetizing peach pistol office
*Intense pain jars you awake. Your arms, outstretched at your sides in a crucifixion pose, have been immobilized inside glass tanks. The rubber rings sealing your arms inside the tanks are incredibly tight, threatening amputation should you struggle. Your feet are restrained by ground level holes matching the width of your ankles.*
Hello, Bluesmoke. I want to play a game with you. For years you have benefited from unearned advantages, squandering the good will of society while accomplishing nothing. You were provided with every opportunity to succeed, yet at each stage of your life you morphed into a more evolved parasite as your ambitions lowered. Astronaut. Architect. Lawyer. Real estate agent. Teacher. Accountant. Babysitter. When you attempted to give back, instead you took more. As you were surrounded by the homeless, rather than help them, you succumbed to alcoholism and became one of them. Now you subsist on a meager diet of meals provided by the most desperate men in society.
I offer you a new ambition to strive towards: remain alive. Intravenous tubes are quickly filling your bloodstream with an anticoagulant agent. At the conclusion of this tape, the glass tanks restraining your arms will fill with leeches. Left unchecked, they have the capacity to drain every drop of blood from your body in four minutes. After two minutes elapse, a switch will descend from the ceiling. Pressing this switch with your forehead will unbind your arms. Be careful at this juncture. Killing a leech will release blood and pheromones, causing the remaining leeches to descend upon you in a ravenous frenzy. If you merely remove a leech, it will ooze back towards you and reattach. The only way to sate their hunger is by attaching them to another host. The cell below you contains a reprehensible human being. If you can hurl the leeches into the chute at the far side of this room, they will descend upon this person. How far will you go to stay alive? Will you sacrifice the life of another to save your own? The time has come to make your choice: Live, or die. Let the games begin.
Date: October 28th, 2009 2:03 AM Author: Lime angry faggot firefighter persian
"...at each stage of your life you morphed into a more evolved parasite as your ambitions lowered. Astronaut. Architect. Lawyer. Real estate agent. Teacher. Accountant. Babysitter."
OUTRAGEOUS Lawyer trolling. Real estate agents, Teachers and Accountants all provide demonstrably more useful services to society, and frankly so do most Babysitters probably.
real estate agents??? are you kidding? They are the ultimate unnecessary middleman that exists only so long as they can keep information from the general public.
Date: October 28th, 2009 2:11 AM Author: appetizing peach pistol office
Each one of my acts has been performed without secret communications or outside assistance. I am not a moderator, and my only contact with To be fair was posted for all to see.
Date: October 28th, 2009 2:14 AM Author: mauve swashbuckling macaca
Admirable that you responded. Although you and To be fair seem to share some sympathies, I'll go with this, although the writing style still seems similar to me. You've generally been above-board about things.
Date: October 28th, 2009 2:17 AM Author: Lime angry faggot firefighter persian
The board consensus is actually that TBF is one of the best posters currently active (n-threading aside) and has produced some of the most interesting music threads and delivered some of the best pwnings of 2009 u dumbass
Date: October 28th, 2009 2:18 AM Author: curious fat ankles station
hey calm down douche (you are tbf). i said the views weren't mine so get off my ass. tbf is just a random nigger threader who got pwn3d bigwillie style a couple times and talks about music. that's not enough to make you "one of the best posters currently active," tbf.
Date: October 28th, 2009 2:17 AM Author: mauve swashbuckling macaca
I'd disagree about To be fair. He's awful when it comes to a couple specific tangents, but excellent otherwise. I don't necessarily like all of his content, but he has posted enough that I have enjoyed to convince me he's talented.
Date: October 28th, 2009 11:14 AM Author: Tripping toaster
Yes, I think so too. He captured me in a small thread that was basically just me and TBF talking to one another. There was no one else in the thread but me and TBF and then Tobin Bell suddenly appeared.
Date: October 28th, 2009 12:16 PM Author: Costumed water buffalo
if she tries to thrust the leeches on someone else, its just another example of her hoisting her own problems on other people and not owning up to them.
if she tries to kill the leeches, the leeches swarm and kill her. she once again did not have the courage to do what was necessary (killing the other person).
if she tries to remove the leeches without killing them, she gets no where and the anticoagulant takes it toll. just another manifestation of her hesitant malaise.
Date: October 28th, 2009 12:18 PM Author: Tripping toaster
OK I have thought about it and made my decision. You're right, I have pretty much wasted my life and yes I have had a lot of opportunities. I doubt I will ever be what most would consider a successful person and I doubt I will ever be able to completely conquer my alcohol/psychological issues.
Also, though Dr. Science is really bad for cheating on his wife I think he's deep down a good dood and hopefully he can either find a way to reconcile his wife or maybe they'll finally get divorced and he'll find happiness with another woman. He seems to have it together aside from the relationship stuff and the alcohol (which I think results from the relationship problems). As such I don't want to kill him.
So I don't hit the switch. I just stay there and accept my fate.
Date: October 28th, 2009 2:22 PM Author: Tripping toaster
I think it's a lose-lose. If I kill Stabby I'm just being irresponsible and selfish and once again taking advantage of my "undeserved advantages." If I don't kill Stabby I die. In any case my dying seemed the better choice. By not clicking the switch the leeches are going to kill me quicker anyway. I don't see the point of killing some innocent leeches in the process.
"You were provided with every opportunity to succeed..."
1. Hit the button, get all of the leeches off stat. Talk to d00d underneath you, tell him you're going to throw one leech at a time to him so he can kill them w/o worrying about pheremones and shit since the leeches in your cell won't pick them up. Keep going, throwing one at a time down there as the d00d kills them until they're all gone. Then see if the d00d can help you with your feet situation. Maybe the early blood loss will make your feet shrink so you can get them out.
Date: October 28th, 2009 2:49 PM Author: chocolate weed whacker
The problem is that society will always favor you because of your race. Society will give you unfair chances. But you refuse them at every turn. Do you deny that if you applied for law school, you would do better than a white male with the same scores?
Date: October 28th, 2009 3:06 PM Author: chocolate weed whacker
Is there a mode where you aren't a short, ugly fuck who's married to a shorter and uglier version of yourself and who did not get fired from his shitty law firm's shitty foreign office? Because that's the mode I'd be looking for if I were you.
Date: October 28th, 2009 4:24 PM Author: frisky stage multi-billionaire
What, carrying the burgers inside? By the way, I'm pretty happy with my current job. Perhaps this is why I don't spend my days angry and futile on the internets!
Date: October 28th, 2009 2:44 PM Author: Doobsian police squad
She was a transfer applicant; transfer applicants are very rare at Yale and are used for a variety of types of candidates. It's not really in the normal pool.
Date: October 28th, 2009 2:45 PM Author: Tripping toaster
can we please not ruin this thread with an AA argument? you know these people are dying for the chance...
i was just curious as to what "opportunities" ive stolen. everyone talks about how i've never done anything prestigious, so what exactly are they talking about? it's not like i AA'ed my way into tons of high-powered jobs or something.
Date: October 28th, 2009 2:49 PM Author: Tripping toaster
yes, i did not. so wth is your point? you said i stole opportunities from people but as you said i never capitalized on these opportunities which were supposedly available. so how exactly did i deny someone else any opportunities? you can't have your cake and eat it too - which is it?
Date: October 28th, 2009 6:32 PM Author: Lime angry faggot firefighter persian
You stole a seat from another (probably white, maybe asian) candidate at Yale. You have a Yale degree, they don't and never will. Bottom line.
The fact that you subsequently didn't do anything with your shot and have squandered the opportunity doesn't change the fact that the individual whose seat you took probably would have done something with that spot and would be in a better position for it today had they had the education/degree that you have.
This is like saying that the little kid who butts in line at school lunch and takes the last hotdog and then throws it away instead of eating it hasn't hurt the kid who would've gotten the hotdog but for that. No idiot - the kid who would've gotten the hotdog is still hungry. Just because you're both hungry now because you didn't eat the hotdog doesn't change his position.
Date: October 28th, 2009 8:13 PM Author: Tripping toaster
um someone completely missed the point
i never argued with the claim about "stealing" a seat from someone at yale.
he said i used "unfair advantages" (AA i assume) to "steal" things from people on many occassions. i just asked him what occassions he was referring to (aside from yale). i hope you understand now.
Date: October 28th, 2009 2:58 PM Author: galvanic greedy address dog poop
ITT: TBF's monikers drum up "discussion" and "controversy" until he decides it's time to pwn BS, in which his monikers praise him for how brilliant he is.
STFU. I'm pretty positive Jigsaw is TBF, but I doubt he uses sock puppets. He doesn't need to -- Jigsaw is still an enjoyable shtick, as the abundance of obviously-non-sock-puppet monikers ITT can attest to.
TBF is well known for using many, many sock puppets to prime praise for his threads. A few of the dumber posters then get excited when they see other monikers heaping praise. He did this many times before ever conceiving the Jigsaw schtick.
Date: October 28th, 2009 4:30 PM Author: talented mental disorder
most people dont see how much work is really involved in this xo shit. i didnt know it. i didnt see it. i never saw it until i was actually in it. you really gotta be in it to understand what its like. but people always gotta see you act cool. you always gotta post those threads. you know what im saying man? no matter what you just been through
when you become a famous poster, you dont know that you sign your life over. and a lot of these posters dont care about you. because the minute you fall off, theyll find another watchmen. and theyll find another c+c and solzy. and theyll find another carl spackler. so you need to just keep stacking your 180s up, do what you gotta do while youre hot, and motherfucking get out this site
no matter what you just been through, shit has gotta be right. you gotta rate posters. you gotta be on the up and up. and everything has gotta be all good. when you see a good thread, bump it. you know what im saying man? rate the op or whatever it is. but you always gotta act like it aint shit
Date: October 29th, 2009 1:25 AM Author: appetizing peach pistol office
*The leeches descend upon your arms by the hundreds and commence gorging on your blood in a myriad of ways. Some scrape holes in your skin using tripartite jaws filled with hundreds of razor-sharp teeth, upon which they attach with suckers to begin the feast. Others puncture your skin with retractable straw-like proboscides. The worst though, are those which burrow through the flesh, devouring you from the inside out. As their crops fill with blood and you near death, the failed turning points of your life flash before your eyes. You see a white light in the distance emanating from a Greyhound bus, but your legs will not carry you to it. As the bus departs, all goes dark and you die.*
You came very close to passing. You were correct to leave the test yours alone by refusing to press the switch. The reprehensible occupant of the cell below yours was … you. Any leeches there would have attached to your feet with no way for you to reach them. However, survival required more than the will to repent. Your will to live was also being tested.
If left unchecked, the leeches would have drained your body of blood within four minutes. Yet you were provided with a means to check them. With even the slightest struggle, the rings surrounding your arms would have tightened further, forming tourniquets and stemming the flow of blood to your arms. Eventually, you would have been left amputated but alive. Instead of accepting a life steeped in disadvantage rather than privilege, you chose death. Game over.
Date: October 29th, 2009 1:45 AM Author: boyish federal french chef
"honestly though i'm just being punished for not being clever enough"
...and, presumably, since you have a YALE education, if you really cared about living you would have picked up on the fact that the OP specifically mentioned that you would risk amputation if you moved your arms too much and acted accordingly, genius.
*Marvels as the fact that this tested not only her will to live and her willingness to forgo the easy way out but also her AA educated brain*
Date: October 29th, 2009 1:47 AM Author: Tripping toaster
yea i read the part about amputation but just sorta glossed over it/put it in the back of my mind to avoid it, didnt really consider it as a means to escape.
Date: October 29th, 2009 1:50 AM Author: appetizing peach pistol office
I must admit to hoping you would furiously throw the leeches into the cell below. You did take away some of my amusement by passing half the test, if it's any consolation.
Date: October 29th, 2009 10:47 AM Author: Tripping toaster
yea i was about to ask how i would be assured that jigsaw was going to immediately come rescue me and take me to a hospital so that i wouldnt bleed to death
Date: October 29th, 2009 10:59 AM Author: Aphrodisiac demanding space philosopher-king
Tobin snared, he provided for what essentially amounts to tourniquets, genius. Even someone on a heavy dose of powerful anticoagulants can't bleed to death if the only places through which they can bleed are literally cut off from the rest of the circulatory system.
Date: October 29th, 2009 5:22 PM Author: chocolate weed whacker
This made sense because he knew that Blue Smoke wasn't going to do ANYTHING. Others would have killed the other guy, or tried to work with the other guy, etc. Or they would have struggled to break free. She did NOTHING.