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Johnsmeyer calling Suze Orman w/ "Scream" voice distorter
| Mind-boggling flushed stage alpha | 06/11/14 |
| Aquamarine appetizing milk | 06/11/14 |
| Cracking telephone legal warrant | 06/11/14 |
| opaque fiercely-loyal theater stage | 06/11/14 |
| Aquamarine appetizing milk | 06/11/14 |
| opaque fiercely-loyal theater stage | 06/11/14 |
| Mind-boggling flushed stage alpha | 06/11/14 |
| sienna rough-skinned coldplay fan | 04/04/15 |
| Thriller drunken fortuitous meteor | 06/11/14 |
| Deep boistinker | 06/12/14 |
| Aquamarine appetizing milk | 06/12/14 |
| puce dragon | 06/12/14 |
| slate aphrodisiac becky | 06/12/14 |
| Twinkling galvanic church building crotch | 06/12/14 |
| french station fat ankles | 06/12/14 |
| Aquamarine appetizing milk | 06/12/14 |
| Thriller drunken fortuitous meteor | 06/13/14 |
| opaque fiercely-loyal theater stage | 06/13/14 |
| Aquamarine appetizing milk | 06/13/14 |
| Aquamarine appetizing milk | 06/13/14 |
| Deep boistinker | 06/13/14 |
| Crusty queen of the night tanning salon | 06/13/14 |
| Thriller drunken fortuitous meteor | 06/13/14 |
| beady-eyed learning disabled trailer park azn | 06/13/14 |
| soggy brunch | 06/13/14 |
| Twinkling galvanic church building crotch | 06/13/14 |
| puce dragon | 06/13/14 |
| Grizzly lettuce | 06/13/14 |
| Mind-boggling flushed stage alpha | 06/13/14 |
| Grizzly lettuce | 02/14/15 |
| cruel-hearted cowardly theatre black woman | 04/04/15 |
| chartreuse kink-friendly school cafeteria | 08/05/15 |
| Fighting wrinkle | 08/05/15 |
| Anal Hospital Corn Cake | 08/06/15 |
| tan nubile base | 08/06/15 |
| yapping doctorate | 08/06/15 |
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| Mahogany hairless liquid oxygen | 08/06/15 |
| Soul-stirring Zippy Pit Yarmulke | 08/06/15 |
| Very tactful wonderful really tough guy | 08/06/15 |
| Cerebral Rose Cruise Ship | 08/06/15 |
| Mahogany hairless liquid oxygen | 10/08/15 |
| olive autistic spot twinkling uncleanness | 10/08/15 |
| flatulent fragrant forum | 11/18/15 |
| nofapping sanctuary | 11/18/15 |
| chartreuse kink-friendly school cafeteria | 12/17/15 |
| Fighting wrinkle | 12/17/15 |
| Out-of-control orange native | 03/14/16 |
| Anal Hospital Corn Cake | 05/31/16 |
| Arrogant thirsty market dingle berry | 05/31/16 |
| Deep boistinker | 07/24/16 |
| Hyperactive buff lodge blood rage | 11/29/16 |
| Confused Laughsome Business Firm Stain | 06/02/17 |
| Maniacal casino boiling water | 06/03/17 |
| insane yellow halford | 12/10/18 |
| spectacular demanding principal's office codepig | 01/29/18 |
| Multi-colored Circlehead Theater | 05/13/18 |
| insane yellow halford | 12/10/18 |
| snowy locus gaping | 06/25/19 |
| opaque fiercely-loyal theater stage | 12/25/19 |
| Grizzly lettuce | 12/30/19 |
| clear ticket booth juggernaut | 02/02/20 |
| odious citrine water buffalo pozpig | 06/26/20 |
| glittery blue nursing home | 03/27/21 |
| Balding indian lodge knife | 06/15/21 |
| opaque fiercely-loyal theater stage | 06/21/24 |
| Lavender dead stage headpube | 06/13/14 |
| Big-titted big menage | 06/13/14 |
| Aquamarine appetizing milk | 06/13/14 |
| Jet-lagged disgusting rigor nibblets | 06/21/14 |
| sienna rough-skinned coldplay fan | 04/04/15 |
| chartreuse kink-friendly school cafeteria | 08/05/15 |
| Grizzly lettuce | 06/13/14 |
| Comical self-centered antidepressant drug macaca | 06/21/14 |
| apoplectic sound barrier main people | 06/21/14 |
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| Hyperactive buff lodge blood rage | 02/14/15 |
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| cruel-hearted cowardly theatre black woman | 04/04/15 |
| spruce people who are hurt | 08/05/15 |
| Soul-stirring Zippy Pit Yarmulke | 08/06/15 |
| pearly dashing abode psychic | 10/08/15 |
| plum buck-toothed parlour | 10/08/15 |
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| Hyperactive buff lodge blood rage | 10/08/15 |
| plum buck-toothed parlour | 10/08/15 |
| Thriller drunken fortuitous meteor | 10/08/15 |
| chartreuse kink-friendly school cafeteria | 12/17/15 |
| Lilac temple | 10/18/15 |
| Greedy Vibrant Crackhouse | 10/31/15 |
| chartreuse kink-friendly school cafeteria | 12/17/15 |
| Out-of-control orange native | 03/14/16 |
| plum buck-toothed parlour | 08/12/16 |
| razzle-dazzle violet property trump supporter | 02/16/17 |
| at-the-ready henna state internal respiration | 02/18/17 |
| Sapphire Lascivious Point Patrolman | 06/03/17 |
| talented double fault | 06/04/17 |
| Carnelian Electric Furnace Heaven | 11/04/17 |
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| Marvelous office jap | 04/30/18 |
| Awkward adulterous location hissy fit | 07/20/18 |
| Comical self-centered antidepressant drug macaca | 10/18/18 |
| Zombie-like twisted masturbator | 12/10/18 |
| Awkward adulterous location hissy fit | 01/10/19 |
| Zombie-like twisted masturbator | 01/10/19 |
| Awkward adulterous location hissy fit | 04/04/19 |
| alcoholic space | 06/25/19 |
| Awkward adulterous location hissy fit | 07/13/19 |
| Awkward adulterous location hissy fit | 12/25/19 |
| Green Adventurous Striped Hyena | 12/25/19 |
| Fluffy Marketing Idea Orchestra Pit | 12/25/19 |
| alcoholic space | 10/22/20 |
| Awkward adulterous location hissy fit | 03/27/21 |
| Fluffy Marketing Idea Orchestra Pit | 06/13/21 |
| excitant toaster | 06/13/21 |
| alcoholic space | 11/04/21 |
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| exciting transparent gas station cuckold | 10/31/23 |
| alcoholic space | 04/13/25 |
| Buses | 03/03/26 |
| Aquamarine appetizing milk | 06/12/14 |
| diverse hall | 06/13/14 |
| Dun Bateful Den | 06/13/14 |
| Grizzly lettuce | 06/13/14 |
| Deep boistinker | 06/26/14 |
| opaque fiercely-loyal theater stage | 12/07/14 |
| opaque fiercely-loyal theater stage | 03/28/15 |
| Vengeful garrison | 03/28/15 |
| motley stock car | 03/28/15 |
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| Painfully Honest Narrow-minded Stead International Law Enforcement Agency | 11/07/16 |
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| nofapping sanctuary | 07/24/16 |
| Mahogany hairless liquid oxygen | 04/09/21 |
| Twinkling galvanic church building crotch | 08/06/15 |
| Awkward adulterous location hissy fit | 07/13/19 |
| Anal Hospital Corn Cake | 08/07/15 |
| Mahogany hairless liquid oxygen | 08/15/15 |
| ocher bawdyhouse | 08/15/15 |
| Anal Hospital Corn Cake | 09/08/15 |
| plum buck-toothed parlour | 10/08/15 |
| Crystalline abnormal box office | 10/08/15 |
| plum buck-toothed parlour | 10/08/15 |
| plum buck-toothed parlour | 10/08/15 |
| Anal Hospital Corn Cake | 12/17/15 |
| Grizzly lettuce | 12/17/15 |
| Sepia national | 03/14/16 |
| cruel-hearted cowardly theatre black woman | 03/14/16 |
| Out-of-control orange native | 03/14/16 |
| Deep boistinker | 04/17/16 |
| geriatric piazza | 05/03/16 |
| Twinkling galvanic church building crotch | 05/12/16 |
| pearly dashing abode psychic | 05/16/16 |
| nofapping sanctuary | 05/31/16 |
| Razzmatazz Church Cuck | 09/15/16 |
| idiotic mad cow disease | 11/07/16 |
| Arrogant thirsty market dingle berry | 11/29/16 |
| at-the-ready henna state internal respiration | 02/16/17 |
| at-the-ready henna state internal respiration | 05/22/17 |
| opaque fiercely-loyal theater stage | 06/02/17 |
| chartreuse kink-friendly school cafeteria | 06/02/17 |
| Anal Hospital Corn Cake | 08/30/17 |
| Twinkling galvanic church building crotch | 09/06/17 |
| exciting transparent gas station cuckold | 04/30/18 |
| Blathering chapel | 05/13/18 |
| exciting transparent gas station cuckold | 11/16/18 |
| Awkward adulterous location hissy fit | 09/07/19 |
| histrionic lime university hunting ground | 09/07/19 |
| Maize Supple Idea He Suggested | 11/15/19 |
| at-the-ready henna state internal respiration | 12/25/19 |
| Indigo stirring partner | 12/25/19 |
| puce dragon | 12/25/19 |
| Blathering chapel | 12/25/19 |
| at-the-ready henna state internal respiration | 01/30/20 |
| at-the-ready henna state internal respiration | 03/10/20 |
| Awkward adulterous location hissy fit | 03/24/20 |
| odious citrine water buffalo pozpig | 04/01/20 |
| exciting transparent gas station cuckold | 08/10/20 |
| Awkward adulterous location hissy fit | 10/19/20 |
| alcoholic space | 06/13/21 |
| exciting transparent gas station cuckold | 06/13/21 |
| puce dragon | 06/15/21 |
| alcoholic space | 08/22/21 |
| haunting exhilarant incel | 08/31/21 |
| alcoholic space | 05/23/22 |
| exciting transparent gas station cuckold | 02/09/23 |
| Concupiscible pisswyrm rigpig | 10/31/23 |
| exciting transparent gas station cuckold | 06/21/24 |
| Awkward adulterous location hissy fit | 02/09/25 |
| Comical self-centered antidepressant drug macaca | 03/27/25 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:36 PM Author: Mind-boggling flushed stage alpha (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733527) |
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: Aquamarine appetizing milk You should've been a comedy writer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733532) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: Cracking telephone legal warrant (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733535) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:39 PM Author: opaque fiercely-loyal theater stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733537) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: Aquamarine appetizing milk Suze: "sir, can I ask how tall you are."
*very long pause*
Robot/monster voice: " five nine" |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: opaque fiercely-loyal theater stage LOL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733551) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:41 PM Author: Mind-boggling flushed stage alpha laughing & convlusing & foamign at mouth at work lmfao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733555) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 3:56 PM Author: sienna rough-skinned coldplay fan (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27619755) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:59 PM Author: Thriller drunken fortuitous meteor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733697) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 12:11 AM Author: Deep boistinker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733775) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:22 PM Author: Aquamarine appetizing milk (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738401) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: puce dragon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738402) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: slate aphrodisiac becky (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738403) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:36 PM Author: Twinkling galvanic church building crotch holy shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738512) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:38 PM Author: french station fat ankles Holy shit screaming/vomiting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738527) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 8:23 PM Author: Aquamarine appetizing milk JFC (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25739208) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:10 PM Author: Thriller drunken fortuitous meteor i really dont know why but this cracks me the eff up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25743978) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:22 PM Author: opaque fiercely-loyal theater stage Well to start, you have Suze Orman neighing a complete non-sequitur of a question that hits at the linchpin of Johnsmeyer's tragic character: his height. Who knows why that has come up? Maybe PAYE? Maybe estate planning re a farm with gold statues? Maybe what to do with his minor league performance bonus? So we get a brilliant start.
Then we get stuck in the long pause purgatory, but it's a good purgatory. We know what might happen next and on first read, 8 times out of 10 we'll guess correctly. But during the long pause your anticipation wells up. You can envision Johnsmeyer nervously fumbling with the Scream robot voice machine pressed against an old landline phone with a curly cord that's way, way too long in a dark Manhattan basement closet apartment, thinking of whether to answer truthfully and whether the Scream robot voice machine is actually working to cover his identity. It's not that he's weird, he's just shy, a little embarrassed and wants anonymity. It's really absurd, but you give the little guy the benefit of the doubt and hope he doesn't hang up out of fear while pissing his pants. Besides, chances are he already pissed his pants after the big Suze asked him about his relationship status, which prompted him to look up at an out of focus picture of some girl named Dutchess that's the only thing on his otherwise bare windowless walls.
You see all this in the long pause which is then pierced by the Scream robot voice as it responds "five nine" which is hilarious because it's earnestly delivered in such an bizarre manner. You can hear the voice clearly in your head while envisioning Johnsmeyer in his apartment and Suze and her producers in the studio wondering wtf kind of savant is on the other end of the line. But it's doubly hilarious because we all know Johnsy boy is really five seven, on a good day. |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:25 PM Author: Aquamarine appetizing milk TY FOR YOUR SERVICE (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744029) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:29 PM Author: Aquamarine appetizing milk (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744049) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:30 PM Author: Deep boistinker Poast of the year (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744051) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:31 PM Author: Crusty queen of the night tanning salon this is scholarship (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744053) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:32 PM Author: Thriller drunken fortuitous meteor Loool 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744063) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:35 PM Author: beady-eyed learning disabled trailer park azn suze orman keeping steady, unconcerned eye contact into the camera during the pause (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744079) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:42 PM Author: soggy brunch I read this with the Charlie Kelly voice (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744101) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:53 PM Author: Twinkling galvanic church building crotch whoa (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744164) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:59 PM Author: puce dragon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744191) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:33 PM Author: Grizzly lettuce (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25745855) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 10:55 PM Author: Mind-boggling flushed stage alpha (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25746687) |
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Date: February 14th, 2015 5:47 PM Author: Grizzly lettuce (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27315083) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:04 PM Author: cruel-hearted cowardly theatre black woman 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27619800) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 10:01 PM Author: chartreuse kink-friendly school cafeteria (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28487531) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 11:57 PM Author: Fighting wrinkle (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28488640) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:24 AM Author: Anal Hospital Corn Cake (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489891) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:28 AM Author: tan nubile base lol you're like the judge who wrote the Pepsi Points opinion from 1L contracts (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489907) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:39 AM Author: yapping doctorate How did I miss this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489936) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 10:43 AM Author: flesh contagious multi-billionaire laser beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28490163) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:33 PM Author: Mahogany hairless liquid oxygen (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28491214) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:34 PM Author: Soul-stirring Zippy Pit Yarmulke (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28491223) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:56 PM Author: Very tactful wonderful really tough guy there is some true comedic talent on this bort (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28497490) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:59 PM Author: Cerebral Rose Cruise Ship lol damn dude, nice work (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28497522) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:05 AM Author: Mahogany hairless liquid oxygen the real important part is that this only took 12 minutes to write (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28924462) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:39 AM Author: olive autistic spot twinkling uncleanness curly phone cord that's way too long really hit home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28924483) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:44 PM Author: flatulent fragrant forum (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29207618) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:48 PM Author: nofapping sanctuary (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29207642) |
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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:19 PM Author: chartreuse kink-friendly school cafeteria (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29401582) |
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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:24 PM Author: Fighting wrinkle (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29401618) |
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Date: March 14th, 2016 12:56 AM Author: Out-of-control orange native (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#30051818) |
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Date: May 31st, 2016 3:10 PM Author: Anal Hospital Corn Cake (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#30594657) |
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Date: May 31st, 2016 3:17 PM Author: Arrogant thirsty market dingle berry (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#30594696) |
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Date: July 24th, 2016 9:14 AM Author: Deep boistinker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#31014517) |
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Date: November 29th, 2016 6:59 PM Author: Hyperactive buff lodge blood rage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#32018277) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2017 8:48 AM Author: Confused Laughsome Business Firm Stain (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#33453658) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2017 12:59 PM Author: Maniacal casino boiling water ljl at anyone who says this place hasn't gone downhill with all the politics and crypto spam (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#33463157) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: insane yellow halford (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#37381941) |
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Date: January 29th, 2018 10:12 PM Author: spectacular demanding principal's office codepig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#35273685) |
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Date: May 13th, 2018 9:50 PM Author: Multi-colored Circlehead Theater (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#36044055) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: insane yellow halford (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#37381939) |
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Date: June 25th, 2019 4:51 AM Author: snowy locus gaping this poa was clearly made w/ genuine love (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#38436191) |
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Date: December 25th, 2019 5:59 PM Author: opaque fiercely-loyal theater stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#39324796) |
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Date: December 30th, 2019 8:37 PM Author: Grizzly lettuce this is the best poast on xo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#39352602) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2020 5:38 PM Author: clear ticket booth juggernaut (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#39529036) |
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Date: June 26th, 2020 5:32 PM Author: odious citrine water buffalo pozpig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#40501651) |
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Date: March 27th, 2021 12:19 AM Author: glittery blue nursing home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#42172476) |
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Date: June 15th, 2021 9:43 PM Author: Balding indian lodge knife (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#42634165) |
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Date: June 21st, 2024 6:27 PM Author: opaque fiercely-loyal theater stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#47767334) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:12 PM Author: Lavender dead stage headpube (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25743993) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 4:12 PM Author: Big-titted big menage Suze purses her lips, furrows her brow and nods her head sympathetically. She says 'Wellll...' in a manner indicating that she won't be able to provide any helpful advice.
*Audible click from phone, then dial tone*
Suze: "Well it looks like we lost 'Duke' from New York".
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:22 PM Author: Aquamarine appetizing milk (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25745763) |
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