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LMFAO - My lawyers have been replaced by AI agents as “direct reports”
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Date: November 6th, 2026 9:44 AM Author: Emperor CRISPR Chad von Neumann III ( ) lol, no bullshit, AI budgeting tools are being rolled out at my org. Sure fine, whatever…
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE! I am not getting to backfill two roles on my team (normal turnover where someone left for a competitor and someone else left to an internal role). Instead my AI budget has been upped significantly and I have been given dedicated time with our Enterprise AI Champions to help me build agents that will replace these people. They were senior lawyers in a technical field with 10-15 years experience!
The agents will appear under me on the structure chart and clients will have to go straight to them before they can get to someone else on my team. I’m *sure* that our senior clients will do that shit and not just call me directly. Moreover, I am accountable for the answers that my agents give and on the hook for reviewing the quality of the ongoing responses.
I tried to talk to my buddy who heads up our litigation team about how privilege worked in this setup. He, not flame, gave me the shell-shocked thousand yard stare of a WWI trench infantryman and just walked off.
Did I mention not flame? |
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https://www.gofundme.com/f/post-jungian-neo-jungian-archetypal-critique donate to me im gay Date: November 6th, 2026 9:45 AM Author: M. I. Gay Wow not flame (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5919452&forum_id=2#50237210) |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 9:57 AM Author: Emperor CRISPR Chad von Neumann III ( ) I would give anything for it to be flame. I’d say that this means that I’m going to have to change jobs, but honestly that seems like an even worse idea at this stage of of techno-capitalism and the business cycle.
I half think that this is fraudlies and we’re really just doing some quiet zero based budgeting bullshit and they don’t want to tell me that my team is getting downsized. |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 10:03 AM Author: Accurate at predicting vs Measures of probability (gunneratttt) Why don't they just not backfill the roles and say they expect their peers to be able to pick up the slack because of AI? Having AI agents appear on the org chart as lawyers and pose that way to clients opens up so many obvious problems and liability that I'd refuse to do it. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5919452&forum_id=2#50237268) |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 10:15 AM Author: Emperor CRISPR Chad von Neumann III ( ) They’re going to appear as “analysts” under me. I’ve not had non-lawyer analyst reports before, but lots of my peer legal team leaders have them.
So, not my practice area, but it’ll look something like… [von Neumann - Head of HR Legal] [human lawyer teams - Americas/Europe/AsiaPac] [“Carolina” AI Agent Legal Analyst — Global Mobility Issues] [“Jerome” AI Agent Legal Analyst — Disciplinary Inquiries]
Giving them people names is seriously what we’re doing. |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 10:20 AM Author: Accurate at predicting vs Measures of probability (gunneratttt) But why not have the analysts you already have at least bless it first? By "clients" you're not referring to internal clients are you? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5919452&forum_id=2#50237319) |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 10:24 AM Author: Emperor CRISPR Chad von Neumann III ( ) I do mean internal clients. In my HR legal example, picture a constant stream of questions from mid-level managers throughout a global enterprise. Most that can be pretty repetitive, but that say 10% of the time have some real hair on them. And then also less frequent questions from/about very senior people that I can’t believe we’d let AI handle (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5919452&forum_id=2#50237331) |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 10:29 AM Author: Accurate at predicting vs Measures of probability (gunneratttt) Oh alright that's not too bad then as far as something to refuse to do. Pretty gay though and a sign of what's coming. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5919452&forum_id=2#50237337) |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 10:51 AM Author: Emperor CRISPR Chad von Neumann III ( ) This is 100% just budgeting bullshit that someone above me is going to recast as “Look at how I hit my AI Adoption OKR and support a Key Enterprise Priority by replacing expensive lawyers with AI!” When what really happened is they just decided to flog me and my team that much harder. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5919452&forum_id=2#50237402) |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 10:30 AM Author: Poastrad4mus how do u think this affects your outside legal spend (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5919452&forum_id=2#50237338) |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 10:54 AM Author: Emperor CRISPR Chad von Neumann III ( ) Entirely separately there’s an initiative underway to make sure that low-level work (think below mid-level associates) isn’t showing up on our bills. The ballpark that someone gave me is that we should be looking for bills to be 20% lower than for similar matters in years past.
No change to the actual dollars in my budget yet, though of course that’s coming. I’m fortunate in that (1) I’ve got a pretty solid budget, (2) when things are high-priority no one questions my spend, and (3) very little of my outside counsel spend is on document churning or research, it’s almost all direct consultation with the (insanely expensive) expert partners. |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 10:54 AM Author: scholarship (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5919452&forum_id=2#50237415) |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 11:25 AM Author: Daft Unc This is going to be such a fucking nightmare.
Thank God I accumulated some assets before the AI shitstorm hit. Allah take the wheel. |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 11:29 AM Author: Poastrad4mus im scared (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5919452&forum_id=2#50237536) |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 11:34 AM Author: Accurate at predicting vs Measures of probability (gunneratttt) (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5919452&forum_id=2#50237551) |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 2:19 PM Author: cowgod Im LeanFIRE sooooo yeah (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5919452&forum_id=2#50238070) |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 11:26 AM Author: Fucking Fuckface Flame. CLEARLY flame. Why is no one addressing the likelihood that this is flame? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5919452&forum_id=2#50237528) |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 11:30 AM Author: ohnoes (🧐) OP said "not flame" retard (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5919452&forum_id=2#50237539) |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 1:38 PM Author: Fucking Fuckface Not my fault. He should have said it more clearly and more often (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5919452&forum_id=2#50237946) |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 2:13 PM Author: Emperor CRISPR Chad von Neumann III ( ) I so wish that this was flame (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5919452&forum_id=2#50238041) |
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Date: November 6th, 2026 11:35 AM Author: Accurate at predicting vs Measures of probability (gunneratttt) OP isn't a flame artisan and I've seen companies do dumber shit than this. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5919452&forum_id=2#50237554) |