Date: November 30th, 2009 7:46 PM Author: orchid tantric garrison
To be fair,
My worst experience with this POS airline was when the ghetto 20 year old nigress security guard saw me approaching with a carry on bag, a briefcase and a suit slung over my shoulder that I had just pressed and that I needed to have available as soon as I got off the plane.
She immediately pulls me out of line to inform me that "THERE IS ONLY ONE CARRY ON BAG AND ONE PERSONAL ITEM ALLOWED SIR YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO PACK THAT SUIT" in a loud and grating tone. I smiled and explained that I have flown on numerous airlines, that I fly fairly regularly, and that I have never had this problem before (including on American.) And then I calmly explained that I had an important meeting that I had to attend as soon as I got off the flight (it was a red-eye), that I had just had my suit dry cleaned and pressed, and that I would be storing it at the front of the plane anyway and it would not take up any overhead space.
She stared out at me dully with her dead, unintelligent ape-eyes, paused for a moment, and then began again: "THERE IS ONLY ONE CARRY ON BAG AND ONE PERSONAL ITEM ALLOWED SIR YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO PACK THAT SUIT."
Frustrated, running late and not wanting to walk into my meeting looking like an unkempt faggot because some foolish negro didn't "get" it, I asked to speak to her manager. Again, with a look of supreme idiocy hanging from her face and profoundly unintelligent gleam in her dull dark eyes, she screamed "LAQUITA!"
Laquita waddled over slowly, and instantly I knew I was fucked. She looked like an older, heavier, wearier version of the young African American woman that I had been conversing with; her artificially straightened hair (badly dyed an unnatural dark reddish color) stuck out wildly from her large head in all directions, waving to and fro in a frizzy, nappy mess.
Crestfallen, I began to explain my situation even though I already knew it was fruitless. She stopped me halfway through my schpiel and toned in, in a vulgar and inappropriately loud voice: "SIR AMERICAN AIRLINES HAS A POLICY THAT ONLY ONE CARRY ONE BAG AND ONE PERSONAL ITEM ARE ALLOWED. SIR YOU HAVE TO PACK YOUR THINGS."
Frustrated, I began attempting to shove my suit into the my bag. The carefully pressed creases vanished before my eyes as I curled it into a tight ball and attempted to squeeze it into the top corner of my already overpacked suitcase. After several minutes and considerable reshuffling, I had succeeded in making my suit look like a piece of shit and in just barely getting the bag zipped up again.
I approached the first nigress for the second time, trying to maintain a studied composure so that I would not explode on her and make a scene in the airport in front of innocent children and families. She looked up at me again with her dull, yellowing eyes. Then she spoke:
"SIR YOU NEED TO FIT THAT BAG INTO THIS SLOT, PLEASE COME HERE AND FIT THE BAG IN SIR."
She was literally going to make me squeeze me bag into the "Can your bag fit in the overhead compartment?" bin.
Furious, I told her that I had never had to do this bullshit before; that my suit was ruined; that I was now running 15 minutes late and might miss my flight; and that her airline was a dirty piece of shit.
She glanced up warily at me and reiterated in her loud, sing-song monotone:
"SIR YOU NEED TO FIT THAT BAG INTO THIS SLOT, PLEASE COME HERE AND FIT THE BAG IN SIR."
Defeated, I squeezed my bag as far down into the ridiculously narrow metal big as it would go. Several inches still stood out as the overpacked luggage fought back.
Our dark-skinned villainess came over to assist. Without a word, and without looking up at me, she began to furiously stomp my bag into the box with her feet. WHOMP! WHOMP! WHOMP! went her heavy simian paw on my brand new bag as the luggage was forced down into the crevice, crushing everything inside of it.
Without another word, she turned and left to go back to the line, leaving me to reach down and attempt to salvage my suitcase and my dignity. In a blind and growing rage, I yanked it out as hard as I could.
The zipper must have caught on something; exactly what, I'll never know. All I remember is seeing my bag open up midair as my clothes went flying in all directions. My beaten and broken suit flew out in a crumpled ball and rolled across the floor.
I screamed a string of obscenities so loud and profane that people turned to stare at me from 10 yards away. I began to repack all of my shit, cradling my ruined suit and consumed with raging anger that this fucking pointlessly power hungry black bitch with a 6th grade education was running me through the motions.
I heard footsteps approaching and looked up. A young black woman wearing a security uniform stood above me, staring down with dull yellow eyes.
"THERE IS ONLY ONE CARRY ON BAG AND ONE PERSONAL ITEM ALLOWED SIR YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO PACK THAT SUIT."
Date: November 30th, 2009 7:58 PM Author: orchid tantric garrison
To be fair,
You drive to work every day along a lonely stretch of open highway where social convention dictates that everyone goes 65 mph to keep up with traffic, although it's technically a 55 mph zone. There is a police station located just off the road and cops are regularly driving on it with everyone else.
You do this for years on end.
Then one day, just as you're on your way to an important business meeting that you can't afford to be late to, a cop pulls you over for going 60 in a 55 and makes you wait a half an hour while he leisurely writes you a ticket.
Every single thing about that story makes you look like a douche. She was doing her job. You, on the other hand, were adamantly refusing to follow the rules. Consequently you got pwned. Heartwarming.
Date: December 4th, 2009 2:18 AM Author: disgusting institution
how come nobody has mentioned the fact that To Be Fair is Pakistani, as is well known from several of his poastings on xo, and that the AA employees were obviously fucking with him because he fit the appearance of a terrorist?
Date: February 24th, 2010 10:34 PM Author: Opaque resort dragon
this is a remarkably racist comment. i do not agree with it, nor do i enjoy the fact that my country allows men, like the poster who made the comment, the freedom to think it.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:03 PM Author: orchid tantric garrison
To be fair,
I sincerely believe that she saw me walking down towards her, casually slinging my expensive business suit over my shoulder and wearing nice clothes, and thought "LOL OH AWW HELL NAH DIS NIGGA GONNA GET IT"
Date: November 30th, 2009 7:59 PM Author: razzle-dazzle wild hall goyim
I get where he's coming from. People being officious for the sake of it who go on power trips over pointless rules are approximately the worst of civilized humanity. That's no excuse for all the putrid racism, but situations like the one he describes can be very frustrating.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:00 PM Author: Beady-eyed Cuckoldry
I completely understand his frustration with their attitudes. But he initially became mad after the young lady told him that he couldn't bring his suit. She was just doing her job.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:01 PM Author: razzle-dazzle wild hall goyim
The point is that she decided to make an issue out of it. I guarantee gate employees can easily look the other way, and non-TTT airlines also offer to gate-check extra bags.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:06 PM Author: razzle-dazzle wild hall goyim
I seriously doubt it's anything rigorous. Probably they depend on flight crews ratting out gate agents and the like, but that's going to be a hassle with basically no return for the flight crew.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:04 PM Author: orchid tantric garrison
To be fair,
Conceivable.
Except that I flew out of this same airport on American less than a week earlier, as I have done countless times in the past with absolutely no problem.
Either this was a brand new policy, or the airline suddenly randomly decided to crack down, or this woman wanted to fuck with me. We'll never know which it was because I'll never fly American again.
Date: November 30th, 2009 9:01 PM Author: tan pervert
yeah seriously...
i was bringing a really heavy suitcase home on northwest and it was like 53 pounds (their limit is 50 i think) and they were going to charge my $90 extra (in addition to the $45 id already paid to check two bags) because i was 3 lbs. over the limit. eventually i just took some stuff out and left it.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:11 PM Author: Beady-eyed Cuckoldry
excuse me? I think you need to re-read what tbf wrote and what I wrote. Their attitudes were horrible; however, their job is to enforce the rule. So TBF, getting mad over the workers enforcing the rule is silly. His getting mad over their attitudes is not. Get it now?
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:44 PM Author: Lemon maniacal point multi-billionaire
You can't eat your cake and have it too. You cannot be a pillar of the n-threading movement and then claim that the racism in this story was merely for showmanship.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:01 PM Author: orchid tantric garrison
To be fair,
Do you seriously believe that this woman made every single passenger who came along during her shift fit their carry on into that godforesaken little metal bin and kicked it in to make sure it fit all the way?
It's illegal to give a dog a haircut on a Sunday in March in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. I guess everyone had better be prepared to scrupulously follow that inane little fucking rule that is never enforced!
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:05 PM Author: Beady-eyed Cuckoldry
Maybe she did allow other people to go by with x amount of carry-ons OR maybe it was her first day at work and she was just trying to follow the rules. Who knows? The thing is getting upset that someone is just following the rules of their job is silly. Getting upset over their attitude, now that I understand.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:06 PM Author: orchid tantric garrison
To be fair,
I hope police officers follow you around for a few days and SCRUPULOUSLY enforce every single arcane and technical traffic regulation on you as you drive from place to place.
And I hope they are exceedingly polite and nice and apologetic as they do it.
i HIGHLY doubt they would get fired if they made an "exception" for his suit. it's like saying that my jacket, which i'm not wearing, is a carry-on item. that's bullshit
omg AA is gonna go out of business if it allows TBF to take his suit on the plane!! omg. these dipshits don't realize that they end up fucking themselves even harder when they piss off and bully customers. maybe that's why TBF's flight was half-empty.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:35 PM Author: orchid tantric garrison
To be fair,
And I'll bet you either drive the speed limit every single time, or never bitch about getting tickets when you get them and you weren't speeding compared to the rest of traffic even though you were technically 5 miles over.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:37 PM Author: Flushed charismatic corner
Why are you always such a bitch, and then so fucking hostile to others on top of it?
Your second point is idiotic at best. I don't think of myself as a fairy princess. It's telling that in this thread, the only person who agrees with you is fucking BEL.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:03 PM Author: hateful pearl senate candlestick maker
titcr, especially for full flights. Over Thanksgiving, the last 20 people on the place had to check their carryon luggage because of snotty pigs like the OP.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:25 PM Author: orchid tantric garrison
To be fair,
It's irrelevant to the story because I would have been just as pissed had it been a packed flight; neither of those women had any idea how full or empty the flight was going to be - they were on a power trip.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:36 PM Author: orchid tantric garrison
To be fair,
I should have, but unfortunately the bathroom was sufficiently far away and I had waited in line long enough that I didn't have time to go, do that, get back, stand in line all over again and still make my flight. I had to make a quick decision.
i feel enraged for TBF. is that wrong? i feel like this is similar to my prole at b&n story. these dumb proles are not smart enough to realize the "rules" they're enforcing don't make any fucking sense and are not even cost-efficient to the company they're slaving away for (at least, in regard to AA).
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:09 PM Author: bateful sable sanctuary
you have to admit that it's generally good for proles to follow rules blindly though, because if they started thinking for themselves, the whole system would break down
you should fly jetblue next time. they're very lenient about carryon items. i don't think they even have a policy. however, all airline employees are assholes.
yeah delta also has a policy (at least in JFK) where if you don't check in like 45 minutes before your flight, you can't board the plane. rachmiel and i missed our plane to california bc of it AND we had to pay extra to take the next one.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:09 PM Author: erotic abode
The routes on which I fly American have never caused me any problems, though I tend to play by the rules.
I use them over United because United miles expire like one a year, and I usually don't fly enough in a year to get a mileage flight. Is there a better domestic airline that's ubiquitous and flies in and out of DCA? (Southwest does not)
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:12 PM Author: erotic abode
I think USAir does, though their routes are generally infrequent. I always look at kayak.com or bing travel to price shop, and USAir rarely enters the picture. It might just be my routes.
I'm taking AA on an international trip over Christmas. Hopefully the same chaos won't ensue for me as it did for TBF.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:15 PM Author: Bossy Base Haunted Graveyard
This sounds pretty ridiculous but just as bad are the fucktards who bring a giant rolley carry on, a big backpack "personal item" then also bring three shopping bags full of shit and the 3 foot long native american carving they bought at the flea market. Better not put any other bags overhead with the fertility stick or it might break too.
I can picture bel doing this when I am not picturing her otherwise.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:20 PM Author: Bossy Base Haunted Graveyard
He had a suit which is similar in size to a coat. If he had it in a garment bag I would agree, but if its just sitting there I dont feel like it's an egregious violation.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:31 PM Author: orchid tantric garrison
To be fair,
By the time I had stood in line at the security checkpoint for 20 minutes to get to this alpha ape I couldn't have gone back, checked it, and done it all over again and still made my flight.
I could have paid the exorbitant fee to check it upfront on the .001% chance that this arcane rule that is never enforced regarding something as stupid as a plain carry on suit was actually enforced. But that's a pretty fucking stupid cost-benefit analysis to take, especially when AA clearly induced reliance on their not following their own rule by literally never enforcing it. If this was a contract case, that penalty would have been found to be waived.
But as it is I just got fucked up the ass and vowed never to do business with them again. I fly often enough that this is unfortunate for them, although I have no doubt they'll survive just fine without me and will continue to deliver shitty service and piss off passengers for decades to come.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:36 PM Author: Flushed charismatic corner
LOL Ok,
First of all, literally every other airline has the same policy. Second of all, you can always have a GA check your bag. Third of all, from these two points I can conclude you don't really fly much so AA isn't going to miss your $600 next year.
Date: November 30th, 2009 9:06 PM Author: orchid tantric garrison
To be fair,
Let me be a little clearer:
NO MAJOR AIRLINE THAT I AM AWARE OF REGULARLY ENFORCES THIS POLICY W/R/T SUITS. I WOULD KNOW THAT GIVEN THAT I FLY REGULARLY ON SEVERAL AIRLINES AND ALWAYS BRING MY SUIT WITH ME LIKE THIS.
In contract law, for example, if you fail to enforce part of the contract when it's broken repeatedly you usually forfeit the right to enforce it at all in the future because you have induced reliance. You might know that this is not a particularly extreme position to take if you actually had a fucking legal education.
Ya know if AA is good about enforcing such rules, I actually might give them a shot now. I hate it when companies bend the rules for customers at the expense of other customers. Your story makes me WANT to do business with AA.
i wasn't wrong about anything. i understand the logic of starbucks enforcing a purchase policy in their cafe- it's perfectly consistent with the logic of capitalism. what i don't understand is why employees are so aggressive in enforcing rules, including "rules" that possibly don't exist, except in their minds (as in the case of suit). in other words, why do employees bully customers? i don't believe it is entirely bc they're worried they might lose their jobs. i think much of it has to do with repression and their status as powerless pawns in a system that is dependent on their obedience and docility to continue functioning, but, at the same time, self-destructs.
Date: November 30th, 2009 8:57 PM Author: tan pervert
lol
i always carry a couple of hoodies or something to wear onboard the plane because i get cold so easily... never had anyone say anything to me. never heard of an item of clothing being considered a "carry-on item"
Date: November 30th, 2009 9:10 PM Author: orchid tantric garrison
To be fair,
Exactly.
For the sake of simplifying the story, I left out the aside where I pressed that point and the first woman noted that this was "ON A HANGER" so it wasn't just like a piece of clothing.
Date: November 30th, 2009 9:02 PM Author: Unholy Fear-inspiring State
You couldn't pay for an additional bag? Why didn't you just get naked and put on your suit? Or you could have tipped her...OR you could have been charismatic and got what you want.
Date: November 30th, 2009 9:06 PM Author: lurid anal narrative
I enjoyed this post. There's probably some textual analysis you could do to show that it echoes the "breaking point" story, structurally or otherwise; there's the funny racist parody humor; there's anti-airline, anti-corporate prole enforcer sentiment; there's the well-conveyed image of board heel TBF (a) employed (b) as a corporate monkey (c) getting pwned IRL (d) as this mark-ass mark/fat-ass target of a honky a la Chad the white kid from Chappelle's "Madd Real World" skit; and it's just a soundly set-up, dare we say well-composed, story with a punchline.
I'm surprised nobody has brought this up yet, but what does this have to do with AA? AA does not hire those TSA agents. In fact they probably aren't the only airline even flying out of the gate you had to go through.
Date: November 30th, 2009 9:44 PM Author: cream dysfunction
I love how people make the "rules are rules" argument.
The airlines are presumably in the customer service business. They make the rules, and if they want to enforce them rigidly and pointlessly, sure, they have that right but it doesn't mean they don't suck for doing so.
And there's a reason most of them are suffering financially. No one enjoys flying when they're treated like that, and more and more people are avoiding it whenever possible.
Date: December 4th, 2009 1:37 AM Author: orchid tantric garrison
To be fair,
idk man to be honest I hate American for so many reasons that when I remembered this incident I was more than happy to use it as a transparent excuse to bash those faggots
Date: December 4th, 2009 1:40 AM Author: Vibrant citrine private investor public bath
So you cannot say, sitting here today, that any of the personnel discussed in your post are AA employees and/or were purporting to enforce AA policies. Sounds like you've just pwn3d yourself. Amazing it took 150 posts for someone to realize the idiocy of your post.
Date: December 4th, 2009 1:54 AM Author: razzle-dazzle wild hall goyim
Your interpretation doesn't make a lot of sense, I have to say. Generally TSA personnel do not enforce bag size and number limits. It seems more likely than not that the first two people he interacted with were airline personnel.
Date: December 4th, 2009 1:57 AM Author: Vibrant citrine private investor public bath
The point remains that we're speculating and OP's story is full of shit. OP said "security guard," not gate agent. OP can't even say where this occurred -- was it at the ticket counter? security line? the gate? on the jet bridge?
FYI, I've seen TSA personnel try to pull power trips and enforce bag regulations.
Date: December 4th, 2009 1:59 AM Author: razzle-dazzle wild hall goyim
"FYI, I've seen TSA personnel try to pull power trips and enforce bag regulations."
That's pretty strange, since individual airlines' policies vary widely. E.g. some will let you gate-check extra bags, some don't consider purses or long coats to be personal items and some do.
Date: December 4th, 2009 1:57 AM Author: Blathering Bat-shit-crazy Orchestra Pit
TSA, airline personnel, and airport staff weave a complex symphony of shittiness so intricate and so obscene that it is impossible to isolate any one of the voices.
Date: December 4th, 2009 2:03 AM Author: Blathering Bat-shit-crazy Orchestra Pit
Who cares? They all deserve to be bashed. If the finger is pointed at the wrong instrument this time, it's of little consequence, because said instrument will be wailing its own solo of misery soon enough.
Date: December 4th, 2009 2:05 AM Author: orchid tantric garrison
To be fair,
The point is that these bitches gave me shit, and frankly I was too pissed off about the situation at the time to stop and formally inquire about whether they were actually AA employees or TSA employees. I assumed that TSA employees wouldn't give a shit about some airline specific policy regarding bag size and when I told one of them that her airline was a piece of shit she didn't refute the statement. So I went with it.
If I was flaming wouldn't I just say that I knew this for a fact?
How any of this detracts from the entertainment value of the story or from the fact that AA is a horribly shitty airline well deserving of being bashed in any regard is beyond me.
You seem like a particularly ill-tempered faggot. Sorry you didn't like my tale. Please fuck off and fall down in the shower.
Date: December 4th, 2009 1:44 AM Author: Vibrant citrine private investor public bath
Date: December 4th, 2009 1:37 AM
Author: To be fair
To be fair,
idk man to be honest I hate American for so many reasons that when I remembered this incident I was more than happy to use it as a transparent excuse to bash those faggots
Date: December 4th, 2009 1:43 AM Author: Vibrant citrine private investor public bath
Um, most Asian and ME carriers are far worse pieces of shit than TTTs like Southwest, Ryanair or Easyjet. For every Emirates or Cathay, there's a ton of shit carriers like China Eastern or Air India.
Date: December 4th, 2009 1:46 AM Author: ocher stag film
I didn't say that ALL carriers based in Asia/ME were better than all the other carriers. Just that the best ones in Asia/ME pwn the shit out of the carriers from the rest of the world.
Date: December 4th, 2009 1:55 AM Author: Blathering Bat-shit-crazy Orchestra Pit
Southwest is just "ok" because you expect it
Domestically I think my best experiences have been with JetBlue (despite some legitimately horrendous administrative problems at JFK for a while) and, what I've always found a little bit surprising, US Air.
But overall fuck the entire goddamn airline industry.
Date: December 12th, 2009 9:40 AM Author: Clear Costumed Space Tank
i knew a gentle, female, 4'11" korean violinist. her english was pretty bad but she was a fine player (ug juilliard/mm with danchenko at peabody.) a taniqua type bullied her into checking her fiddle planeside on one of her first audition trips in the usa and it got majorly fucked up - bridge shattered, gouged the belly, soundpost fell down, seam opened on one side. it was a $30k fiddle on loan from her school. i don't know how many people were on the plane but it was a red-eye too so presumptively half-full.
fuck tsa & airline shitheads in the ear (but not the nice ones, all 10% of them)
Date: December 13th, 2009 12:13 AM Author: swashbuckling bistre incel
This is by far my least favorite meme on this board.
What exactly was "beta" about the OP's response? He's a dumbass for not anticipating that this might happen, but please tell us how you would respond in a more "alpha" manner - punch the TSA bitch in the face and rape her into submission right in front of all of the passengers? I'm curious, please share.
Date: April 3rd, 2010 5:55 PM Author: Vigorous know-it-all set
bump because I just flew on this shitty airline yesterday and I thought of this thread as I was sitting on the tarmac for 50 fucking minutes with no A/C
Date: July 29th, 2010 7:17 AM Author: Mind-boggling hospital
airlines are horrendous, but never noticed any patters truly distinct to any particular one. it's always seemed dubious when people so assuredly say "united sucks," or whatever; sort of like people who claim "shell gasoline blows"
Date: July 29th, 2010 7:20 AM Author: Mind-boggling hospital
i always sort of liked KLM; but i think it was just their color scheme and logo. and as for american, the hot cookies and nuts vaguely distinguished it on the better side for me
Date: November 27th, 2010 9:41 AM Author: Sinister range
no comment on the OP, but AA is infact a piece of rancid shit. airlines based out of the US do not understand the meaning of service anymore. they also hire old, fat bitches to be flight attendants, and they hike ticket prices as low as they can but make up the difference by charging you 90$ for a fucking check in bag. as a result, every fucking faggot passenger tries to stow huge pieces of shit into the overhead bins and everything is a huge mess.
I wouldn't be so racist online, Pakram. Hypothetically, some people might know that you address based on information in their company's computer. Hypothetically, these people could also match IRL information about you with the story you poasted on xoxo (yes "fat negroes" also poast on xoxo).
So Pakram Vikshmal, tell me, how's living at 66 W. Eastman St, Braintree, MA working out for you?