If you've ever taken a human sexuality course, you know that they can be pretty intense. Not just intense in a sexual-discussion sense, although there is that, but mostly intense in the sense of brutal honesty, of talking openly about things that people don't usually deal with so directly, even with themselves.

This class was like that, and the professor was proud that she "challenged" the student to think in a more open way about sexuality. When I took it as an undergraduate, I had to admit to myself that although I considered myself straight (and still do) I have intense fantasies about the things I would do in bed with another girl. Now, a few years later, I found myself thinking about the girls in the class, and getting a thrill from thinking that they might be going through the same intense self-discovery that I had just a few years earlier.

OK. Sorry this is so long. Here's the thing I did, which I'm not proud of. The professor assigns three online surveys during the semester, one is just administrative stuff, but the other two are strictly anonymous, because they are about about each person's sexual attitudes and experience. One is like a profile, what have you done, what do you like sexually, the other is personal reactions to readings from the My Secret Garden series of books about sexual fantasies.

I was compiling the anonymous surveys into a summary PowerPoint and I saw that each survey response was tagged with a tracking number (IP address maybe?) like an anonymous code. But I realized that you could compare the codes from the two surveys and match up someone's sexual fantasies with the same (anonymous) person's sexual background and behavior. With my heart beating fast I pulled up the administrative profile surveys, which of course were not anonymous. Yep, same tracking code. I realized that I had the names and photographs to go with each of the anonymous surveys, and I stayed up most of the night reading, thinking about what each of them was doing, and fantasizing about.

Later, when we had study sessions together, it became more of an in-person fantasy, and I even ended up hooking up with one of the (female) students based on my unethical knowledge of what she fantasized about. But that is probably more than I should go into here. I do feel guilty about what I did, but I'm also secretly still glad that I did it.

tl/dr: As a TA in a human sexuality course, I violated a promise of anonymity, to creep on specific students' sexual behavior and fantasies, and ended up fantasizing about / hooking up unethically.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2393929&forum_id=2#24283129)

is this a reddit c/p?

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2393929&forum_id=2#24283150)

"Nadine": Nadine was a relatively preppy, proper girl, like in a Southern way maybe, and she was never really very open in class. She had kind of a dismissive air about her, like she couldn't really deal with the weird stuff people were admitting in class. When I looked her up, though, I saw that she had a different side of her, she masturbated several times a week, often using the handle of her hairbrush. Her favorite stories in the readings were about forced spankings, and she had come while reading about a professor spanking two students over his knee when they were caught cheating on an assignment. When we discussed that one in breakout group I asked her to give us some comments and perspective, and when she gave "that's really twisted, and out there, whatever" response I just pictured taking her in my lap, a thick dildo strapped to my thigh, and roughly spanking her naked ass until she came and came on the dildo.

"Cassie": She was shy, a sweet girl, very friendly to everyone, and I liked her from the start. She is straight, but she loved the stories of a girl assertively seducing another girl and especially the female oral sex fantasy. I found out that she had little privacy because she had a roommate, and she was not sexually active, but she masturbated in the shower every morning, and occasionally in bed when her roommate was asleep. She was the one that I went too far with, although she was a willing participant, and it happened after the end of the semester. Oh my god it was so exciting, we were at my place and we drank wine and talked about "life" and by the end of the night I was licking her and fingering her and she came so many times. I never told her about my creeping on her beforehand and she is the one that I feel the most bad about, although she definitely enjoyed it.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2393929&forum_id=2#24283152)

"Day 36. Subject 15 has discovered the matching electronic signatures between the anonymous surveys and the administrative surveys. Subject 15 seemed anxious."

"Day 37. Subject 15 called in sick for the day."

"Day 38. Subject 15's interaction with students became less rigid； the average personal distance had decreased by 5 inches."

...

"Day 164. Research assistant reported meeting with subject 15. Existence of sexual relationship confirmed. Research assistant stated that she had, in fact, achieved multiple orgasms. Observation complete, subject 15 had exhibited, as predicted, identical behavior as previous male subjects."

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2393929&forum_id=2#24373661)