She's texting me really flirty stuff and made it clear she is "obsessed" with me. I wanna be a regular at this place because they have shuffleboard and I'm getting seriously good at it. I don't want to be rude and say I'm not attracted to her or whatever. So I'm going for an autistic schtick over text to try to make her lose interest. I sent her this:

"I'm deeply interested in you physically. Your secondary sexual characteristics are very prominent, signaling extreme reproductive fitness. Would love to meet regularly for condomless creampie sex. And recreational intercourse throughout all 9 months of a healthy & productive pregnancy for which i'll pay 50% of all medical costs. Just to be up front I could never leave my own wife and kids but I have lots of sexual bandwidth to have a secret 2nd family and money would not be an issue."

Problem is she replied with heart eyes emoji almost immediately

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5922798&forum_id=2#50260658)