Date: July 14th, 2026 8:42 AM Author: stubborn therapy
Been married a few years, wife and I are both conservative whites. One son, another on the way. Wife is 38. Plenty of money, although it comes with a lot of work stress. I would love to have 3 or even 4 kids. Wife is adamant that she wants to stop after this.
Wife is demanding that I get a vasectomy to ensure there are no further babies. She says that if I don't get one, she'll get her tunes tied.
Date: July 14th, 2026 8:48 AM Author: Mildly autistic pisswyrm
the chances of a natural conception are plummeting for her right now anyway and you have a few years left max where its possible at all. just wrap it up i guess. but thats too bad she doesn't want anymore. hire a nanny given you have a lot of money if she thinks the workload with 2 small kids is too much. maybe it will move the needle.
Date: July 14th, 2026 8:51 AM Author: stubborn therapy
Nanny is a fraught subject. She is very committed to being a hands on mom who does it all with minimal help outside of a few babysitters here and there. That is a big part of the reason why she wants to stop at 2.
Date: July 14th, 2026 9:00 AM Author: stubborn therapy
So what should I do? Wife is more dead set on this than she has been about anything in our marriage. Wants to have the tubal ligation done when she's in the hospital for delivery.
Date: July 14th, 2026 9:06 AM Author: ivory brethren
tell her it's too final. advocate for some temporary measure like an IUD or shot "until you have time to settle in with the new baby and think clearly" or some shit
Date: July 14th, 2026 9:11 AM Author: Sapphire ungodly base
Good for her. Hands on mom with minimal outside help is crrrr. There is nothing better that 99.9% of people (including me) will even come close to doing in life than being involved with their kids.
FWIW, we have 4 kids, and it's not that much more difficult than 2. They largely entertain each other. And as they get older, they'll want and need much less from her (and you) and will continue to benefit from having each other. So, trying for one more should still be on the table.
Date: July 14th, 2026 12:11 PM Author: wine knife stag film
everyone's ovarian reserve/reproductive health is different. OP's wife could be one of the ones who's still as fertile in her late 30s as a typical woman in her 20s. there's a ton of individual variation and it's not at all rare for a woman to have a robust ovarian reserve at that age, even though every woman's is obviously decreasing by then. if they had an easy time with her current pregnancy, she could have several years left in her window of easy natural conception.
not saying OP should disrespect her wishes just because he might still be able to knock her up without medical asssistance in her 40s; just giving you a better sense of how it works in general in case you ever find a wife.
Date: July 14th, 2026 9:16 AM Author: Sapphire ungodly base
We have 4 kids. My wife said she's done--though sometimes she talks about how she misses having a baby--and wants me to get a vascectomy. She is adamant that I should get the vascectomy because it's a simpler procedure than whatever she would get.
While I recognize that we probably are done at 4 kids, I don't want to close the door on potentially having another. Never mind the slicing and dicing your body and what changes that might come with.
Date: July 14th, 2026 10:21 AM Author: unhinged sepia associate
Vasectomy has a psychosexual component. Many women want their man sterilized because they are done having kids with him and they feel better sterilizing him.
It represents a physical and metaphysical end to his reproductive phase, she has used it and she's making sure no other women can use it. There's a component of female intrasexual competition to the vasectomy. This is also why some men report their wife's libido dropping to absolute 0 after their vasectomy. She thinks she wants him declared sterile and of no use to any other women. However after this happens it turns out a large part of her attraction to him was the idea that other women might desire him for reproduction. Now that he's sterile the danger is gone, the feelings are gone, her libido is also sterilized.