Date: August 14th, 2019 5:53 PM Author: mauve exciting international law enforcement agency
I'm probably a 7.5-8 in terms of facial aesthetics; like a +8.5 if you look at the whole package (tall, in shape, good job, good family, high net worth, kind, intelligent, generous, general lack of mental illness, etc.).
These are people I'm looking to establish relationships with, not bang.
Date: August 14th, 2019 5:58 PM Author: mauve exciting international law enforcement agency
Possibly CR. I moved around a lot as a kid and it took a long fucking time for my self-confidence to get to normal levels. I was an unhappy shut-in for a lot of my 20s because of this. I feel like I'm finally the happy, confident person I could've been twenty years ago, but now it's too late.
Date: August 14th, 2019 6:09 PM Author: outnumbered lilac electric furnace macaca
You don’t feel insecure when fucking the 6-7s. That’s it. You’re more attracted to the 8s but you perceive your stage fright / performance anxiety as being less attracted to them.
perfectly normal, since our mainstream discourse excludes certain types (black women, thicc women, flatchested women) from being rated higher than 7.5 full stop. just like a burger place or bbq joint can't get more than one michelin star (or w/e), but sometimes some people just hanker for that over three-star fancy places (aka Victoria's Secret models).
Blue smoke would be like y’all aspie racists won’t admit that light skinned black and Afro Latina women in their 30s are disproportionately the hottest women in the world.
Date: August 15th, 2019 1:32 PM Author: Orchid nibblets pit
There is something to be said for feeling like you have the upper hand in the relationship looks-wise.
Given that sex is vitally important for a guy, I can see the value of an 8 guy getting a 7 girl who will put out more and better (to keep your interest), vs a 9 girl who might put out worse and less (because her looks keep your interest).
That said, you just can't go down to a 5 where you continue to get attention from those 7's who will put out. That is a recipe for disaster, unhappiness, and cheating.
Date: August 15th, 2019 2:29 PM Author: mauve exciting international law enforcement agency
Can confirm re upper hand looks-wise. Ex provided sex whenever I wanted it. I can't imagine being with an +8 is worthwhile if she uses sex as a tool to get her way.
Date: August 15th, 2019 2:31 PM Author: Orchid nibblets pit
cr, it's a big issue. everytime i see a really good looking guy with a less attractive girl i assume she's giving him blowjobs as his alarm clock every morning. well, at lest for younger unmarried couples. for older marrieds i just assume the woman let herself go.
Date: August 15th, 2019 2:33 PM Author: Orchid nibblets pit
i did a poast recently on this very issue::
Date: August 13th, 2019 4:35 PM
Author: Mark Ironside
eh, i'm not really like that irl.
but in any event, i sorta have a theory that a chick's looks serve two roles for a man. 1st is sex-related, 2nd is how she presents to the world and how you feel in the world while having her on your arm.
autism alert, but in that 2nd role, at least for me, there are two key lines to cross. the first is do i feel comfortable with her in public out somewhere with an attractive populace. a girl has to cross that line for me. i'm happy fucking girls who don't, but i'd be keenly aware of being out somewhere with an attractive populace where the girl on my arm didn't belong. that's no good.
the second line is the line i referenced above, where once a girl crossed it she'd be attractive enough where i wouldn't be thinking in my head about how many hot girls were at that event, because i'd feel like i had a girl in the upper tier. if i had a girl in between the two lines, i'd feel like we belonged, but i'd also be noticing the hot brunette with the tight body as a significant upgrade. once i had a girl on my arm who exceeded the 2nd line, while i'd of course want to fuck that brunette with the tight body, it would be because she was different and not because i'd be materially upgrading.
Date: August 15th, 2019 2:36 PM Author: milky bat shit crazy faggot firefighter locale
yeah makes sense...most hot chicks have hot chick baggage, and will probably not suck your penis as enthusiastically as a non-hawtie. for low-t men not motivated by penis pleasures, the social-status bump from a hawtie might be worth it
Date: August 15th, 2019 2:55 PM Author: Bronze faggotry
This was a great poast, but it isn’t responsive bc the second criterion you mention “attractive enough that I’m not in my head” is the entire question posed in the OP. He’s saying he has no second line and is inquiring about the distance between the two lines for normal dudes who would prefer to fuck hot girls more than cute-but-not-hot girls.
My take on your “two lines” framework is that the “hot enough I’m not embarrassed to be in public with you” has always been irrelevant for me. It’s basically a single line that is “hot enough to make me want to not cheat/make me interested in having sex 5,000 times.” And for me that line is basically the same as “don’t notice other hot girls” or perhaps “noticing other hot girl and wanting her feelings can be rechanneled to wanting to fuck gf.” It’s like my brain is doing a CBA and weighing the switching costs and assigning gf with a premium bc of convenience and passing basic screening for disease/insanity/annoyance. But if I’m just trying to fuck a girl in a bar then it’s literally “is she a 5.5/1 on a binary scale” and it’s a purely physical calculation made by my dick.
Date: August 15th, 2019 3:49 PM Author: Orchid nibblets pit
great poast.
yes i agree with the first part, though i repoasted that less for the OP and more for jonnyblaze
i think regarding your "single line" framework, we are almost saying the same thing. as an initial matter, we have to acknowledge that sexual chemistry makes a big difference here, and that, when you say "make me interested in having sex 5,000 times" part of that is sexual compatibility and not looks.
but as to looks, your point about transaction costs is kinda what i'm getting at.
if a girl is below the first line, i'd often think about switching if a girl is good looking enough
when a girl crosses the first line, i'm essentially saying that she's good looking enough that an average chick i could get, or even a realistically aspirational chick, wouldn't necessarily be hot enough to make me want to switch and incur those transaction costs, as i feel like what i had was acceptable for me if not optimal.
above the second line, looks alone would almost never make me want to upgrade because i'd already feel like i was in the upper tier.
also, agree 100% that none of this applies to fucking a girl from a bar and that's binary (and i'd happily fuck chicks i'd be embarrassed to take certain places on a date).
Date: August 16th, 2019 12:50 AM Author: Bronze faggotry
Yeah I just don’t get the part where you say the “hot enough to date” threshold is based on your idea of how others would perceive you and her. I get why that might be a factor, but it’s really nebulous to me v. a girl just being slightly hotter or more dateable for any other reason. It’s also highly dependent on context. E.g. a girl who wouldn’t be at the median level of hotness in any social context at my big state u ug would be top 10% of looks of the girls in my law school and those that were regulars at the bars nearby the law school. This didn’t change my own personal calculus of my “dateable” threshold in the slightest, even though the reality was that my access to attractive women in ug was a huge outlier relative to every other period in my life. My brain just spent more time focused on the half dozen or so girls at my law school that were actually hot.
Edit to add on this awesomely aspie thing I just thought about—all I’m really doing is a rarity grading. So e.g. assume the scale is:
5 - in a room of 2 women between the age of consent and let’s say 45 she is going to be the more attractive woman I.e. 150
6 - in a room of 10 women “ “ most “ “ I.e. 160
7 - in a room of 30 women “ “ I.e. 165
8 - 100 women etc. I.e. 170
9 - 10,000 I.e. 175
10- 1M i.e. 180
So there is a huge jumps in rarity and practicality when you go from 7 to 9. And I gather the OP is saying that he’s doesn’t notice that at all, but it’s what my entire framework is centered around. So a girl with 6.5/163 looks will look at herself and say “I’m hot and I’m worth it. A top 10% girl like me deserves a Chad.” And I look at her and think “you’re barely dateable and utterly replaceable.” But a 8/170 girl starts to have huge advantages bc they are usually hotter than nearly all the women I would see on a daily basis, which makes the switching costs way more of a concern. I won’t throw a 7 gf away for no reason but I’m way more likely to be tempted by the 8 if she indicates that she’s interested. This is also the scenario where cheating becomes very compelling bc even if the 8 is not signaling that she wants to date, if she indicates she wants to fuck my uh rental costs can still be minimized as long as she provides some assurance of op sec conscientiousness.
But the delta between an 8 and a 9 feels much more compressed for me, and would be for most guys unless you’re in a unique environment where 8s and 9s are plentiful and your brain spends a lot of time focused on what it prefers in the 9s and critiques in the 8s. But that was basically college for me, and all that meant was that I sought to emphasize other factors like sanity, agreeableness, and other qualities that seemed promising for a marriage-track LTR. In retrospect this was a huge fuck up and I really should have been able to realize that I would never have the same access to premium looks women again, and therefore I should have been supermarket sweepsing them into my bed for four straight years.
Date: August 16th, 2019 9:55 AM Author: Orchid nibblets pit
>> Yeah I just don’t get the part where you say the “hot enough to date” threshold is based on your idea of how others would perceive you and her. I get why that might be a factor, but it’s really nebulous to me v. a girl just being slightly hotter or more dateable for any other reason. <<
I think that's the disconnect. I'm not concerned about how others perceive her -- i'm concerned about the cohort we are a part of and the types of girls in that cohort I can get. And for me, that cohort has always been fairly attractive people.
So if I am dating a girl in UG or in NYC, or I take her on a trip to Miami or to LV or wherever, the first line for me is essentially "how does the girl i'm dating compare to the cohort i'm with, and the hypothetical girl i can get with no effort, average effort, and high effort".
if the girl i'm with is below that threshold, say a 5, it essentially means that (i) i can get 6s with minimal effort, 7s with average effort, and 8s with high effort, and (ii) perhaps more importantly, i am consistently around 6s, 7s and 8s, so i'm constantly in the position where materially better looking chicks are both available AND realistic.
as you say, below that first line, my switching costs are low, and better looking girls are plentiful.
Date: August 16th, 2019 11:02 AM Author: mauve exciting international law enforcement agency
I never said +8s don't want regular sex, but if a dude is a 8 and his GF is a 7 and the disparity in looks leads to the GF being EXTRA sexually attentive, then that's a positive externality than might not occur if a couple is more evenly matched or the girl is more attractive than the guy.
If this chart is to believed, then eventually even a 10 will be a 4-5, it's just a matter of time. Why not secure a cheerful 7 with high IQ, motherly instinct, family, money, etc. rather than going ALL IN on a depreciating asset (see muscadine wine, Thunder Collins, etc.).
Date: August 15th, 2019 2:47 PM Author: Orchid nibblets pit
because that is talking about absolute advantage as opposed to comparative advantage
if you are a 50 y.o. guy can't you see the benefit of being married to a 45 y.o. woman who is milfy and still hot for her age? even though you think the 20 y.o. looks best, a hot 45 y.o. won't have an absolute advantage but will have a comparative advantage over most other 35-50 y.o. chicks.