Date: November 30th, 2004 9:53 PM Author: fragrant french chef
I was at McDonalds, and talking with some friends and stuff. There was this guy sitting in the corner all by himself. He looked sort of depressed. I didn't really think about it until later though. He finished his food before us and walked out. Like, 30 seconds later, we hear these brakes screeching and we were like 'WTF, was that a car accident?' and we all stand up and look out the window. It was that kid. I guess he jumped in front of a car or something. He was just lying on the ground. I couldn't tell if he was alive or not. It was crazy. This lady standing in line started screaming and stuff. We didn't go out there, but we watched until the ambulance came. It was really sad when his mom showed up though. They had to sort of shovel him onto the stretcher, and as they were putting him into the ambulance, his mom saw the tread marks on his chest and head and said 'You're movin' with your uncle and auntie in Bel Air.' I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, The license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cat was rare, But I thought "Nah forget it, Yo home to Bel Air." I pulled up to the house about seven or eight, and I yelled to the cabby "Yo homes, smell ya later." Looking at my kingdom, I was finally there, To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air.
Date: January 30th, 2005 8:44 PM Author: Chartreuse stubborn den place of business
"...as they were putting him into the ambulance, his mom saw the tread marks on his chest and head and said 'You're movin' with your uncle and auntie in Bel Air.'"
Date: August 10th, 2005 4:23 PM Author: Comical travel guidebook goal in life
"They had to sort of shovel him onto the stretcher, and as they were putting him into the ambulance, his mom saw the tread marks on his chest and head and said 'You're movin' with your uncle and auntie in Bel Air.'"
Date: December 1st, 2004 11:52 PM Author: citrine sex offender
It's much more likely that you'd see this sort of random stranger dying minutes after you noticed him. But you have to be wary on xoxo whenever somebody talks about getting ANY ass at all, let alone hooking it up with a cousin. This story also had more subtle details.
Date: December 2nd, 2004 2:45 AM Author: arrogant stirring range
I just started laughing again.
HOwever, i copied the text of the OP, and emailed it to some friends (subject line-- i forgot to tell you about this) and they just wrote back saying "wtf?"
Date: December 2nd, 2004 2:48 AM Author: garnet glittery filthpig
I'm also not sure that it would work so well if the headline and text weren't so different. The whole point is that it starts out serious, which is hard to buy without the lag time.
Date: May 16th, 2005 4:48 AM Author: nudist passionate plaza
excellent concept; brilliantly executed. HRP is right about the small details, all earnest before the transition, except "shovel" is the clue something is coming. a model post.
You may not know Earl Moberg by name, but you've seen his face hundreds of times. Earl is best known for playing the cab driver in the opening credits of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I recently had the pleasure of talking with Earl about the opening credits, life, and those funky dice in the mirror.
Jeff: Did you have any idea when you were shooting the opening for Fresh Prince how big the show was going to be?
Earl Moberg: No way man, I had no idea. We shot that entire sequence in about three hours right before lunch in, wow what was it, 1989 I think. If you would have told me then I was going to be on TV twice a day sixteen years later, I would have called you a liar and told you to get of my cab.
J: That brings up an interesting point, you are a real cab driver.
EM: Yes, absolutely. I've been driving cabs 20 years.
J: So then how did you end up on TV?
EM: It's a funny story. Quincy Jones, who produced the show, got in my cab one morning. I remember it like it was yesterday - he went from Wooster & Spring to Washington Square Park. When we got there I told him there was no fare and the only payment I would accept was a high five. He looked me square in the eye, Quincy has this way of looking at you, and said "How would you like to come to Hollywood?"
J: But you never had a desire to stay?
EM: Nah, driving a cab is what I do. I had a few other offers after the show got popular, but I couldn't stop doing this.
J: Do you still keep in touch with Will?
EM: Will is a stand-up young man. He still sends my family and I a Christmas card every year. He signs it "stay fresh."
J: Did being on TV every week for years affect you?
EM: I don't know, I don't think so really. My friends would say "smell ya' later" for about a year or two. Then it got old. I don't really smell. People started to recognize me when they got in my cab for a while. It's starting to happen again now that the show's on Nick at Nite. I must have taken a thousand pictures giving people high fives over the year. But who am I kidding? I love it.
J: I ask everyone this question Earl...
EM: Hooo boy, here it comes. I'm ready for it.
J: If you could eat dinner with any three people, living or dead, who would it be?
EM: What a question! I would choose with Mahatma Ghandi, Robert DeNiro, and my wife. I think they'd all get along.
J: Earl, it's been great talking to you. One last question: what is your favorite Fresh Prince moment?
EM: [laughs] That's a hard one. I never really loved the show honestly. The subject matter could get a little salty for my taste. I didn't like how Will treated his elders. If I had to pick, I guess I like the part where he gets in the cab and says "Yo home to Bel Air!" [laughs] Or whenever Uncle Phil throws Jazz out of the house. That Jazz has a smart mouth.
Date: December 30th, 2005 2:01 PM Author: garnet glittery filthpig
yay! just in case...
I was at McDonalds, talking with some friends. This guy, sitting in the corner all by himself, looked depressed. But I didn't really think about it until later. He finished his food before us and walked out. Like, 30 seconds later, we hear these brakes screeching and we were like 'WTF, was that a car accident?' So we all stand up and look out the window. It was that kid, who I guess jumped in front of a car. He was just lying on the ground. I couldn't tell if he was alive or not. It was crazy. Then this lady started screaming. We didn't go out there, but we watched until the ambulance came. It was really sad when his mom showed up, though. They had to shovel him onto the stretcher. And, as they were putting him into the ambulance, his mom saw the tread marks on his chest and head. Suddenly, she yelled 'You're movin' with your uncle and auntie in Bel Air.' I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, The license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cat was rare, But I thought "Nah forget it, Yo home to Bel Air." I pulled up to the house about seven or eight, and I yelled to the cabby "Yo homes, smell ya later." Looking at my kingdom, I was finally there, To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air.
This is good, but I can't believe people really think it's on par with Consenus Philosophy of Shit Eating, Tried all y'all's fucking neanderthalish method, Dirty Old Voyeuristic Tale, etc.
Date: September 4th, 2007 12:04 AM Author: titillating carmine native crotch
Okay, yeah, in isolation my comment looks pretty shitty, I have to admit that.
Unfortunately, the context is in some other thread, which I have no idea how to locate now. Basically it was one of those "greatest XO threads" type of threads, and somebody there mentioned this thread, as well as the ones I referenced above, and somebody else said that this thread blew the others away. I had never seen this thread, so I did a comparison, and left my assessment here instead of there.
But yeah, bottom line is that I have horrendous pride-of-authorship issues. And also, I am fucking awesome.