Hello Foggy Bottom Dreaming. I want to play a game with you. For years you have toiled in your office, accomplishing nothing other than the misallocation of society’s resources. You refuse to explore the possibilities of the life given to you, instead only living for the meaningless thrills of closings and cocaine. You have spent your life chasing the “prestige” that comes from subservience to 22 year old investment bankers, neglecting the human connections that make life wonderful. The man across from you is a young banker who was staffed on your last deal. You never met him in person, but you might remember the time he called your studio apartment and sent you to the printers at 3AM. This will be your test: Can you see him not as a means to prestige, but as a means to your salvation?

The apparatus on your back will soon begin pumping a unique psychotropic drug into your bloodstream. In small quantities, this drug can be relaxing, pleasurable even. However, a large dose will cause hallucinations so terrible that you will take your own life to escape them. There is only one way to avoid this fate. Take the knife in front of you to the banker and do what you must. The key to your salvation lies within his heart. You may also choose to spare his life by unlocking the chains that bind him, but be aware that he has his own instructions and may overpower you if freed. His vocal cords have been severed so this choice will be yours alone. You have been granted power over another for the first time in your life, but what will you do with it? Will you risk your life to save a life? Or will you survive by understanding the true value of the life that has been given to you? Make your choice Foggy Bottom Dreaming. Let the games begin.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1115286&forum_id=2#13032921)

*stab stab stab*

*takes key, unlocks trap*

*rejoices that a new position at BB Ibank just opened up*

*prepares resume*

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1115286&forum_id=2#13033073)

Suddenly you feel queasy and look down to see yourself holding a faux leather briefcase instead of a knife. When you look up, you are in a desolate courtroom with stained carpet below and flickering fluorescent lights above. You take your seat and open the briefcase. Documents concerning the matter of LOPEZ V GEICO INSURANCE INC. are inside. The fresh-faced Suffolk Law grad sitting opposite you stands up and begins his opening statement. When your turn arrives, you are overcome with horror. You try to speak but no words come. You sweat profusely as you realize that you never actually learned to be a lawyer. The third time the african american judge's voice sarcastically booms "Your statement, counselor" is too much and you suffer a mental break. You stab yourself in the jugular with a pen, and suddenly you find yourself back in the basement with the serrated knife piercing your throat. The last thing you see before you die is a small sliver of the banker's left testicle peeking out from his boxer shorts.*

Arrogant to the end Foggy Bottom Dreaming, you refused to learn the lesson I prepared for you. The ridges on the knife align perfectly with the grooves on the apparatus. The banker's instructions were to insert the knife into the apparatus to unlock it, after which you both would have been spared. Instead of looking into his heart and viewing him as the means to your salvation as I instructed, you chose to discard both his life and your own. Game Over.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1115286&forum_id=2#13033800)

lulz at how you predicted what they would do twice in a row and designed the traps around it.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1115286&forum_id=2#13033879)

You're a great man dood

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1115286&forum_id=2#13034346)

lol tyft

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1115286&forum_id=2#13034399)

180

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1115286&forum_id=2#13034828)

plus 60

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1115286&forum_id=2#13047816)

Hilarious. 180. FBM saw the dude as a means to prestige and GOT PWND.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1115286&forum_id=2#13074805)

*180 anyway*

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1115286&forum_id=2#13034015)

I girl jizzed.

Please be my IRL BF.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1115286&forum_id=2#13034386)

I even cracked a smile.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1115286&forum_id=2#13047516)

*rings the doorbell*

*hides*

"Who could have left this here? I wonder what's inside! ... OMG, it's a cute little penguin toy!"

*jumps out of the bushes and stabs you with a syringe*

*hauls you away*

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1115286&forum_id=2#13047532)

*slips a burlap sack over you and hauls you away.*

*notices that your small stature makes transporting you surprisingly easy despite the lack of sedatives*

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1115286&forum_id=2#13054155)

do you and mandy have any friends? I say no.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1115286&forum_id=2#13054305)

Yes I do.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1115286&forum_id=2#13054328)

180 tyft

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1115286&forum_id=2#13054348)

youre awesome

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1115286&forum_id=2#13057942)