Date: January 15th, 2005 2:01 PM Author: Aphrodisiac Green Cuckold
I probably fart around 8 times per day, usually happens in the bathroom. Definitely would not fart in front of any SO that I've ever hard unless it were entirely unavoidable or I thought it would be funny. Triggered by dairy foods.
Date: January 15th, 2005 2:08 PM Author: Aphrodisiac Green Cuckold
Generally just make a quick trip to the bathroom, turn the faucets on to make some white noise, and let it rip. Its too risky to opt for an undetectable release, because this could backfire either by accidently (and noisily) letting the gas out too fast, or even if you slowly release it without making a ruckus, it could turn into the terrifying silent but deadly "SPD" fart that will stink up the sheets through the "Dutch Oven" effect. There is also always about a 1% chance that you think you're just farting but you drop a load on the bed, in which case you're either going to get thrown out of her house, or you'll find out that she has a shit fetish, which may be even worse.
Date: January 15th, 2005 4:48 PM Author: Floppy field
The farting double-standard is bullshit. Women giggle and put their hand up to their mouths, as if to say "oops! I'm cute!" No bitch, you're not cute. Your shit stinks. Either fart loud and deny it, or don't fart at all. Leave the farting to men, at least we know how to get the job done.