The most prestigious law school admissions discussion board in the world.
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 49 posters qualify.
You have 0 points. Copying this list does not send funds. Paste it on Disperse, then connect your wallet there. |
Surviving SA shouts to Emperor Dell: "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?"
| Narrow-minded crystalline ape chad | 07/01/10 |
| ungodly field | 07/01/10 |
| pearly location | 07/01/10 |
| Lascivious hell | 07/01/10 |
| Clear Adulterous Hominid Persian | 02/13/11 |
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| ungodly field | 07/01/10 |
| Magenta Theatre | 09/21/10 |
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| Obsidian chest-beating step-uncle's house marketing idea | 07/02/10 |
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| Spectacular useless national security agency home | 07/02/10 |
| ungodly field | 07/03/10 |
| Exciting sooty shrine stain | 07/03/10 |
| rusted gay wizard | 07/03/10 |
| Narrow-minded crystalline ape chad | 07/05/10 |
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| Narrow-minded crystalline ape chad | 07/08/10 |
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| Obsidian chest-beating step-uncle's house marketing idea | 07/25/10 |
| White Bateful Half-breed | 07/08/10 |
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| vibrant pervert forum | 11/08/11 |
| Historical American | 11/04/26 |
| Sable fragrant brunch | 07/11/10 |
| Narrow-minded crystalline ape chad | 07/12/10 |
| Azure Coldplay Fan Property | 07/12/10 |
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| vibrant pervert forum | 11/08/11 |
| Exciting sooty shrine stain | 07/16/10 |
| Irradiated set scourge upon the earth | 07/18/10 |
| Narrow-minded crystalline ape chad | 07/22/10 |
| ungodly field | 07/22/10 |
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| Narrow-minded crystalline ape chad | 08/21/10 |
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| Magenta Theatre | 08/26/10 |
| Gay Startling Faggot Firefighter | 01/17/11 |
| Exciting sooty shrine stain | 12/06/10 |
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| Zombie-like Vermilion Circlehead | 06/29/11 |
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Poast new message in this thread
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Date: July 1st, 2010 3:12 PM Author: Dashing Black Woman Bob Dell shouts into the ear of a cowering SA, "AM I NOT MERCIFUL?!"...why? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1354377&forum_id=2#15391434) |
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Date: July 1st, 2010 3:17 PM Author: Azure Coldplay Fan Property *Dell points to surviving SA* "Who is he?"
"They call him the Stanford, sire."
"I think I'll meet him." |
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Date: July 3rd, 2010 4:02 AM Author: Exciting sooty shrine stain Mark Flagel: You loved Tiffany's, I know. But so did I. That makes us brothers, doesn't it? Smile for me now, brother. [stabs him] |
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Date: July 5th, 2010 9:09 PM Author: Narrow-minded crystalline ape chad (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1354377&forum_id=2#15424005) |
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Date: July 8th, 2010 10:57 AM Author: ungodly field (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1354377&forum_id=2#15443713) |
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Date: July 8th, 2010 11:00 AM Author: shaky new version Bob Dell: All I've ever wanted was to live up to you, Latham. Founder. Dana Latham: Bob. Your faults as a managing partner is my failure as a founder. Come. Bob Dell: Latham. I would have butchered the whole 2009 summer class . . . if you would only love me! (*Dell smothers Latham*)
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Date: July 8th, 2010 11:05 AM Author: Dashing Black Woman (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1354377&forum_id=2#15443747) |
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Date: July 15th, 2010 5:49 PM Author: contagious blue double fault gunner Last line should read: "Dell Lathams Latham" (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1354377&forum_id=2#15516109) |
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Date: July 25th, 2010 12:55 AM Author: talented abusive menage 180 (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1354377&forum_id=2#15602780) |
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Date: July 25th, 2010 12:59 AM Author: Obsidian chest-beating step-uncle's house marketing idea lulz (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1354377&forum_id=2#15602830) |
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Date: July 8th, 2010 11:15 AM Author: White Bateful Half-breed Bob Dell: I think I understand my own summers.
Random Partner: Then perhaps the Managing Partner will be so good as to teach us, out of his own extensive experience?
Bob Dell: I call it love. The summers are my children, I am their father. I shall hold them to my bosom and embrace them tightly...
Random Partner: Have you ever embraced someone drowning in debt, sire?
Bob Dell: No, but if you interrupt me again, I assure you that you will. |
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Date: July 8th, 2010 11:20 AM Author: Azure Coldplay Fan Property "Have you ever embraced someone drowning in debt, sire?"
180 |
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Date: July 12th, 2010 4:07 AM Author: Narrow-minded crystalline ape chad (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1354377&forum_id=2#15482197) |
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Date: July 12th, 2010 6:39 AM Author: Azure Coldplay Fan Property I am Bob Dell! I shall be closer to you for the next few days, which will be the worst of your miserable lives, than that bitch of a mother who first brought you screaming into this world! I did not pay good money for your company. I paid it so that I might profit from your slavery. And just as your mother was there at your beginning, I shall be there at your end. And when you killself - and killself you shall - your transition will be to the sound of...
*opens envelope containing unemployment check*
*holds the check up high for all to see*
Associates... I salute you. |
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Date: July 12th, 2010 11:40 AM Author: Narrow-minded crystalline ape chad nice (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1354377&forum_id=2#15483182) |
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Date: July 15th, 2010 6:46 PM Author: marvelous slimy legal warrant ha (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1354377&forum_id=2#15516603) |
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Date: August 26th, 2010 12:22 PM Author: pink volcanic crater (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1354377&forum_id=2#15885565) |
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Date: May 20th, 2011 8:29 PM Author: brass piazza (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1354377&forum_id=2#18052938) |
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Date: July 12th, 2010 11:38 AM Author: Provocative ruddy stead "Summers should know when they've been non-offered." "Would you, Dell? Would I?"
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Date: July 12th, 2010 11:49 AM Author: flesh library corn cake "I am required to bill, so I bill. That is enough."
"That's enough for the provinces, but not enough for MANFUCKINGHATTAN." |
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Date: July 12th, 2010 12:01 PM Author: shaky new version Flagel: "I have been told of a certain law firm which has a very unusual method of ruining its associates. It will lie about its PPP as if wounded. Then its associates will accept smaller bonuses, and yet it will lie still. And then its associates will take little bites of its profits, and yet it continues to lie."
Dell: "So we will lie, and let our associates work for us. Have every associate given a bad review."
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Date: July 15th, 2010 3:47 AM Author: Exciting sooty shrine stain There was a dream that was V10 Latham. You could only whisper it. Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish, it was so fragile. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1354377&forum_id=2#15512196) |
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Date: July 16th, 2010 12:28 AM Author: pink volcanic crater Bob Dell: If you're very good, tomorrow night I'll tell you the story of Mark Flagel, who was betrayed by those closest to him, by his own blood. They whispered in dark corners and went out late at night and conspired and conspired but Mark Flagel knew they were up to something. He knew they were busy little bees. And one night he sat down with one of them and he looked at her and he said, "Tell me what you've been doing busy little bee or I shall layoffpwn those dearest to you. You shall watch as I spend their salaries at Tiffany's." And the emperor was heartbroken. The little bee had wounded him more deeply than anyone else could ever have done. And what do you think happened then, SA? SA: I don't know, Mr. Dell. Bob Dell: The little bee told him everything. |
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Date: July 16th, 2010 12:30 AM Author: pink volcanic crater Dave Gordon: I am required to lay off, so I lay off. That is enough. Bob Dell: That's enough for NY Biglaw, but not enough for Latham. |
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Date: July 16th, 2010 12:38 AM Author: Irradiated set scourge upon the earth (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1354377&forum_id=2#15520294) |
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Date: July 16th, 2010 12:37 AM Author: Irradiated set scourge upon the earth Bob Dell: [addressing his new recruits] I am Bob Dell! I shall be closer to you for the next few weeks, which will be the last of your miserable careers, than that bitch of a mother who first brought you screaming into this world! I did not pay good money for your company. I paid it so that I might profit from your layoffs. And just as your mother was there at your beginning, I shall be there at your end. And when you are fired - and be fired you shall - your transition will be to the sound of...
*clicks non-responsive*
Summer Associates... I salute you. |
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Date: July 16th, 2010 1:58 AM Author: Multi-colored Very Tactful Abode Flagel: Have I missed it? Have I missed the firing? Gordon: You have missed the layoffs entirely. Flagel: Sir, congratulations. I shall purchase a hundred Tiffany's sterling keys to honor your triumph. Gordon: Save your keys. Honor Dell. He Lathamed the associates. |
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Date: July 16th, 2010 2:13 AM Author: Exciting sooty shrine stain Bob Dell: Won't you accept this great summer associate position that I have offered you? Above median student: With all my heart, no. |
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Date: July 31st, 2010 3:17 PM Author: Gay Startling Faggot Firefighter [SA receives no-offer, enters Bob Dell's office]
SA: You wrote to me once, listing the four chief virtues: Wisdom, justice, fortitude and temperance. As I read the list, I knew I had none of them. But I have other virtues, Mr. Dell. Ambition. That can be a virtue when it drives us to excel. Resourcefulness, courage, perhaps not while reviewing documents, but... there are many forms of courage. Devotion, to the firm and to you. But none of my virtues were on your list. Even then it was as if you didn't want me for your Summer Associate.
Dell: Oh, Summer Associate. You go too far.
SA: I search the faces of the partners... for ways to please you, to make you proud. One kind word, one full hug... where you pressed me to your chest and held me tight. Would have been like the sun on my heart for a thousand years. What is it in me that you hate so much?
Dell: Shh, Summer Associate.
SA: All I've ever wanted was to live up to you, Dell. Father. [Dell gets down on his knees]
Dell: Summer Associate. Your faults as an employee are my failure as a father.
[They begin to hug]
SA: Dell. I would have butchered the whole SA class... if you would only love me!
[Dell begins to asphyxiate SA while they hug, SA grunts] |
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Date: August 26th, 2010 11:31 AM Author: shaky new version A persian SA from HLS walks into Bob Dell's office . . .
Dell: You rode all the way from Harvard for free food and an offer?
SA: Listen carefully, Dell. Harvard conquers and controls everything it rests its eyes upon. HLS leads an army so massive, it shakes the ground with its march. So vast, it drinks the callbacks dry. All the God-King Harvard requires is this: free food, and an offer. A token of Latham's submission to the will of Harvard.
Dell: An offer? Now that's a bit of a problem. See, rumor has it, DLA Piper has already no offered Harvard SAs. And if those shitlawyers and boy-lovers have found that kind of nerve, then . . . Latham has its reputation to consider.
SA: Choose your next words carefully, Dell, they may be your last as managing partner.
Dell: Free food and offers. You'll find plenty of them in public interest law.
SA: No man, partner or associate, threatens a Harvard SA. This is madness! This is blasphemy!
Dell: Madness? THIS. IS. LATHAM.
*kicks SA out the window* |
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Date: August 26th, 2010 12:01 PM Author: Magenta Theatre On this day, we reach back to hallowed antiquity, to bring you a recreation of the second fall of the mighty Sherman and Sterling!... On the barren plain of Sutton Place, there stood the magna grads of the associate class. Ferocious gunners and law review editors from all T6 law schools, bent on merciless billing, partnership. Your managing partner is pleased to give you the associate horde! (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1354377&forum_id=2#15885372) |
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