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Date: December 12th, 2015 2:46 PM Author: haunting weed whacker elastic band Your honor, I would like to now call defendant's expert witness, Neil DeGrasse Tyson to the stand.
Dr. Tyson, did you prepare any demonstratives for the court today?
Tyson: I did Mr. Pumo
Dr Tyson, take a look at what is on the projector, do recognize this picture?
[1st year associate flicks button while projector warms up. In a matter of seconds, the first demox is on the screen in the courtroom http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/736/942/648.gif ]
Tyson: I do, that is a demonstrative that I have prepared to assist the court in understanding my scientific opinion
Dr Tyson, can you read that phrase to the jury?
Tyson: "Nutted but she still suckin"
Thank you Dr. Tyson, and what does that mean?
Tyson: well, by definition, after "nutting," a man is in a weakened state as can be seen by the animated "gif" or "jiff" depending on the pronunciation. You can tell he is weekend because of the blurriness.
Thank you Dr. Tyson, now as for the second part of the phrase, why is that relevant?
Tyson: well you see, because a man is in a weakened state, and because "she still suckin" there is absolutely no way that could be rape. I mean, just look at the gif.
Thank you Dr. Tyson. Your witness counsel. |
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