Date: September 22nd, 2016 10:38 PM Author: wonderful bearded locus
We meet up near her place after exchanging some sexual messages
She's cubbier than her pics, I'm aspier than mine, ok fine it's fair
We get something to eat and convo is okay even though we are fairly different
Ask if she wants to go back to her place, she says yes and pops on a movie
I'm thinking everything is good to go, putting my arm around her, notice she isn't reciprocating as much
Like 30 minutes into the movie I turn her around to kiss, she declines. She's like on her phone, think she was on tinder again lmao
Soon after says I should go back home, so I leave promptly. Face was beet red, half hour commute back. Like why the fuck would a girl invite you up to her place and be totally cold and not even want to make out?
Date: September 22nd, 2016 11:09 PM Author: Beady-eyed Infuriating Garrison Coldplay Fan
Ok, you were already done there before you got to her place.
Your choice of venue did you in. If you want a first date hookup, you need to go somewhere where touching is natural and you can move to a few different locations. If you're standing somewhere in a bar it's no big deal to touch a chick on the arm, later when you go somewhere to sit, you sit close and keep moving it along physically. When you get home to watch a movie, it's all going to flow a lot more naturally.
Everything about your post says that nothing was done to get the chick comfortable with you physically (and no, an awkward first cuddle when starting a movie isn't building comfort, it probably made her less comfortable). This can be overcome if a chick really likes you or really wants to get fucked, but is usually fatal.
If you had done everything right, it would have been natural to kiss her within a couple minutes of sitting on the couch.
Protip: if the girl is actually paying attention to the act of watching the movie instead of you, you probably fucked up. Also, in a situation like that where you created an awkward vibe by not escalating properly, dramatically going in for the kiss was the worst thing you could have done. The only way to rehab yourself in that situation is to escalate touching.
Don't beat yourself up over it. It took me a while to comprehend how important venue/seating are in an online date
Date: September 22nd, 2016 11:24 PM Author: wonderful bearded locus
yeah i get what you're saying and it makes sense, i admit my game isn't that good. just peeved that she would invite me up to her place and then reject me. i have had plenty of rejections before getting to their place. after i get there, it's usually smooth sailing. always got the feeling, because of that, that things were outside my control. i think this is the first time i could feel where what you said would have made a definite difference.
Date: September 22nd, 2016 11:32 PM Author: Beady-eyed Infuriating Garrison Coldplay Fan
The most logical explanation is that she was DTF and then changed her mind not because of anything wrong with you, but rather just because sitting on a couch with a chick for the first time can be awkward if you didn't do things right before you got there.
Date: September 22nd, 2016 10:55 PM Author: wonderful bearded locus
I wouldn't have if she had been receptive early on. Avoided me grabbing her hand even from the moment the movie came on. Insane, what was her purpose?
Yeah I do now regret like not grabbing her immediately and trying to make out as soon as we stepped foot inside her door or whatever, but that's hindsight speaking, not always the cr move
Date: September 22nd, 2016 11:33 PM Author: maize misunderstood coffee pot
Welcome to Tinder. The chicks on there can be super weird. They dont know themselves what they want. If they were really socially well adjusted they probably wouldnt be on Tinder.
"We meet up near her place after exchanging some sexual messages"
FUCKUP #1.
ALWAYS make the her come to YOUR neighborhood. Girls who are not willing to come to your neighborhood != DTF.
"We get something to eat and convo is okay even though we are fairly different"
FUCKUP #2.
Should've met for tea/coffee in YOUR building. Or the nearest coffee shop. Dinner first is high risk and little reward. Post-fuck dinner/lunch? = OK
"Ask if she wants to go back to her place, she says yes and pops on a movie"
FUCKUP #3.
You take her upstairs to YOUR place. If you don't have a coffeshop in your building, you walk her to back to your building after agreeing to move to somewhere else.
"I'm thinking everything is good to go, putting my arm around her, notice she isn't reciprocating as much. Like 30 minutes into the movie I turn her around to kiss, she declines. She's like on her phone, think she was on tinder again lmao."
FUCKUP #4.
Always get physical BEFORE you bring her back to your place. While chatting over tea, you should've held her hands and more if you could manage it.
"Soon after says I should go back home, so I leave promptly. Face was beet red, half hour commute back. Like why the fuck would a girl invite you up to her place and be totally cold and not even want to make out?"
See FUCKUP #1, FUCKUP #2, FUCKUP #3.
ADDENDUM -
FUCKUP #5
You didn't have a second/third/fourth date lined up for afterwards.
Date: September 22nd, 2016 11:54 PM Author: wonderful bearded locus
i don't live in your world
try to put yourself in my shoes
why would an american girl on tinder travel 30 minutes to see a guy she's never met when she has 50 guys messaging her at the same time, many of whom live closer.
also, every fucking country is a girl's online dating market. do you think i succeed with every girl i message? hell no. you just have to filter out the non-dtf girls.
continue to travel instead of making her come to YOU. you will just keep on wasting time and money.
i mean, it doesnt matter to me because its not my money or time. i just want to see my xoxo brothers smash as much pussy as possible. but you are not going about it the right way at all.
Date: September 23rd, 2016 12:11 AM Author: wonderful bearded locus
you have no ability to empathize with others.
let's say i get 50 matches a month. maybe 10 of them are even willing to talk to me. let's say i ask all 10 of them to travel 10-30 minutes to see me. all 10 will be busy.
let's say i travel 10-30 minutes to see them. i meet up 5 times, get rejected 4 times, and succeed once.
that's not exactly on par with your numbers where you're messaging thousands of girls and you are located in the center of the city or whatever, but it's the best i can reasonably do.
you pushing your shitty advice wherever it doesn't apply, just shows how narcissistic you are.
First, of all, stop depending on ONE app. There are literally dozens of apps out there. You need to be on as many as possible in order to maximize your returns.
You need to be texting more girls.
Now, if the problem is that you simply cannot get enough girls to come to YOU, then you are just not attractive enough.
That's the cold nigga truth. You need to work on improving yourself in order to become more attractive to women.
Secondly, even if you are not located downtown, you definitely have a coffee shop near your building. Just go to the NEAREST one.
height? weight? what do you look like? do you work out? income? prestige?
there are a lot of variables here and clearly you just arent alpha enough to get girls. guys who do well IRL do well online. guys who dont do well IRL dont do well online.
just the fact that you think moving to a new country is a prequisite to improving your attractiveness is beta as fuck thinking. you dont have to move anywhere to improve yourself.
Date: September 23rd, 2016 12:35 AM Author: Electric chocolate piazza
this is generally good advice, but it's much more applicable to asian girls. WGs need more than to scare them into a place where they're too frightened to scream no.
Date: September 23rd, 2016 2:17 AM Author: Electric chocolate piazza
no. no, you didn't.
you have two plausible routes to getting laid. they're all hookers, and your parents pay them to keep you happy. or koreans have a very different idea of rape than we have in the US
Date: September 23rd, 2016 2:21 AM Author: Electric chocolate piazza
i fight for my asian brothers. but you just happen to be a schizophrenic faggot. so, while i empathize with your clinical mental illness, you're still an obnoxious blight on this bort.
Date: September 23rd, 2016 12:09 AM Author: Soul-stirring Clown
The girl sounds pretty lame/dumb - i guess i would have tried to kiss her earlier on; like get back to the apartment, provide a little tour, then kiss her