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Mich Law Offensive email drama
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:23 PM Author: Slap-happy rambunctious box office persian Subject: This is very interesting for those who know http://dionwantsanswers.blogspot.com/ (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956044) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:37 PM Author: titillating orchestra pit Awesome. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956175) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:39 PM Author: Harsh lavender abode is this a real person? What a tool. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956195) |
Date: January 31st, 2006 1:41 PM Author: Godawful turquoise cuckold "Right now, after about a week of study, I’m scoring in the 159 – 162 range on the LSAT. Hopefully I’ll be able to get that up to at least 165 by June which, along with good grades in my undergraduate degrees, should give me a fair shot of getting into some good law schools, including University of Texas." I bet Zearfoss regrets taking a shot on this guy. |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:56 PM Author: charcoal gaped school cafeteria um, I'm not sure what you meant by "taking a shot". But if he got close to a 165, he was pretty much an autoadmit.
I also found it funny that he mentioned UT's "#14 ranking" |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 3:39 PM Author: motley flushed whorehouse ratface Not at UM. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4957243) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:41 PM Author: charcoal gaped school cafeteria what a douche. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956214) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:44 PM Author: Submissive casino Wow... I'm speechless. This looks even worse than lizalina's NYU email. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956236) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:44 PM Author: charcoal gaped school cafeteria ? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956243) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:45 PM Author: Harsh lavender abode I was thinking about the email just the other day. What ever happened to her? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956246) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:54 PM Author: Ruby swollen gaping That was my first thought as well. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956319) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:45 PM Author: self-centered business firm queen of the night Can you post it here. For some reason I can't open the link. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956245) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:45 PM Author: Submissive casino From: dalaniz@umich.edu Date: Jan 27, 2006 12:13 PM Subject: Re: [LAW 540 001 F05-Announcement] On being late with your grades To: rhills@umich.edu Cc: lawofficial.1LM@umich.edu, lawofficial.1LN@umich.edu, lawofficial.1LO@umich.edu, lawofficial.1LP@umich.edu, dbaum@umich.edu Professor Hills,
The morning of Friday has now come and gone. A few questions and requests:
1. When did you begin grading our exams?
2. Was it not foreseeable that by giving a 20 page exam with a 6,000 word limit that you were thereby committing yourself to an extensive grading project that would require you to begin grading the exams before whatever your answer to #1 above is?
3. In our review session before the final you sermonized about the professional responsibilities of an attorney. Because we would hold such weighty responsibilities in our professional careers you said that you would impose similar responsibilities regarding the exam. In particular, you made it clear that you would brook no excuse regarding an exam turned in after the 8 hour time limit. You made it clear that we were responsible for planning ahead and ensuring that the 8 hour time limit would be honored. Do you feel no reciprocal responsibility toward us, your students? A responsibility that extends beyond ex post facto apologies?
4. Please stop saying "I'm so sorry". A) The phrase has lost all meaning from constant repetition throughout the entire semester. B) Few students believe you. C) Fewer students care whether you>subjectively impose upon yourself an appropriate level of guilt.
Sincerely, Dion Alaniz
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Quoting rhills@umich.edu:
[Dear students,]
I am terribly sorry to say that, despite my best efforts, I find myself behind in my grading. I have almost completed grading the exams for Constitutional Law and hope to finish no later than the morning of Friday, 1/27.
I will post the grades with exam ID numbers on the ctools website as soon as I've finished grading -- by Friday, at the latest. I know that prospective employers will want your first term grades asap, and I will make every effort to speed the grading along.
[Professor Hills]
> > This automatic notification message was sent by CTools ( > > https://ctools.umich.edu) from the LAW 540 001 F05 site. > > You can modify how you receive notifications at My Workspace > > > Preferences. > > ----- End forwarded message ----- |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:03 PM Author: self-centered business firm queen of the night thanks (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956393) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:53 PM Author: Harsh lavender abode Can someone post lizalina's NYU email? I miss it. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956305) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:46 PM Author: charcoal gaped school cafeteria First thought: that fucking subject line.
Subject: On being late with your grades
This immediately outs Dion as one of those insufferable academics who thinks every email they write is a treatise on the topic at hand. Deep in his mind I'm confident that he equates this email on his grades being a little late to Thoreau's essay on civil disobedience. Get over yourself, Dion. "Late grades" would have sufficed.
The funniest thing about this ridiculous subject line is that he follows the pretentious "On..." lead with the more conversational "being late with your grades." It's all or nothing, kid. Probably would have been better if you had "On the Grave Injustice of Late Grades" or "On Genocide and Famine, and Why Late Grades are Probably Worse Than Both," or "On My Being an Oversensitive 1L." As Dr. John Dolan said in his critique of "On Bullshit," the mixing of academic and populist diction in a title is a cheap gimmick, but in Dion's case I think it was accidental, which just shows him to be a clumsy and desperate academic poseur.
What's more, the subject line doesn't even make much sense. Traditionally, haughty academic titles beginning with "on" are followed by something concrete. Even "On the Origin of Species" had a fairly active flavor to it. But "On Being Late with your Grades" just sounds limp and tepid. He loses all the oomph of that badass "on" leader by following it with a passive, confusing and overly specific indictment of the professor. "On Late Grades" would have been better, amplifying the transgression beyond just Dion and his classmates and into an attack on the concept of late grading as a univeral failure of humanity. Only then would Dion's little manifesto truly become as grand as he would hope, tucked in every neurotic 1L's rolling backpack or clutched in their pale, trembling, carpal-tunneled hands. |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:50 PM Author: Concupiscible free-loading range feces This is even more hilarious after reading a comment to this post on the blog, which points out that the subject line was the Prof's. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956279) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:48 PM Author: house-broken philosopher-king WOW (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956264) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:49 PM Author: avocado thriller foreskin This is, um, awesome.
What a douche. |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:50 PM Author: Jade medicated associate rehab Well that wasn't very smart. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956278) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:51 PM Author: Submissive casino I really wonder what possesses guys like this to send out emails like that, especially to the entire 1L class. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956286) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:53 PM Author: unholy lake sex offender parlor It wasn't to the entire class, although considering how quickly it forwarded, it may as well have been. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956307) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 3:11 PM Author: kink-friendly mind-boggling parlour dysfunction It was to the entire Con Law class. Section MNOP. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4957057) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:58 PM Author: charcoal gaped school cafeteria Its hard to understand the inner-workings of a self-entitled douchebag. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956343) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 5:39 PM Author: Glittery Marketing Idea Idea He Suggested Maybe I can be of some help in this exercise. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4958053) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:58 PM Author: french wonderful stead "Well that wasn't very smart."
i doubt this ws the first evidence the guy is a jackass; and i don't quite see how it's such a monumental error
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:02 PM Author: Jade medicated associate rehab Oh, I don't think it'll get the guy kicked out or blacklisted or anything. It just seems like a lot of effort and embarassment over something pretty minor. In general, the pissed off trying to be witty email is never very smart. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956388) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:09 PM Author: french wonderful stead it's clearly not in your character to do something like that. but you might overestimate the ease with which other people absorb obvious, rational insights. among law students there seems to be a strong need to be noticed -- preferably for something good. but, failing that, they will subscribe to the "no such thing as bad publicity" axiom. in any fairly big law firm, there are several comparable incidents every year. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956462) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:16 PM Author: Jade medicated associate rehab That sounds like a correct analysis of the motivations behind emails like these. Also, I think sometimes people just get carried away with their own cleverness or righteousness or frustration sometimes. I don't think it's inaccurate to point out that sending a pissy email to a superior is seldom the wisest choice, though.
I've certainly had worse things forwarded to me. There will be a little flurry about this and it'll die down. |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:50 PM Author: Wine disgusting fanboi telephone he might even post here:
Michigan 1L - first grade is in |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:54 PM Author: Submissive casino Interesting, but isn't the timing a bit off? Or was there another email before this one? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956316) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:57 PM Author: Wine disgusting fanboi telephone no idea. i was just amazed by his passive-aggressive doucheness in that thread. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956338) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:58 PM Author: Submissive casino How do you know it's him and not another idiot 1L though? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956345) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:59 PM Author: Wine disgusting fanboi telephone i don't. that's why i wrote "might." (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956356) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:06 PM Author: Submissive casino Well you were correct, he did post here... it's BigTex.
OMG!! Dion Alaniz IS BigTex!!! |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:07 PM Author: Wine disgusting fanboi telephone yup, i saw the other thread. ha, he might as well be that 0987654321 douche from the other grade thread. fits is aggro-style. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956438) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:56 PM Author: salmon disturbing trailer park private investor never mind
this guy is a moron. |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:58 PM Author: Citrine sexy travel guidebook mad-dog skullcap hi Dion! (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956350) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:59 PM Author: salmon disturbing trailer park private investor no. sorry (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956366) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:59 PM Author: charcoal gaped school cafeteria sarcasm? I can't tell. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956354) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:01 PM Author: salmon disturbing trailer park private investor not at all. can you imagine if the shoe were on the other foot.
the students deadline is one day and that passes. the person emails the prof and says sorry! it will be done by friday am. then that deadline passes. the student would get an F. so should the prof be fired or severely reprimanded. the admin lets this stuff fly so it was up to the student to handle it and he did an excellent job. i guarantee you that this profs grades will be handed in on time this upcoming semsester |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:03 PM Author: Citrine sexy travel guidebook mad-dog skullcap You are operating under the assumption that the same rules apply both ways. Clearly, they don't. Sometimes you just have to quit being a whiny fag and accept the fact that your grades might take a bit longer. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956403) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:10 PM Author: salmon disturbing trailer park private investor yes you are right. on second thought this guy is a typical law school know it all moron. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956467) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 1:59 PM Author: Submissive casino There was no need for him to take such a harsh tone, or to CC it to a student listserv. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956357) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:00 PM Author: charcoal gaped school cafeteria The morning of Friday has now come and gone. A few questions and requests:
1. When did you begin grading our exams?
2. Was it not foreseeable that by giving a 20 page exam with a 6,000 word limit that you were thereby committing yourself to an extensive grading project that would require you to begin grading the exams before whatever your answer to #1 above is?
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:02 PM Author: Submissive casino What's really sad is that #3 and #4 were much worse than that, and so unnecessary:
3. In our review session before the final you sermonized about the professional responsibilities of an attorney. Because we would hold such weighty responsibilities in our professional careers you said that you would impose similar responsibilities regarding the exam. In particular, you made it clear that you would brook no excuse regarding an exam turned in after the 8 hour time limit. You made it clear that we were responsible for planning ahead and ensuring that the 8 hour time limit would be honored. Do you feel no reciprocal responsibility toward us, your students? A responsibility that extends beyond ex post facto apologies?
4. Please stop saying "I'm so sorry". A) The phrase has lost all meaning from constant repetition throughout the entire semester. B) Few students believe you. C) Fewer students care whether you>subjectively impose upon yourself an appropriate level of guilt. |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:15 PM Author: french wonderful stead maybe it's true. you're so obsessed with the decorum of these things that you do neglect to cosider the possibility that there are crappy professors fully deserving of having their laziness or incompetence exposed. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956547) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:26 PM Author: Jade medicated associate rehab Well it's certainly true that a lot of professors deserve blame for their grading habit. But I think it's generally unwise to send out mass emails, especially ones that try to be too clever or funny, because they have such a potential to be forwarded. Being straightforward and using another medium is usually a better way to get your thoughts across. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956670) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:01 PM Author: doobsian piazza liquid oxygen Yeah, but whose blog is this? To go to the trouble of making a blog about this is almost just as toolish as the initial e-mail. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956381) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:04 PM Author: salmon disturbing trailer park private investor its way worse. asnd the coward is being anonymous unlike dion (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956408) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:05 PM Author: Godawful turquoise cuckold I think it's pretty funny. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956426) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:03 PM Author: salmon disturbing trailer park private investor this guy is an idiot you are right (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956397) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:06 PM Author: Citrine sexy travel guidebook mad-dog skullcap You are one of three things: Dion, or flame. Or both. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956429) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:09 PM Author: Aquamarine mildly autistic sound barrier hall try door number 4, gigantic idiot (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956456) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:11 PM Author: salmon disturbing trailer park private investor no i agree with you on second thought (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956485) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:07 PM Author: charcoal gaped school cafeteria JFC, profs are late with grades all the time and if you think that it merited talking down to a professor, well then I look forward to the day when you get passed over for promotion hundreds of times for saying something half this bad to one of your future employers. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956441) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:11 PM Author: Submissive casino Even if it did merit a talking down, he could've just sent the email to the prof privately, instead of CCing a student listserv. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956478) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:12 PM Author: salmon disturbing trailer park private investor yes i agree that this was wrong (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956493) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:03 PM Author: self-centered business firm queen of the night Haha, hilarious. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956404) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:12 PM Author: hairless puppy crackhouse Subject: This is hilarious "What's truly scary about this is that Dion is not an aberration. While he may be an extreme example, there are thousands of douched-out gunner nutbag assholes just like him infesting law schools across the country.
In a disturbing example of personality-Darwinism, douchebaggery thrives at law schools across this country because more often than not, douchebags like Dion survive and become employed. Some of these douchebags then get involved in their law firms' hiring programs, and are prone to recommend the hiring of douchebags following in their douche-y trail. This has to be stopped." |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:12 PM Author: galvanic balding garrison international law enforcement agency I'm still laughing (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956501) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:13 PM Author: exhilarant puce den The guy who sent the email is retarded for sending it, but he is 100% correct.
Can you imagine the prof's excuse being acceptable in any other profession? If he was willing to work more than 3 hours a day, he would be able to finish grading in a week.
If the prof was honest he would have said: "due to my laziness, I have been sitting on my ass for the past month and I refuse to work more than 4 hours a day."
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:14 PM Author: charismatic generalized bond Are people really this steamed over slightly late grades? One of my profs took almost a year to post p/f grades for a class that basically nobody has ever failed. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4956533) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:21 PM Author: Slap-happy rambunctious box office persian We were mostly steamed about the whole course being constantly late, and all the excuses.
However, only Dion had the good sense to call the professor out in a public forum, including CC'ing the dean of students.
Practically every professor has learned of this controversy. I would not be surprised if it continues to follow him to his employers, etc.
He won't get away with acting like this for long. |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:24 PM Author: purple temple "He won't get away with acting like this for long."
172 |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 2:26 PM Author: doobsian piazza liquid oxygen "Practically every professor has learned of this controversy. I would not be surprised if it continues to follow him to his employers, etc. He won't get away with acting like this for long." Who, Dion or Hills? |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 3:13 PM Author: hairless puppy crackhouse Dion. As for Hills, I suspect that he has forwarded it to all of his colleagues, who have done the same to other colleagues at firms and in academia. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4957075) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 3:14 PM Author: kink-friendly mind-boggling parlour dysfunction We? You said you weren't in section MNOP. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4957080) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 3:18 PM Author: kink-friendly mind-boggling parlour dysfunction Date: January 27th, 2006 9:20 PM Author: Turd Ferguson
Wayfare...ABCD, EFGH, IJKL, or MNOP?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: January 27th, 2006 9:40 PM Author: Wayfare
EFGH
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Date: January 31st, 2006 4:05 PM Author: Ruby swollen gaping People said that about Lizalina too. AFAIK, nothing bad happened to her. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4957393) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 4:06 PM Author: Jade medicated associate rehab I doubt his future employers will care that much. They tend to be forgiving of email problems - Jonas Blank still has his job.
He'll get made fun of by fellow students for a year or two, maybe get on the bad side of a few professors, but that will probably be it unless he does other things of this nature. |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 4:26 PM Author: ungodly property mental disorder FWIW, i think Jonas Blank is a hoax. the email thing, i mean, not the person. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4957524) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 8:33 PM Author: Jade medicated associate rehab No, the email was real. Jonas was at Harvard when I was there. He admitted to it, it wasn't like he was framed or anything. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4959800) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 8:05 PM Author: Overrated insane cuckoldry It's more than e-mail problems, though. Dion aka BigTex lied on his law school applications and bragged about it publicly. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4959475) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 8:35 PM Author: Jade medicated associate rehab Employers certainly won't care about that. If he's the kind of guy who does that kind of shit all the time it'll probably come back to him, but I doubt anyone hiring him will care about these particular instances. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4959815) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 6:31 PM Author: deranged bossy church codepig calabresi? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4958522) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 4:00 PM Author: Cowardly Rebellious Place Of Business Yarmulke I don't think the tone of the email is especially disrespectful. It's 90% appropriate and only 10% too sarcastic. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4957359) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 4:04 PM Author: Ruby swollen gaping Most appropriate moniker ever. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4957384) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 4:13 PM Author: Cowardly Rebellious Place Of Business Yarmulke Thank you, thank you very much. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4957436) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 5:24 PM Author: Tan sanctuary fortuitous meteor And... The blog is down. I knew he wouldn't have the chutzpah to keep it up. |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 6:22 PM Author: hairless puppy crackhouse Subject: Here's the blog for anyone who didn't get to see it Read from the bottom up:
"Notify Blogger about objectionable content. What does this mean? Blogger MMS Friends Get your own blogFlag BlogNext blog BlogThis! Dion Alaniz Wants Answers, Professor Hills
On January 27, 2006, a 1L at the University of Michigan Law School sent an email to his Constitutional Law professor, taking the professor to task for being late in grading his Con Law exam. He is a douche. This is his story. Wednesday, January 31, 2007 Click here to read the loathsome email in its entirety.
posted by alaniz_vs_hills at 11:47 AM 4 comments Tuesday, January 31, 2006 Dion On... A quick Googling of Dion's name yields this blog. Whether or not it is the same Dion we don't know. That's up to you to decide (although the blogging Dion was planning to go to law school this year). He posted all of this on the internet, so of course he wouldn't mind us taking a look, right?
The bulk of the blog is made of up crazed diatribes apparently dispatched during various solitary hikes along the Appalachian Trail.
Compared to these gems, the infamous email is about as nutty as a tax return. Based upon the blog, we have concluded that it is very, very likely that Dion will track and kill us. And he'd be successful. So there's that.
What time is it? It's crazy time:
On Elves and Dew (love of): "I didn't start out here as a naive sap. I had the 2 canonical experiences that harden a young man past his boyish love of elves and dew."
On Cannibalism: "I think just about everything makes me cry. I indulge myself when i cry. As i'm crying outward I crawl back in on myself to eat the marrow of it - relishing every fatty delicious bite. It makes me sick and ashamed. I try not to think about it too much. Is that me? Am I doing that to myself?"
On defenses to formations of contracts, and iguanas: "'Fuck you god – I signed that contract under duress!' and I was back out surfing before fully digesting the iguana."
On what it all means: "Is that the final conclusion of an authentic life? Lying on the floor masturbating with a gun to one's head?"
On LSD: "My belly button sprouted a sunflower. Sometimes i cry when that happens and look around to see if anyone saw. Often i don't know whether to cry or to fight. Often I can't tell the difference. They seem the same. I like fighting. It makes me want to cry, which makes me angry, and makes me want to fight more."
On getting stronger: "It was a rough hike over Dugger but as soon as it was done my body felt great about continuing and there was enough light to push on to Terrapin. Damn! My body is getting so strong!"
On getting even fucking stronger than that: "And each day I feel my body growing stronger! I feel like a monster, a complete brute, a huge twisting mass of muscle that pushes its way wherever it wills to go. I love the flesh!"
On surfing in Mexico several times: "I went surfing in Mexico several times."
On light bestiality: "I kissed a pony but haven't told my wife yet. She won't be jealous. She'll just laugh."
On schizophrenia: "I signed my first register on the A.T. today. I signed it "Crom". Crom will be my trail name on the A.T. He breathed into me the gift of defiance at birth and I'll be damned if I waste it."
On Crom: "Crom is so smart."
On schizophrenia, II: "There are many parts of my psyche that fear this because they know it means their possible destruction. They fear what I am doing and with wild panic attempt to abort this mission. But Crom, the beast, the destroyer, the liberator will not let them."
On creating a bullshit reason to rationalize bitching out on a hike, apparently 4 hours after seeing Red Dragon: "And shortly after passing the shelter I realized there was no need for my hike to continue. My metamorphosis was complete."
On alter-ego's reaction to above-referenced pussing-out on a hike: "Crom raised no protest. Not a peep. Having observed that the metamorphosis he had been tasked to propel me through had been completed he once again returned to his long slumber."
On application of swidden farming techniques, or, On electroshock therapy: "I believe I am destroying vast acres of myself. Scorching the earth on wide planes of my mind so that something new can emerge in its place."
On revisionist memory of high school: "From confused and depressed pre-teen, to dashing high school surfer guy, to brooding collegiate intellectual, to polyester clad night club dancing performance artist...Crom has been there to destroy what was and allow what will become."
On Dasher, on Dancer...: "In the desert, and the frozen wasteland, I - dion - reemerge as an entity distinct from and in contrast to WORLD. I am a being exposed in naked fragility. But it's *MY* fucking naked fragility! I own it. I make it. I burn it. I destory it. I heal it."
posted by alaniz_vs_hills at 1:09 PM 0 comments Monday, January 30, 2006 Now go get your shinebox As I understand it, Dion sent his bratty salvo around noon Friday, and grades were posted shortly afterward (likely due in no part to his tragically misguided missive). Prof. Hills followed up today with a group email describing access to a marked-up exam, as well as his dressing down of Dion. The relevant part:
One final note on professional civility: Although I am sure that this admonition is entirely unnecessary for most of you, I remind you that the rules of professional conduct of every state bar as well as the model rules of the ABA require that "[a] lawyer shall treat with courtesy and respect all persons involved in the legal process." (Michigan Rules of Professional Conduct, Rule 6.5).
This general admonition is generally taken to require that attorneys "treat all other counsel, parties and witnesses in a civil and courteous manner, not only in court, but also in all other written and oral communications" and to "abstain from disparaging personal remarks or acrimony toward other counsel, parties, or witnesses." (Local Rules of the U.S. district court for the Eastern District of Michigan).
I insist that law students follow these standards of courtesy, civility, and respect in and out of my class. In grading exams and, indeed, in teaching the course, I operated under the standing assumption that every student does their best to understand the material, attend class diligently, do the reading, and otherwise generally act in good faith. Therefore, throughout the term, I have endeavored to respond to student questions and requests with professional courtesy and civility, without invective, sarcasm, or imputations of bad faith. While perfection in class attendance, class preparation, exam-taking, etc., is not to be expected, civility and courtesy are always required.
I expect the same standard of professional conduct from you in discussing the examination procedure, grades, or any other topic. I am happy to listen to any disagreements that you might have with my grading procedures: I will not tolerate such disagreements registered with "disparaging personal remarks or acrimony" (to quote the local rules of this federal district).
I said good day!
posted by alaniz_vs_hills at 2:13 PM 4 comments The Original Email I'll paste the forward in its entirety, removing some formatting notations for readability.
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Forwarded Message: From: dalaniz@umich.edu Date: Jan 27, 2006 12:13 PM Subject: Re: [LAW 540 001 F05-Announcement] On being late with your grades To: rhills@umich.edu Cc: lawofficial.1LM@umich.edu, lawofficial.1LN@umich.edu, lawofficial.1LO@umich.edu, lawofficial.1LP@umich.edu, dbaum@umich.edu Professor Hills,
The morning of Friday has now come and gone. A few questions and requests:
1. When did you begin grading our exams?
2. Was it not foreseeable that by giving a 20 page exam with a 6,000 word limit that you were thereby committing yourself to an extensive grading project that would require you to begin grading the exams before whatever your answer to #1 above is?
3. In our review session before the final you sermonized about the professional responsibilities of an attorney. Because we would hold such weighty responsibilities in our professional careers you said that you would impose similar responsibilities regarding the exam. In particular, you made it clear that you would brook no excuse regarding an exam turned in after the 8 hour time limit. You made it clear that we were responsible for planning ahead and ensuring that the 8 hour time limit would be honored. Do you feel no reciprocal responsibility toward us, your students? A responsibility that extends beyond ex post facto apologies?
4. Please stop saying "I'm so sorry". A) The phrase has lost all meaning from constant repetition throughout the entire semester. B) Few students believe you. C) Fewer students care whether you>subjectively impose upon yourself an appropriate level of guilt.
Sincerely, Dion Alaniz
------------------
Quoting rhills@umich.edu:
[Dear students,]
I am terribly sorry to say that, despite my best efforts, I find myself behind in my grading. I have almost completed grading the exams for Constitutional Law and hope to finish no later than the morning of Friday, 1/27.
I will post the grades with exam ID numbers on the ctools website as soon as I've finished grading -- by Friday, at the latest. I know that prospective employers will want your first term grades asap, and I will make every effort to speed the grading along.
[Professor Hills]
> > This automatic notification message was sent by CTools ( > > https://ctools.umich.edu) from the LAW 540 001 F05 site. > > You can modify how you receive notifications at My Workspace > > > Preferences. > > ----- End forwarded message -----
posted by alaniz_vs_hills at 10:01 AM 2 comments The morning of friday has now come and gone! On January 27, 2006, a 1L at the University of Michigan School of Law named Dion Alaniz sent an appalling email to his Constitutional Law professor (and others), taking the professor to task for being late in grading his Con Law exam. Thanks to the power of email forwarding, Dion's email made it out of the U. Mich campus and quickly spread across the Internet as all awful things these days must do.
While there's certainly something unsavory and probably misogynistic about the term, there's really never been a better fit for it: Dion Alaniz is a fucking douche.
Dion will be a minor internet footnote at best in a week or two, the latest funny email forward spawning millions of "who is this guy?" responses. But there's a lesson to be learned from Dion's douchebaggery - an important lesson.
What's truly scary about this is that Dion is not an aberration. While he may be an extreme example, there are thousands of douched-out gunner nutbag assholes just like him infesting law schools across the country.
In a disturbing example of personality-Darwinism, douchebaggery thrives at law schools across this country because more often than not, douchebags like Dion survive and become employed. Some of these douchebags then get involved in their law firms' hiring programs, and are prone to recommend the hiring of douchebags following in their douche-y trail. This has to be stopped.
Dion Alaniz can't be un-douched. But others can.
posted by alaniz_vs_hills at 10:00 AM 1 comments About Me
Name:alaniz_vs_hills
View my complete profile Links
* Find out what it means to me! * Professor Hills * Dion wanted to go to U. Texas
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* Click here to read the loathsome email in its entirety. * Dion On... * Now go get your shinebox * The Original Email * The morning of friday has now come and gone!
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Date: January 31st, 2006 5:26 PM Author: provocative shrine While I can understand why this prof's behavior would be really annoying, I feel the need to point out that, contrary to what someone said above, shit gets done late in all professions, even in the "real" world. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4957955) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 5:44 PM Author: Drab idiot heaven This is incredible. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4958089) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 5:49 PM Author: laughsome cerise center organic girlfriend Someone should introduce this douche to the douche who complains about graded exams at WUSTL a year after the fact. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4958114) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 6:29 PM Author: salmon disturbing trailer park private investor it looks like my complaint about objectionable content was taken seriously... (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4958502) |
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Date: January 31st, 2006 8:10 PM Author: Jet-lagged crystalline library messiness Subject: Hills still hasn't graded his other class. fucker (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#4959516) |
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Date: June 9th, 2008 7:39 PM Author: mischievous stag film haunted graveyard xo 1ls: time to start naming names of profs who deserve the bigtex treatment? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#9874215) |
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Date: June 9th, 2008 7:44 PM Author: Alcoholic bateful son of senegal lulz, this guy works at the same firm as mindthegap (chicago douche). i bet it's the douchiest firm ever. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#9874222) |
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Date: June 9th, 2008 8:49 PM Author: duck-like tanning salon fat ankles i guess when they say the demand for IP is high, they mean really incredibly fucking high. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#9874458) |
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Date: June 9th, 2008 9:02 PM Author: Curious amber new version Good times. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#9874511) |
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Date: June 10th, 2008 2:05 AM Author: bipolar national security agency I read stuff like this and lament the glory daze of this board. Should I blame the Does, GTO, or AK47 for the decline? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#9875548) |
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Date: June 12th, 2008 12:09 PM Author: mischievous stag film haunted graveyard greely and fisher, you're trying my patience. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=350125&forum_id=2#9883573) |