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Wife threatened divorce again tonight
Poast new message in this thread
Date: July 16th, 2019 12:42 AM Author: boyish fat ankles field We’d made it almost five months since the last time that happened. I’m having a hard time resisting the urge to just get in my car and drive away. Disappear for like a month. It’s as if I’m a single dad and I have two elementary school aged boys and a teenage daughter. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38538972) |
Date: July 16th, 2019 12:44 AM Author: anal domesticated codepig stag film Pics of your daughter? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38538978) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 12:55 AM Author: appetizing base (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38539005) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 10:37 AM Author: boyish fat ankles field Thank god we had two boys. Inshallah neither decides to “transition” but I’m going to ride this out until they hit puberty and their 24/7 boners take over. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38539824) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 12:21 PM Author: Slippery laser beams that's when the real danger comes: the autogynephile is a creation of porn (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38545788) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 7:35 PM Author: talented ratface MODS (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38542373) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 12:58 AM Author: vibrant hell Beat her to it
And by to it I mean her |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 10:39 AM Author: Maize Violent National Security Agency Beat her to it
And by "it" I mean "shit" |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 10:39 AM Author: boyish fat ankles field This all started with a fight we had Sunday in front of the kids where she was basically daring me to lay hands on her. But thankfully I’m not a drunk. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38539831) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 1:22 PM Author: appetizing base Do Koreans beat their women? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38546038) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 10:38 AM Author: Laughsome Federal Fortuitous Meteor how is you fuck game? are you laying the pipe? DO you make herrrrr feel important in bed? Have you considered "reverse roles" maybe a nice butt plug for yourself? Maybe a whatever those faggots call it when you get ass fucked by the girl?
im not a therapist but I would suggest you exhaust all the above first |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 10:43 AM Author: boyish fat ankles field I’ve poasted for years about our dead bedroom and her depression/OCD/spectrum of mental illness. In her defense it’s hard to fuck when you’re both consumed by resentment of each other. We had a good patch in the spring and fucked three times in like six weeks. Right after I got super busy at work for a couple weeks and since then we’ve been completely distant and shut off from each other. So overall it’s not good. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38539852) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 10:45 AM Author: Laughsome Federal Fortuitous Meteor oh vey! not not good. Okay maybe you should assert your role as the leader in the family and this isn't some equal grounds bullshit and she needs to follow the lord's word and how families should be....that being making you happy. see this feminist bullshit results in this crap. you need to stop entertaining her bullshit and tell her flat out she is over reacting, and making you're life MISERABLE (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38539861) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 10:51 AM Author: boyish fat ankles field Lol I’m not Jewish. She’s aware of all of that and for her it’s a feature not a bug. The only leverage I have is pointing out the fact that her crazy bullshit is going to fuck up our kids’ mental health. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38539906) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 10:49 AM Author: Costumed Multi-colored Indian Lodge Weed Whacker have you considered communicating about and meeting each other's emotional & physical needs (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38539895) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 10:52 AM Author: boyish fat ankles field Lol yes but so far that’s easier said than done. A person who is deadset on being miserable all the time is pretty bad at that kind of self-helpy couples therapy stuff. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38539915) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 10:56 AM Author: Costumed Multi-colored Indian Lodge Weed Whacker symptom not a cause (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38539938) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 11:02 AM Author: boyish fat ankles field No she was miserable when I met her and has been ever since, but she used to try to hide it and tricked me bc I’m an autistic XO poaster (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38539973) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 11:07 AM Author: Costumed Multi-colored Indian Lodge Weed Whacker you have the power to fill her with joy every day if you wanted to (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540000) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 11:10 AM Author: boyish fat ankles field I used to actually believe this and beat myself up for not being able to fix her haha *gun barrel clacks against molars* (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540022) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 11:13 AM Author: Costumed Multi-colored Indian Lodge Weed Whacker nah you're going about this all wrong (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540045) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 11:32 AM Author: boyish fat ankles field Teach me, sensei (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540156) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 3:34 PM Author: Useless chestnut personal credit line sadly CR (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38541210) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 10:53 AM Author: Vigorous milk LOL @ women (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38539923) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 11:01 AM Author: boyish fat ankles field The most infuriating thing is when she tries to argue that she works so much harder than I do for our family. We pay a housekeeper and a shitload of money for an all day preschool that costs 50% more than it should. If she were to die while I am at work today I would be out $750 a month to get a 15/hr a week nanny to cover after school and I would have to show the boys a movie on sundays while I meal prepped for the week. And I could probably pay the nanny $2000 and get all day care for our preschooler and then I’d literally be out $500 a month as her contribution to the household (except I would also be avoiding a shitload of expenses like mani/pedis, haircut and color that costs hundreds of dollars a few times per year, laser hair removal, the $150 a month she spends on her boot camp and barre, all the useless chachkies she buys, etc.). Most of her depression comes from having no purpose in life for the last 20 years or really ever. She thought having kids would fix it but she’s just as miserable as she was before. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38539965) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 11:12 AM Author: outnumbered amber hall travel guidebook women love victim complexes. News at 11. women at work spend half their time worrying about what everyone else is doing & acting put upon, like they have to do so much more. they don’t see the irony that they waste the majority of the day fixated on that stuff instead of actually working themselves. they are unbelievably inefficient & concerned with form over substance. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540036) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 1:48 PM Author: bearded cracking newt (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540780) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 2:31 PM Author: outnumbered amber hall travel guidebook Case in point: A man can go mow his front & back lawns in 100 degree heat in an hour or two. Come inside, grab a beer, & watch TV. His wife can putter around the house for hours ostensibly doing “chores” but really getting constantly distracted & getting nothing actually done, but she’ll get mad at the sight of her husband on the couch & act like she’s doing all the work. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540982) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 6:21 PM Author: boyish fat ankles field This was literally the two hours prior to the fight we had Sunday morning. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38542036) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 1:28 PM Author: appetizing base (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38546057) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 11:39 AM Author: cruel-hearted ticket booth people who are hurt Sounds like you already know the solution... (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540188) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 3:28 PM Author: burgundy dashing death wish (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38541187) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 2:23 PM Author: vibrant hell Super Underrated poast (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540936) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 10:57 AM Author: Slate yarmulke meetinghouse I don’t think I could stay married to someone who routinely threatens divorce. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38539942) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 11:04 AM Author: boyish fat ankles field This phase has only been the last 2.5 years since shortly after we had our second kid (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38539985) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 11:06 AM Author: Slate yarmulke meetinghouse Seems really unhealthy, particularly for you.
Any scholarship on whether serially threatening divorce qualifies as emotional abuse? |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 11:09 AM Author: boyish fat ankles field Every couples therapist we’ve seen has taken my side and every individual therapist I’ve seen has told me to run not walk away from her. So I assume so. It’s literally just the kids and how badly she could fuck them up on her own that keeps me from leaving. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540013) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 11:14 AM Author: Slate yarmulke meetinghouse Sucks. Sorry. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540055) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 3:36 PM Author: Useless chestnut personal credit line good for you for sticking it out to do the right thing (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38541213) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 11:35 AM Author: Pearl curious crotch Jfc I think my relationship sucks until I read what all yallses is like (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540174) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 12:17 PM Author: Submissive Trip Love Of Her Life lol it's astonishing that 90% of the people on xo are broken people married to broken women and trapped in broken marriages (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540401) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 12:38 PM Author: boyish fat ankles field It takes a special kind of person to give up on their dreams and commit wholeheartedly to striving at age 20-whatever. Even then I knew on some level that my 12 year old self was looking at me crying “why doesn’t he fight back?” The best part is that I also met my wife when I was 22 and I took a gap year before law school bc I thought she was the one and I wanted to take a year to make sure we would “get serious.” 12 year old me was like “I don’t get it. You fucked four different girls in the past six months! What the fuck are you doing!?!?” (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540500) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 1:29 PM Author: appetizing base Yeah but but ... Ilham Omar is an anti-semite! (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38546058) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 4:52 PM Author: pea-brained histrionic menage trust fund Nah, they just get the most attention. I have a good marriage and goodwife. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547058) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 12:09 PM Author: drab swashbuckling space when is the last time you went on a vacation w/her without working for a week (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540360) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 12:18 PM Author: drab swashbuckling space or maybe even w/o your wife although she wouldprobably flip her shit (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540407) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 12:40 PM Author: boyish fat ankles field I went to Vegas without her or kids in March and that was the start of our last “good patch.” I have worked on every vacation since before kids bc she always passes out at 10 or 11 when she has to be with the me and the kids all day. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540505) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 12:32 PM Author: 180 nursing home toaster My wife has threatened divorce, packed her bags and left me countless times. She always comes back. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540478) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 2:25 PM Author: vibrant hell Change locks next time (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540946) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 2:28 PM Author: Pearl curious crotch Well obviously. She wants to stay in america (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540963) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 2:31 PM Author: Submissive Trip Love Of Her Life (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38540981) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 4:53 PM Author: pea-brained histrionic menage trust fund (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547062) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 3:40 PM Author: Flatulent razzle generalized bond Sounds like a normal marriage to me. When my wife does this I just yell at her and never apologize for anything. Then she’ll be back to normal in a few hours. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38541230) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 6:25 PM Author: boyish fat ankles field I used to do this, but post-kids it's not plausible because she knows she has leverage. The only way I can get leverage over her is if I literally get a job on the other side of the country and disappear and take the kids in the summers and try to get them to tell the judge they want to live with me full time. I fantasize about this constantly but doubt I could pull it off. Plus the preschooler is a hardcore mama's boy and won't see through her shit for like five more years. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38542052) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 6:28 PM Author: Elite theater Yea brother, nothing strange going on here. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38542059) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 6:35 PM Author: boyish fat ankles field LOL lately it's like she went back and read your SPS wife threads over the last couple years and got ideas that she's now implementing. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38542088) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 6:37 PM Author: Elite theater Yea, that's a lot of fun. Marriage is a lot of fun. The only thing that gets me through it during the bad times is knowing that this mortal existence is relatively short and that soon enough I'll be dead. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38542094) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 6:38 PM Author: Crawly Sticky Pit this too will pass (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38542098) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 6:50 PM Author: Insanely Creepy Windowlicker Boistinker Didn't know thunder Collins went pumo (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38542143) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 6:57 PM Author: drab swashbuckling space I thought this was muscadine wine, and was genuinely shocked to see him post in the thread (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38542172) |
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Date: July 16th, 2019 7:38 PM Author: Insanely Creepy Windowlicker Boistinker It really does seem like a lot of us ended up in shitty marriages, which is pretty fucked up if you consider what standup guys we all are. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38542391) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 9:42 AM Author: drab swashbuckling space my wife is completely 180 and I just sit here flummoxed when I read these threads. (he lisped) (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38544937) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 9:54 AM Author: hairraiser area circlehead Why did you marry in the first place? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38544987) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 10:20 AM Author: boyish fat ankles field She was hot and I had a string of CAWG short-term girlfriends/hookups in late college that made me feel like she was a rare gem of a girl who would make a good wife. She was also very adamant that she didn't want a shrew life and wanted to prioritize family and motherhood. Basically every other girl I knew was either a church lady weirdo or a proto-SJW/shrew. Going to law school strengthened my conviction that GC had poisoned the brains of most American women and that she had a rare combo of looks/brains/priorities. We dated for 5 years before marrying and survived a long period of long distance and she stuck by me in my early career when I picked a SPS first firm and then got Latham'd in ITE. In 2010 I genuinely thought she was the only good decision I had made in my life despite the fact that our bedroom was already pretty dead.
She was also better at hiding her mental illness before kids and we had way more fun when we had more time to just hang out and be lazy together. So it's really only since kids that her brain fully broke, and I would say 60% of it is that she really wanted a girl but had difficult pregnancies and enjoys parenting toddlers/pre-schoolers much less than she thought she would, so we've decided to stop after two kids. We had this conversation 5 months ago where she basically admitted that she felt like a worthless failure and wanted a career now, but doubts her own ability to make it happen. I have tried to be supportive, but she also basically refuses to accept that she is depressed and needs to seek treatment for it, so it's just a disaster end-to-end at this point. |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 10:24 AM Author: cruel-hearted ticket booth people who are hurt Go to couples therapy, which would segue into her going to her own therapist. Sounds like she put children on a pedestal and hoped that having them would give her life meaning and purpose. You need to make her well being your number one priority. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38545121) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 10:27 AM Author: boyish fat ankles field We've seen five different couples therapists over the past 10 years. We left the fight Sunday with me signing up to find couples therapist number six. I admittedly have not been making her well being my number one priority because I have two young children and a stressful job that is our family's sole source of income. I guess I'll have to find a way to do more now. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38545136) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 10:29 AM Author: drab swashbuckling space are you living in a coastal city & trying to support 4 people on one income? modern "U"SA has made this unnecessarily stressful and immiserating. downshift expenses (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38545145) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 12:17 PM Author: boyish fat ankles field I'm at are country inhouse, but it's getting more and more expensive here now, too. But overall the money stress is definitely muted v. the coasts. I'm from the east coast, lived in NYC and also lived in SF and LA, so I have the benchmarks, but kids and home ownership are constant sources of unplanned expenses. I feel like it goes without saying, but this spring we were at a party in a further out suburb and I pointed out to her that we could move to a nicer, bigger house if we were willing to live further out, and my commute wouldn't get much worse. She of course shot that down immediately because she hates the idea of living in a "little boxes" generic suburb instead of a cool neighborhood that makes her sisters jealous. If we get divorced I will of course live in a hovel in BFE. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38545758) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 10:30 AM Author: cruel-hearted ticket booth people who are hurt Oh, wow. Does she not want to go to her own therapist?
Happiness is a choice, man. She can choose to be happy about having a hard working husband, two-healthy beautiful children, a nice house, etc., or she can choose to mope about lost opportunities, a wasted life, lack of career, etc. It's really that simple; it's just a shift in perspective. |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 12:20 PM Author: boyish fat ankles field She went to therapy once and definitely seemed to be trying to make use of it, and it really did seem like her therapist was god awful. That was like two years ago. But since then she's claimed she's too busy and doesn't want to spend the money because it won't help. Her sister is on SSRIs and she is still crazy, so wife thinks (reasonably) that therapy/shrinks are bullshit. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38545783) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 10:33 AM Author: adventurous gaped principal's office What a living hell. Can you provide her narrative though? Like what's her gripe and version of this? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38545182) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 12:39 PM Author: boyish fat ankles field She would say that I am unreliable in that I try to take on too much at work and in life generally, and don't follow through with stuff at home, and she's sick of it. She would also say that she doesn't trust me because when I was crashing and burning early in my career and she would text me at 6 pm I would tell her I was about to leave the office but then not get home until after 8 and she would be stewing in her resentments and not speak to me and I would barely notice because I was so stressed and tired.
She would also claim that I should have done more to foster a physical relationship. She generally claims that the root cause of our physical relationship problems is that I made her feel like all I wanted was sex and our physical relationship lacked intimacy, and when she told me this I didn't change so she became closed off. I would retort that I did a lot to try to make her feel comfortable, and she was constantly rejecting me for like a decade. I would also say that the root cause issue is that her immigrant parents would physically beat her and scream at her when a boy called her house in high school and she's fucked up and needs to deal with her shit, and I would be happy to do whatever I can to help if she would take this seriously. At various points in the past she's admitted that this is an issue, and we've even done "sex therapist" exercises e.g. where she has to basically let me lightly touch her and try to enjoy it, but it's not something that a "touch" exercise can solve because it's resulted in a her being depressed generally and just not able to "self-actualize" or whatever in any phase of her life. Both her sisters are the exact same way. Her older sister just got divorced and my wife watching her go through that is the main reason why she backs off these divorce threats eventually.
So I basically stopped trying regularly to initiate anything even in the few years before kids and after kids it's just completely off the radar for both of us. When I'm horny I just wait for her to go to bed so I can watch porn. So we've had sex like maybe 15-20 times since 2010. And of course she's found porn on various devices and an escort ad once or twice and assumes I'm fucking whores on the reg. |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 4:21 PM Author: Insanely Creepy Windowlicker Boistinker " She generally claims that the root cause of our physical relationship problems is that I made her feel like all I wanted was sex and our physical relationship lacked intimacy"
Wtf does this even mean. How does a focus on sex negate intimacy in a physical relationship? |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 5:22 PM Author: Marvelous step-uncle's house (Guy who selects sexual partners based on whether they will wear a headset and watch a screen while boning doggy style) (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547216) |
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Date: July 18th, 2019 12:02 AM Author: Glittery misunderstood affirmative action (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38549203) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 4:23 PM Author: sable stain (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38546925) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 4:25 PM Author: Costumed Multi-colored Indian Lodge Weed Whacker have you tried treating your wife like a human being with feelings and emotional responses instead of just a fuck robot? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38546937) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 4:41 PM Author: coral razzmatazz ape She's clearly AZN man (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547006) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 4:48 PM Author: Insanely Creepy Windowlicker Boistinker sounds more indian (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547039) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 4:52 PM Author: sable stain (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547057) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 4:52 PM Author: coral razzmatazz ape Good point (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547061) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 4:53 PM Author: boyish fat ankles field You’re all wrong. She’s pretty obvs Persian. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547066) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 4:58 PM Author: boyish fat ankles field Do you mean when I pay for her entire life, put two babies in her, comfort her after both are born with complications, take lead with every medical issue that comes up in hospital and afterward, get up with both kids at night 99% of the time to this day, also am up with them first every M-F feed them breakfast make their lunches, get them ready for school, trade off bedtimes and dishes/cleanup after dinner, watch all the shitty tv shows she chooses, pay for a sitter so we can have date nights every week and deal with in-laws constantly since her sister lives 5 min away and her parents are an hour away and my whole family is on the other side of the country? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547087) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 4:59 PM Author: sable stain I don't understand a culture being socially conservative enough where girls are beaten for dating, but liberal enough that women aren't expected to do any traditional motherly/wifey duties. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547097) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 5:06 PM Author: boyish fat ankles field Persians with money have pakis and afghanis that clean and cook for them. Also they are first generation so obviously they are all supposed to go to med school and be plastic surgeons, in which case they will hire Mexicans and Salvadorans to be their Pakis and afghanis. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547128) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 5:06 PM Author: Costumed Multi-colored Indian Lodge Weed Whacker yes this is all logical and rational and reasonable and you aren't 100% wrong to feel the way you do at this time
but there is also a nearly indescribable element here that is very clearly missing from your relationship (based on the way you describe your issues) and you may have the ability to open yourself to it. but it is a mental/emotional switch with an action potential requiring enough oomf to get to the other side and click into place. this is what your wife is craving and does not have the tools available to describe exactly how to get there, resulting in the present miscommunication and bitterness
even worse, there is a feedback loop making it more difficult to cross this barrier (requiring more effort) and easier to get into the routines and troubles of inefficiently transmitted emotional energies |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 5:09 PM Author: boyish fat ankles field I guess so, female poaster. I guess so. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547139) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 5:17 PM Author: Costumed Multi-colored Indian Lodge Weed Whacker this is a problem which requires a solution along the lines of "work smarter, not harder"
pushing too strongly in one direction will get you further away from the goal. what I attempted to describe previously involves a certain amount of passivity |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 5:56 PM Author: boyish fat ankles field I don't think you quite have the picture in your head of her constantly pouting, withdrawn, completely distant and sleeping 11 hours a day. You're presupposing someone who's patiently waiting for me to make the right reach/bid and she will unlock. That's not this. She's more like "I wish I could kill myself, but I don't want to do that to my kids." (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547362) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 5:57 PM Author: Costumed Multi-colored Indian Lodge Weed Whacker those are likely all symptoms and a result of this going on for so long
imagine a car with a small mechanical problem that isn't repaired properly and just gets worse and worse overtime until there are major issues
you didn't do anything "wrong" here and seem to be putting in quite a bit of effort. it's a simple communication issue because often men and women don't even speak the same language
the bottom line is she needs something she does not know how to ask for |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 7:15 PM Author: boyish fat ankles field So you’re agreeing that she is like a child who can’t care for herself or be self-aware enough to feel some small inkling of responsibility to get her shit together for her kids’ sake if nothing else. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547726) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 10:00 PM Author: Costumed Multi-colored Indian Lodge Weed Whacker um not quite
but the resentment which has built up is obviously a barrier to improvement all around in this situation |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 5:21 PM Author: Insanely Creepy Windowlicker Boistinker Do you give them milk, milk, milk like greedy little milkpigs? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547213) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 4:31 PM Author: bearded cracking newt 20 times since 2010? flame? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38546962) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 4:56 PM Author: adventurous gaped principal's office OP clearly needs a marriage counseling BULL to take care of his wife (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547077) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 4:59 PM Author: adventurous gaped principal's office How's that career going? She doesn't work?
Sounds like you're a workaholic and can't fuck her good or provide any emotional satisfaction.
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Date: July 17th, 2019 5:08 PM Author: boyish fat ankles field The worst part is that I fuck her and every other girl I’ve ever fucked great. I’m 40 and still have rock hard erections like when I was 20 and am a megagirthmo. She has sloppy wet orgasms every time we fuck. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547137) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 5:10 PM Author: adventurous gaped principal's office Sounds good bro. Then why aren't you fucking more? Do you even stick your thumb up her ass? (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547143) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 5:53 PM Author: boyish fat ankles field Not into poop, no. She has mental problems because her parents beat her every time they saw her showing interest in a boy. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547354) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 7:13 PM Author: boyish fat ankles field Also career is infinity times better than it was in 2010. The main issue is that kids consume our free time and don’t make her feel what she expects to feel. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38547721) |
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Date: July 17th, 2019 10:02 PM Author: Costumed Multi-colored Indian Lodge Weed Whacker men give each other the stupidest advice imaginable. no wonder this is such a broken world (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38548635) |
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Date: July 18th, 2019 12:12 AM Author: sable stain Explain. (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38549243) |
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Date: July 18th, 2019 12:15 AM Author: slap-happy unhinged parlour (female) (https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4303838&forum_id=2#38549248) |