Evan39: You know, after that whole ordeal with the homeless encampment outside my grocery store, I told myself I'd just walk out of Seattle one day, straight down I-5, through Portland, down to California, maybe even further. Thought I could reinvent myself as a roving nomad lawyer. I was the best at pretending to be anything, and I once told Disco Fries that without so much as a blink. Just a while ago, I wanted everyone on this board purged for their stupidity. I forget how often I'm the king of those fools.

Mainlining: That's not how I see you.

Evan39: Mainlining, do you know how I really became a legend on this board? It wasn’t by chance or some random act of digital heroism. I keep Boom—brain-damaged from ADM, kidnapped and held captive. I poast under both monikers, and every time Boom tries to break free with his rants about gambling, sporTTT, and fraudlies, I just keep him tucked away. When he spirals into another conspiracy theory or starts yelling about "fraud!" and "fix!" on every sports poast, I type in his voice, let him scream into the void, while I watch from behind the scenes. It's all been a performance, a double act. Whenever there's a big blowup, a new scandal, I just swap monikers, stir the pot, and sit back as everyone scrambles to figure out who's who. That's how I built my reputation. I'm the puppet master, pulling strings, keeping everyone guessing.

Mainlining: That just makes you a poaster, Evan.

Evan39: Does it?

Mainlining: What you're describing is a surplus of being in the right thread at the right time, not a lack of guts.

Evan39: I'm a fraud, brother. A fraud wrapped in stale BigLaw pretenses.

Mainlining: I challenge any XO historian to scroll through your archives and say you haven't left your mark.

Evan39: A man like me will do incredible things just to be noticed. My… My father… My father was a total joke. Tanked his life with bad real estate deals. Tried to hobnob with Biglaw partners in some rundown steakhouse, like that would make him one of them. My mom? She’s probably from that same world of misplaced ambitions. I’m a side effect, a footnote. Raised by whoever would take me. And my name… “Evan39?” I invented that after I got banned for the fifth time. I'm not even a real poaster by their standards.

Mainlining: I didn't know any of that.

Evan39: I've never said it out loud here. I always thought I deserved more, so I threw myself into every debate, every flame war, every pixelated courtroom drama to build a life that didn’t make me cringe to live it. All those times I "stood my ground" against some random troll? It’s all just vanity. Always has been. And here, on this board, we are at the end of that vanity.

Mainlining: Then you are free. Find your courage in something else now. Like… the bizarre friendships we make on this forum. The brotherhood of shared mockery.

Evan39: Are we brothers, Mainlining? I’d like that very much.

Mainlining: [grins] If we can survive this place, my friend, we might just be.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5593308&forum_id=2#48078710)