Private jets have become child's play, because you get out and get in the limo, and then drink champagn while the poor drives you. Helicopters represent a whole new era of prestige, one that even I have not looked into as thoroughly as you fuckers scour the buffet line for a stray king crab leg. Apparently I need to locate a helipad near the restaurant. I assume my loyal man-servant, Alfred, will be able to achieve this promptly.

The more difficult question, and the one I request you assistance in addressing, involves how to dress. Typically, I Rock the Croc- one lime green, one pink, collars up. Way up. But if I'm arriving in a fucking helicopter, I may need some extreme gear. Like a polo with a retractible collar that folds down automatically so that the spinning blades on the helicopter won't cause the collar to flap against my face. I considered going with a suit (Brioni, obviously), but felt that this is too similar to how you loser-strivers look on the first day of law school (because you've always been around proles and will wear your "Sunday best," as you call it, to any non-Burger King-related event).

So my question is this: do any of you have experience with picking up girls in helicopters? I'd ask my Father but he would ridicule me for not knowing this already. He already things biglaw attorneys are monkies.

Prestigiously yours,

174

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626198)

agreed. see below.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626252)

My advice would be:

1. Name your helicopter "MODELS 'N' BOTTLES", a title which should be featured prominently in bold black letters, both sides.

2. Look for analyst-level investment bankers who are at bars with their douchebag male co-workers. Most of the men will be middle-class striver-fucks who have only been "ballers" for a few months. (The women will be too, but you're not thinking marriage.) Point out obvious flaws in the male bankers' pedigree and dress. If any are wearing casual, pop their collars for them.

3. Wear a beanie upon approach. You'll be seen, at first, as a dork, but if you say "I have one of these" while spinning the rotator, the smart women will get the hint and come to you. The stupid ones will think you mean a garbage disposal rather than a helicopter, and flock to you as well for a slightly different reason.

4. If you happen to find suitable marriage material, have your advisor (or your father's, if you haven't your own yet) find out if she's on the Register and look into her history. After this, proceed with the marriage negotiations. Obviously, you should allow your advisor to negotiate the dowry; if you get involved, it'll seem crass.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7628028)

"champaign"

[...]

"monkies"

wow...two very unpreftigious spelling errors.

I did, however, get a great chuckle out of your latest YTMND, particularly your commentary that you "pop [your]collar like Count Chocula, bitchez!"

classic.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626250)

EDIT: pretty hilarious, actually. i'm no 174 troll, but the OK Computer-like voiceover makes me laugh heartily.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626272)

The thing with spelling errors is this: I have people who spell things correctly so that I don't have to. My time is worth several hundred dollars per hour (which is low, actually, but that's what the firm has decided it can charge people). I am, therefore, much too elite and expensive to be bothered with spellcheck, especially as many TTT proles (like black keys) could do it for me.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626263)

Olive Garden-dining, Subaru -> Olive Garden-dining Subaru

Father -> father

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626283)

and father was capitalized on purpose, because I want to pay homage to the elite individual who will subsidize me well into my 40's.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626287)

Anyway, good advice- but I think the trend at the very elite restaurants is to have people come around to the table and pop the collars for you.*

*Note to daft secretaries: I typed "collars" on purpose. It was no typo. It is plural because the truly elite are NEVER caught outside wearing less than two polos.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626387)

ahhh yes, i encountered this when i was at an extremely elite restaurant (i was slumming it, my date was a dumb new money poor, hardly worth taking to the really elite places i frequent with my fiancee).. while the complimentary collar popping service is intriguing, I'm not sure I trust some useless poor waiter with my polo that cost what he makes in a week. perhaps if the collar-popper was a HYP grad, i'd allow him to handle my collar (after seeing his degree, of course).

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626446)

Author: 174 (Destroyer of lives)

This thread is to alert you of a new way I'm going to ball. The next coke-addicted Asian girl I take to Bastide will be picked up in a helicopter. That's right you Olive Garden-dining, Subaru drivers: I will arrive at the restaurant in a fucking helicopter.

Private jets have become child's play, because you get out and get in the limo, and then drink champagn while the poor drives you. Helicopters represent a whole new era of prestige, one that even I have not looked into as thoroughly as you fuckers scour the buffet line for a stray king crab leg. Apparently I need to locate a helipad near the restaurant. I assume my loyal man-servant, Alfred, will be able to achieve this promptly.

The more difficult question, and the one I request you assistance in addressing, involves how to dress. Typically, I Rock the Croc- one lime green, one pink, collars up. Way up. But if I'm arriving in a fucking helicopter, I may need some extreme gear. Like a polo with a retractible collar that folds down automatically so that the spinning blades on the helicopter won't cause the collar to flap against my face. I considered going with a suit (Brioni, obviously), but felt that this is too similar to how you loser-strivers look on the first day of law school (because you've always been around proles and will wear your "Sunday best," as you call it, to any non-Burger King-related event).

So my question is this: do any of you have experience with picking up girls in helicopters? I'd ask my Father but he would ridicule me for not knowing this already. He already things biglaw attorneys are monkies.

Prestigiously yours,

174

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=582422&forum_id=2#7626407)