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protip: the main reason soccer sucks is its defining characteristic

not being able to use your hands is stupid as fuck. other th...
marvelous mint trust fund
  06/29/26
it's an affront to human handedness. when you compare hu...
Submissive curious public bath stain
  06/29/26
this is cr- humans are exceptional at THROWING objects - lit...
Cordovan deranged goyim messiness
  06/29/26
as a general hypothesis, a sport is better the closer it get...
marvelous mint trust fund
  06/29/26
the scoring is too arbitrary. ann coulter said it best when ...
Crawly Bawdyhouse
  06/29/26
And at the pro level this inherent aspect of the game is mit...
gunneratttt
  06/29/26
No hands doesn't bother me. Being able to hold the ball make...
gunneratttt
  06/29/26
Oh no! Brutality! Gee! Anything but that!
Fucking Fuckface
  07/14/26
smaller field would mean less scoring.
Chartreuse theater
  07/14/26
...
marvelous mint trust fund
  07/14/26


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Date: June 29th, 2026 12:55 PM
Author: marvelous mint trust fund

not being able to use your hands is stupid as fuck. other than the brain, humans’ extreme forelimb prehensility is probably their defining physical characteristic. while every sport has some arbitrary rules limiting the range of human capability, negating that trait entirely is off-puttingly unnatural and inherently gimmicky.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5878298&forum_id=2#49969070)



Reply

Date: June 29th, 2026 8:52 PM
Author: Submissive curious public bath stain

it's an affront to human handedness.

when you compare human beings to the other four great apes, the major differences are brain size, upright bipedalism, opposable thumbs, and a series of adaptations that enable us (and only us) to throw things with speed and accuracy. scientists have found baseball and tennis ball sized stones used as weapons dating back at least two millions years.

still, it's an elegant sport and a visual delight. plus it's once of the few sports that athletes of ordinary size can dominate.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5878298&forum_id=2#49970037)



Reply

Date: June 29th, 2026 1:07 PM
Author: Cordovan deranged goyim messiness

this is cr- humans are exceptional at THROWING objects - literally the best species on the planet not flame. this is why football hits in all the right ways.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5878298&forum_id=2#49969098)



Reply

Date: June 29th, 2026 8:38 PM
Author: marvelous mint trust fund

as a general hypothesis, a sport is better the closer it gets to utilizing full human capacity with the least artificiality in the achievement of its ends. hence, mma>boxing, 100m dash>pole vault, freestyle swim>diving, etc. the restrictions in soccer are so backwards and affected as to remove it from serious consideration altogether.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5878298&forum_id=2#49970030)



Reply

Date: June 29th, 2026 8:59 PM
Author: Crawly Bawdyhouse

the scoring is too arbitrary. ann coulter said it best when she said its a sport for little kids that maximizes the worse team's chances of winning

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5878298&forum_id=2#49970051)



Reply

Date: June 29th, 2026 9:04 PM
Author: gunneratttt

And at the pro level this inherent aspect of the game is mitigated by it being extremely defensive and risk adverse, so you wind up with two teams jogging 99% of the time and shooting for a 1-0 win or 0-0 tie.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5878298&forum_id=2#49970057)



Reply

Date: June 29th, 2026 9:01 PM
Author: gunneratttt

No hands doesn't bother me. Being able to hold the ball makes defense nearly impossible. Which is why you have to dribble in basketball and rugby and football are extremely brutal.

The worst thing about soccer is that it's competitive jogging, flopping is pathetic and feminine, and there's no scoring. If they did something like the XFL with a smaller field and more contact it might be interesting. But that would basically be hocky on grass.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5878298&forum_id=2#49970055)



Reply

Date: July 14th, 2026 4:48 PM
Author: Fucking Fuckface

Oh no! Brutality! Gee! Anything but that!

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5878298&forum_id=2#49999829)



Reply

Date: July 14th, 2026 4:55 PM
Author: Chartreuse theater

smaller field would mean less scoring.



(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5878298&forum_id=2#49999846)



Reply

Date: July 14th, 2026 4:43 PM
Author: marvelous mint trust fund



(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5878298&forum_id=2#49999814)