1) How would you feel if someone did this to your little sister? Think about it—how would you feel if people leered at otherwise innocent pictures of her and made sexist, objectifying remarks about her in a national forum, causing her emotional distress and the loss of professional opportunities?
You would probably be pissed off and would want to put an end to the harassment. You should all respect other women, including Heide as though they are your little sister. Otherwise, your conduct makes it acceptable for all men to act this way toward all women—and one day your little sister very well could find herself in a similar situation.
2) Also, just because YOU don’t care about a particular woman does not mean that she does not have other people in her life who do care about her, nor does it mean that she does not have feelings that can be hurt. Don’t forget that at the end of the day, the target of these vicious remarks is a real person who like all of us, cares to some extent what people think of her, and can be devastated by unkind words.
3) You are all wrong and unfair in criticizing Heide for using Reputation Defender’s services. No one wants to be bullied- period. As such, how can you all fault her for trying to put an end to the torment? The reality is that any of us in her shoes would also have wanted to end the harassment.
Moreover, it is hard to rise up and tackle a problem proactively after being beaten down. She must be a very strong woman— I admire her for being able to pull herself together and stand up, as opposed to lying low and hoping that her attackers find someone else to pick on.
Date: March 7th, 2007 8:49 PM Author: Beady-eyed amber step-uncle's house
while i agree with all these sentiments, prepare to be called a nigger or a commie or a slut or a cunt or whatever by the dozen or so trolls that have been perpetuating this pointless and destructive campaign over the last few weeks.
Date: March 7th, 2007 8:49 PM Author: Magenta kink-friendly rehab
Obviously, you're 100% correct.
But you're not doing this poor woman any good by bringing up these points in this forum. If anything, you're making it worse for her by adding fuel to the fire.
This debacle is only going to end if we just let it die down.
Date: March 7th, 2007 8:49 PM Author: chartreuse fighting field
i met a girl at a party once who i tea-bagged later that night. should i think of her as my sister?
on a more serious note, i agree that the people posting personal info about her should stop. i wish we could have just stopped at ogling her pics. once rude comments were made, i wish she would have simply let the issue fade away. she made a HORRIBLE decision by hiring reputation defender and going to the press. on the internet, once information is out there, it is IMPOSSIBLE to remove. letting it fade from public attention is the only possible way to fix the problem. the press/reputation defender attention will only bring her more unwanted attention.
I actually sent her a comfort email. I know it was probably crossing the line, but I figured she must be getting so many horrible disgusting emails and that maybe mine might make her feel a little better.
Date: March 7th, 2007 8:50 PM Author: spruce cerebral hunting ground generalized bond
I don't think anyone in the history of the human race has ever lost a job because random third parties called them attractive. On the other hand, showing poor judgment by hiring a pathetic internet PR firm to fight your battles for you would be a reason why I would avoid hiring someone.
Date: March 7th, 2007 9:23 PM Author: spruce cerebral hunting ground generalized bond
I don't get why having one douchebag talking shit on a board like this would in any way impact someone's career. If I was a hiring partner that thread would not have given me a negative image of her at all; the guy who started the thread comes off as a jealous ass.
Date: March 7th, 2007 9:31 PM Author: crawly queen of the night
Brittan Heller is probably completely insufferable to be around. A YLS student getting zero offers is unheard of, and wouldn't happen because someone on the internet called her a bitch. She probably has a worse personality than any poster here.
Date: May 1st, 2007 1:15 PM Author: unhinged tattoo kitchen
you have to realize that the majority of people who post on this board, and an even greater majority of people who read this board... are sympathetic to Heide. and, if this whole case went before a jury of ordinary citizens who were simply asked whether what she's been through is outrageous and wrong, the jury would rule in her favor. that reality will never be reflected if you read the messages here, however. a small group of people can dominate a discussion, distort reality, and create illusions. and you and the reading public need to know this, so the entire xoxo group isnt lopped into the same category as the losers who enjoy harassing her.
I think everyone needs to remember that just because it is legal to do what you are doing does not make it the right thing to do. Just because someone posts a picture on a website does not mean they have willingly displayed themselves for comments on a such as this. It is a shame that such arguments made by boredlaw students/lawyers are being used, not in a court of law to defend someone LEGALLY but to justify doing something to someone MORALLY. People on this board have blurred the distinction between making arguments for why something, logically, can be done, and whether or not it should have been.
EDIT: This site has much to offer, but this whole mess has made it a waste of time lately.
Date: March 8th, 2007 9:38 AM Author: at-the-ready hideous crackhouse
I dont advocate going after either of these girls, but the one who blames us for her no job instead of her own terrible personality deserves more scorn that the girl who just bitched to the douches at Repuation Defender.
"1) How would you feel if someone did this to your little sister? Think about it—how would you feel if people leered at otherwise innocent pictures of her and made sexist, objectifying remarks about her in a national forum, causing her emotional distress and the loss of professional opportunities?"
This would never happen to my syster. Younger and less mature though she is, she knows enough to have accepted her nomination with grace and ignored any dumbass comments people on the internet may have made about her.
"You would probably be pissed off and would want to put an end to the harassment. You should all respect other women, including Heide as though they are your little sister. Otherwise, your conduct makes it acceptable for all men to act this way toward all women—and one day your little sister very well could find herself in a similar situation."
I have no idea what the hell you are talking about here. I respect people, irrehardless of sex, when they have done something to earn that respect. This has always struck me as a sound policy.
"2) Also, just because YOU don’t care about a particular woman does not mean that she does not have other people in her life who do care about her, nor does it mean that she does not have feelings that can be hurt. Don’t forget that at the end of the day, the target of these vicious remarks is a real person who like all of us, cares to some extent what people think of her, and can be devastated by unkind words."
I think you are stating the blindingly self evident here.
"3) You are all wrong and unfair in criticizing Heide for using Reputation Defender’s services. No one wants to be bullied- period. As such, how can you all fault her for trying to put an end to the torment? The reality is that any of us in her shoes would also have wanted to end the harassment."
"bullied and tormented"? what crap. We have all of us had to deal with bullying in our lives. If she hasn't learned yet that the solution is to rise above it, something is deeply wrong with her. This isn't fighting back, this is going home and crying to mommy. And as in most cases, "mommy" is not particularly well suited to handling the problem.
"Moreover, it is hard to rise up and tackle a problem proactively after being beaten down. She must be a very strong woman— I admire her for being able to pull herself together and stand up, as opposed to lying low and hoping that her attackers find someone else to pick on."
Can we just move past this feminist crap, please? She acted like a complete dumbass. Does she deserve what she's getting here? Of course not. But let's not kid ourselves, she really should have conducted herself more wisely.
People are not going after her because she's a woman, they're going after her because she went against us first. Disrecpect of women has very little to do with this. Had there been a guy who tried to go after xo, the same thing would have happened to him.