Date: June 27th, 2007 11:53 PM Author: free-loading dark ape
Relaxing wise? See some good movies. Go to the park/beach. You should probably do some exercise because being a nasty old maid can be physical as much as mental.
This is the best advice anyone can give you. I don't want to reveal too much, but it is hugely important that you follow it (to the park/beach, relaxing-wise).
Date: June 28th, 2007 12:32 AM Author: rose geriatric sweet tailpipe
Ok, hon. Maybe getting out of Bawlmer once in a while wouldn't hurt.
Also: never let any prospective boyfriend know about your stupid cat videos. You're already risking enough on the image front as it is just by owning the damn critters.
Aging, ronrey woman pining for a man and owning many cats = not a spitting image of teh success.
Date: June 28th, 2007 12:50 AM Author: passionate telephone multi-billionaire
if your real life is anything like the madcat persona, you need to change your behavior and attitude. this will sound harsh, but it's the correct advice and you need to heed it.
- drop the feminism bullshit. if it's a protection mechanism, it's obviously not working. if otherwise, you're not smart enough or beautiful enough to pull it off. you're not ideologically devoted to it anyway (see this thread). start giving head.
- get better looking. you have nice features and you'll be attractive if you put things together wisely. exercise (cardio, squats, lunges). change your hair as indicated above.
- quit making stupid jokes. it's ok for a girl not to be funny. guys expect that. you're actively UNfunny.
- quit spending so much money. this is good advice regardless of your bf situation. but it's also probably true that living outside your means is distorting your preferences for men in some strange way. you need to right your ship.
- don't give up your vajayjay so quickly. this is obvious. giving blowjobs, incidentally, will help you delay sex while maintaining (and hopefully increasing) the guy's interest.
- cultivate your personality. read more, watch better movies. spend more time outside. hang out with friends and don't rely on dates or boyfriends for your social life. learn to be kind.
- review your past relationships with a self-critical eye. understand why they failed.
- quit posting here. it squanders hours that you need to spend on the above.
- once you've incorporated all of the above into your life, wait a month. maybe wait another. then find a guy, or better yet, let him find you. unless you want the next guy to be another no-account who dumps you when he gets bored with your pussy, you need to unfuck yourself before you date again.
Date: June 28th, 2007 1:00 AM Author: peach newt gas station
Um, bite me.
P.S. Blowjobs are way dirtier than sex, I'm in good shape, my relationships fail because I attract assholes, I like my hair AND I'M FUCKIN' HILARIOUS!!!
P.P.S. I am a feminist. Always have, always will be. So, I reiterate, BITE ME.
Date: June 28th, 2007 1:03 AM Author: passionate telephone multi-billionaire
i hope after the sting subsides you return to my post and see what you can get out of it. whether or not you take my advice, i have nothing more to offer but my sincere wishes of good luck and happiness. bye.
Date: June 28th, 2007 1:21 AM Author: Olive university friendly grandma
LOL, he gives you the exact answer you need to solve your problems, and this is your response? And you wonder why everyone you've ever tried to hold onto has dumped you for someone slightly less attractive and probably a bit more dumpy? Get a grip Madcat.
PS: I'd call you a fucking twat but that's obvious
"I'm in good shape, my relationships fail because I attract assholes"
This is direct evidence of that fact that you are a stubborn bitch who will never change and doesn't actually want to despite claims to the contrary. The only reason this thread was posted was to get even more fucking attention from a person who does not deserve it. Scum....you suck horribly.
Date: June 28th, 2007 9:20 AM Author: idiotic vermilion national security agency dilemma
there is good advice, but there is also a lot of bad advice in this post.
"drop the feminism bullshit. if it's a protection mechanism, it's obviously not working. if otherwise, you're not smart enough or beautiful enough to pull it off. you're not ideologically devoted to it anyway (see this thread). start giving head."
this is just st00p1d. Its like telling someone to drop the republican bullshit or christianity bullshit. Its part of her and many people's core values. people who dismiss feminism like you sound like a ditto head.
"quit spending so much money. this is good advice regardless of your bf situation. but it's also probably true that living outside your means is distorting your preferences for men in some strange way. you need to right your ship."
first her spending is obviously a problem she exaggerates for effect on XOXO, the fact you take it so seriously make you seem dense. the part about it distorting her preferences for men is just nonsensical
"quit making stupid jokes. it's ok for a girl not to be funny. guys expect that. you're actively UNfunny."
wtf is this about? you expect a girl to not be funny? I love girls with a sense of humor. madcat is usually witty.
most of the rest is just basic stuff that everyone should do
Date: June 28th, 2007 10:22 AM Author: Flatulent Ruby Tattoo Boiling Water
Madcat labels herself a feminist but its a ridiculous front; she frankly doesnt come across as understanding what it means to be a feminist. Spouting off "girl power" and refusing to suck dick isnt sufficient. IMO this label is just a wall she builds to support herself when the guy leaves.
The guys advice is dead-on "youre not a sincere feminist so stop pretending like you are. It drives men away and thats something you clearly dont want to do." I dont think he was really saying "feminism is stupid."
Date: June 29th, 2007 3:22 AM Author: passionate telephone multi-billionaire
i think fulano and black keys have dealt with the feminism and humor issues already.
the money problem: my shorthand may have been insufficient to get my meaning across. i mean that her spending habits make her financially insecure, and her financial insecurity fucks up her dating choices. this could occur in several fashions (she looks for guys who can support her, e.g., the old man; she looks for any guy who will have her, e.g., shitty guys who cheat on her; not to mention, her financial predicament in general doesn't help her attract quality guys). it's a speculation, but i think it's a fair one, and it takes no great leap of imagination to see how her money situation might contribute to bad choices.
as for whether she exaggerates or not... some people exaggerate their problems as a coping device. regardless, unless she is lying about everything, madcat lives beyond her means.
Date: June 28th, 2007 12:51 AM Author: vibrant corn cake dysfunction
join a dating site/ad on craigslist. Also, stop fucking the first guy you meet and do not SEEM like you fuck the first guy you meet. That is not a good path to getting a boyfriend.
Date: June 28th, 2007 1:06 AM Author: sable abusive corner hunting ground
Be nicer. Not anything specific, just be less of a selfish bitch. I'm 100% serious. Resist the urge to reveal your overly sarcastic, vengeful personality. It's not cute or endearing, and it surely must catch guys off guard since you don't lead with it up front by your own admission.
Date: June 28th, 2007 1:23 AM Author: puce maniacal orchestra pit police squad
You know, you're totally perfect for some art fag from MICA. You should get wasted at Brewer's Art on Friday night and hook up with some destitute art student who will listen to your feminist bullshit. Also, for perspective on feminism, when he's talking about postmodern design, your interest level is equivalent to the average non-art school male during a feminist diatribe. HTFH.
That or you should head over to Belair-Edison and sell that shit.
Had to cool off after a tough day in torts at Baltimore's premier den of legal thinking, which is right around the corner?
Also, did you fuck anybody from MICA (or UB, for that matter) before, during or after your trip to Brewer's? Do you find star tattoos, lip piercings and trucker hats hawt?
How else could you get work in the prestigious Brawltimore market than by attending its most beloved law school, University of Baltimore?
I suppose it's possible you went to UMD law, but that would mean you went to a T1, and that you were in close proximity to all the attractive med students in that area. I doubt either of those situations could occur without protest.
Date: June 28th, 2007 8:37 AM Author: peach newt gas station
See, this is just stupid boy propaganda. You guys don't know I don't do that before you even meet me! That's more of an issue related to me KEEPING a boyfriend than getting one!
Date: June 28th, 2007 8:42 AM Author: Cream church building
Well the meeting part has a lot to do with the fact that you dont go out and are a loner.
But notice how every time you do start dating someone, it slowly goes bad? You know why that is. You shouldn't be concerned with meeting new guys when you know they are going to lose interest once they find out you wont blow them.
Date: June 28th, 2007 8:49 AM Author: Coral Hyperventilating Coldplay Fan
And while refusing to suck cock is by itself a mortal sin punishable by stoning and/or bukkuku, it's also a glaring red siren indicating an insurmountable lack of maturity (sexual and otherwise) and open-mindedness.
Date: June 28th, 2007 10:26 AM Author: Cream church building
I'm not one of those dickheads that demands perfection from women or has the highest standards, but the no BJ policy is an absolute dealbreaker for me.
There is something fundamentally wrong with you, and your refusal to suck cock is merely surface evidence of that flaw. Men are able to perceive the this foundational problem before your frigidity confirms it.
Date: June 28th, 2007 12:39 PM Author: Wonderful field
Exactly. If a girl hasn't been a virgin in ages but still has weird sexual hangups, a guy is going to figure there's something wrong with her. Most times he's right. Unless the girl is model hot, it's easier to find some other, less crazy, piece of ass to date.
Date: June 28th, 2007 1:13 PM Author: Wonderful field
Don't kid yourself. You were a piece of ass to the last few guys who dated you. If you want to be something more than that, you need to do some self-improvement and go a hell of a lot slower in your relationships. No one's going to treasure you as a precious little snowflake right off the bat.
You're getting a lot of abuse on this thread, and you deserve most of it. There's good advice here though. What you've been doing for the last 10 or 15 years has failed miserably. Maybe you shouldn't trust your instincts.
Are there any changes you ARE willing to make? It sounds like your appearance, your sexual behavior and the places you hang out are set in stone. What are you willing to rearrange?
Date: June 28th, 2007 11:41 AM Author: Razzle Organic Girlfriend Mexican
You were never attractive to begin with and now you're getting old. Clearly, you will never have a decent boyfriend. A female at your age looking to finally have a good boyfriend is like a man at 45 asking when he'll start having an education and a real career. Either settle for a loser douchebag or die alone (except, of course, for the cats that will start eating your corpse because they've run out of food and no one has noticed you're dead).
Date: June 28th, 2007 12:54 PM Author: Wonderful field
Lots of people meet in bars. Even if she didn't find a boyfriend there, she'd at least talk to men once in awhile. Maybe that would satisfy her pathetic need for attention a bit, so she won't go nuts every time some non-committal loser hits on her in Starbucks.
Online would work even better for her though, especially if she lightened up and stopped being so picky about unimportant things.
Date: June 28th, 2007 1:16 PM Author: Wonderful field
I was thinking of race and political affiliation.
I don't know how picky you are about looks. Lowered standards might help you there too. You're far from ugly, but you're not a supermodel either. If you only date very attractive men, you set yourself up to be abused a bit.
Date: June 28th, 2007 11:46 AM Author: saffron pit dingle berry
Relax. Have a drink. Quit being so particular and set in your ways about everything. Stop eating. Put a bag on your head. Give beejays freely. Don't talk very much. Smile.
Date: June 28th, 2007 12:02 PM Author: Flatulent Ruby Tattoo Boiling Water
Stop interpreting advice as an attack and retrenching further into your habits as a defense mechanism. Do you want to change and become happier or not?
Nothing is more frustrating than people who talk about changing but refuse to do so.
Date: June 28th, 2007 12:06 PM Author: Wonderful field
In summary: Men on dating sites are assholes and just looking for sex. Men in bars are assholes and just looking for sex. Men who like blowjobs are assholes and just looking for sex and possibly gay on top of all of it.
Guess what? The losers you've been meeting at Starbucks and work are assholes and looking for sex too. It's not like you can do much worse than an old guy who has a million kids and a polyamorous geek.
Your love life isn't working. You've admitted that. This would be a good time to try new things, and to reconsider old biases. Of course, you're not going to do that. You're going to keep blowing your money at Ann Taylor, slurping down lattes, staying in, and wondering why you don't meet any men. Fucking stupid whore.
Date: June 28th, 2007 12:08 PM Author: Wonderful field
Also, have you ever considered that a good way to screen out men who are just looking for sex is to not fuck them right away and see who sticks around? That's honestly never crossed your mind? Or perhaps your psychotic version of feminism holds that testing people's intentions is a form of patriarchal oppression.
Date: June 28th, 2007 12:13 PM Author: Wonderful field
She says she doesn't enjoy being perpetually single either. Sometimes you have to suck it up and do things other people enjoy if you want to meet them. It's not like attractive, interesting, faithful men are hanging out at fucking Ann Taylor.
The other obvious option she's rejected is to join match.com or some other dating service, so she could meet men while she posted on xoxo. Her only objection to that is that the guys on there are losers. Since she dates losers anyway, it's hard to see how that will make things worse.
Yes. Clearly online dating is the way to go for her. And I think it is no longer true that the guys on there are losers. My friend is a very attractive, fun girl who met her boyfriend on yahoo, and he's a cool guy.
Date: June 28th, 2007 12:19 PM Author: Wonderful field
I don't see her lining up to do that either.
I doubt that will do her much good if she did, though. She has yet to mention any interest in things that are social and that men generally enjoy. She seems to like a lot of solitary shit and artsy girly crap. Nothing wrong with that, but she's not going to run into many straight men that way.
You get the loser asshole looking for sex problem everywhere. It's not like hobby groups are zoned for decent men who don't care about getting blown once in awhile only. It's worth it for her to have some, if only to make her a more interesting person and less of a vapid slut, but she needs to stop thinking she's too good for the usual ways people meet each other.
Date: June 28th, 2007 1:14 PM Author: Flatulent Ruby Tattoo Boiling Water
its good for her to get involved in activities bc shes going to meet guys who can view her in ways other than pickup slut. she can get to know them during activities other than dates where they are just hoping to score
Date: June 28th, 2007 1:21 PM Author: Wonderful field
For a normal person that would work. MadCat is treated as a pickup slut by guys she meets in very nonsexual situations. She either radiates it or she's a horrible judge of people's intentions. All she can do is meet a lot of men and not fuck any of them until she gets to know them well.
Date: June 28th, 2007 1:22 PM Author: Flatulent Ruby Tattoo Boiling Water
thats what im thinking. thats why doing activities (building houses, soup kitches, whatever) will give them a chance to get to know each other without the sexual tension
Date: June 28th, 2007 1:25 PM Author: Wonderful field
If she did an activity men like, that would be as good as anything else. You know she's going to join a cat rescue, though, and then whine about not meeting anyone there. She'd probably half-ass and fuck up online dating and meeting men at bars too, though, so it might not matter.
Date: June 28th, 2007 12:58 PM Author: aromatic double fault house
Stop being so fucking weird.
The BJ thing is a perfect example. Contrary to what everyone says the sun does not, for me at least, rise and set on fellatio. But I would never go out with a chick who was selfish enough to say "I just don't do that." As long as the sex was good otherwise a GF could probably get away with blowing me a dozen times a fucking year. An few hours at most out of their fucking life. But if she wouldn't even do that I would lose her. Because those dozen BJs are so important? No. Because she's a fucking selfish piece of shit.
And lose the related feminist shtick. You're from Tennessee. They don't have feminist there. Its like being a fucking Creole from Vermont. You can't do it.
Date: June 28th, 2007 1:17 PM Author: aromatic double fault house
I love it when you start these threads and then spend all your time explaining how you already are the perfect girlfriend and you don't really need any advice.
You might as well be a fucking saltybabe shtick...
Date: June 28th, 2007 1:58 PM Author: scarlet appetizing party of the first part giraffe
wow, this thread is almost cruel. but there is some great advice here.
i guess we can expect madcat (or anyone in this situation) to react against so many "corrections," at least when first confronted with them. maybe it just takes time for things to sink in.
chin up, madcat, and understand that people are trying to help. you've humbled yourself just by making this thread. use that same humility to accept and digest the advice you've received. you have to deflate your ego to get anything out of this. if your cup's already full, then it's bound to overflow.
MadCat, don't you go changing. Just sit on your fat, lazy, cranky ass spouting off faux-feminist bullshit, eating Domino's and Starbucks, doting on your cats, and buying Ann Taylor pantsuits you can't afford. Someday an attractive, rich, fit, sexually unselfish man with the personality of a puppy dog will swoop in and take you away. Just you wait.
Date: June 28th, 2007 3:39 PM Author: Cream church building
A s much as any other boys, yes. And it's not only boys giving you advice.
Plus, when everyone, including rational people who like you, is giving the same type of advice, it doesn't matter where you are, you should at least consider it.
Date: December 26th, 2007 2:25 AM Author: peach newt gas station
Oh, we'll never have that conversation. I'll always leave the option open and mysterious, making him wonder what exact task he has to perform to earn the honor of his dick in my mouth.